


Gensokyo 20XXV: New Beginnings (AKA Apartment Gensokyo)

by Amoridere



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: A lot of tropes, Anarchy, Apartment Building, Cerebus Syndrome, Ghosts, Landlady - Freeform, Mental Illness, Poltergeists, Poor Health, Post-Nuclear War, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-12 09:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 120
Words: 66,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3352028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoridere/pseuds/Amoridere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't worry, this is something a bit more lighter and softer, mostly slice of life, with some serious elements thrown in here and there. It is their lives as they live after the nuclear winter (which has ended) and in an anarchist society that has come after society initially collapsed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Modest Luxury

I suppose being the head landlady of an apartment building is nice, be it if it is of an anarchy. Of course, we are still living in the aftermath of nuclear war, so society has not entirely healed from it but at least there is one, even if it is rather unorthodox to some. Then again, at least food is available, there is running water, electricity-TV!-, health care, and schooling. At least, I have contributed to everyone having a home and they seem to enjoy that thought, especially, Reimu, then again she likes anything she sees as new. It didn't cost much of anything, except my amethyst earrings, and a new house is worth more than those things.

As we live our lives in this apartment building and in this anarchist society, I feel I can for once finally be at ease. After all, our needs are met and we are living in what I would like very much to call a modest luxury. It is, after all, as we are not groveling on the street like many of the tenants that have come to live here or fighting to survive in the forest that has grown too unruly to tame. Though, frankly, I wish we didn't have to eat ratburgers, I've grown pretty fed up with ratburgers.

* * *

"Reimu, don't put your hands into the hot food."

"Why?"

"Because, Ran will get mad if you do."

"Nuh-uh! Liarpants Ren, she didn't get mad the last time!"

"She didn't know you did put your fingers into hot food and that is why she didn't get mad."


	2. Ran and the Children

Reimu still doesn't respond to pain and doesn't seem to comprehend why it is she isn't allowed to put her hands into hot food, especially while it is being cooked. Of course, Yukari did note that she has put her hands into hot things so many times she probably doesn't feel it anymore because, in her words, "if Reimu's put her hands into something hot so many times, then there is a pretty good chance that if it did hurt then it doesn't, as she is probably used to it." and the fact that she doesn't learn. I should have expected this to be so, as she's endured so much mental trauma that it will take ages to erase. However, she did seem to recover from some of it. Aside from being absent a sense of danger or not responding to pain and or injuries and still requiring braces or wheelchair (she can't walk long distances), she is very much a normal child and is even more capable of enjoying this world.

Of course, that sort of thing puts her in some sort of conflict with the others, especially when she is told she isn't allowed to do something. I've dealt with her putting her hands into the food, especially while I am cooking it. I tell her not to but she does it anyway, so I pawn the problem off to Yukari, who gives her the same reprimand, "That's no good, Reimu, you have to mind what Ran says." She usually doesn't listen but, then again, what is there really to expect from that? Children don't often listen and tends to do things because to them it is right, while to adults it is wrong, and that is why they have to be guided, as they are innocent and ignorant to what sort of dangers there are, Reimu especially, doubly so in these anarchistic times.

Naturally, I do hope that the children could go outside and play without needing to be watched over so often, but there isn't anywhere for them to really play, not without them possibly getting injured, getting taken somewhere, or getting into and or eating and drinking something they probably shouldn't, something we've dealt with one time too many, especially after the incident with the flowers. We could get them some education but there isn't that many schools and the ones that are around aren't very safe and many of the teachers are closer to that of students than they are teachers, so we teach them at home. Sometimes, when I go out, I might take one or a few of them with me but that in itself has resulted in my putting them on leashes or carrying one of them (i.e Reimu) and that one time with lead pipe and I would be damned if I let that happen again.

When at home, the children are simply content or running around in the hallways to some of the tenants' dismay. Often, I am usually taking care of them, while Yukari rents out rooms and handles paperwork and Ren is usually searching for or buying food with the money Yukari tends to give him. If they aren't running around in the hallways, they are usually watching videotapes ( _The Moomins_  is a favorite) or something they tend to amuse themselves with whatever, if not sleeping.

Recently, Chen and Sakuya got into a little spat over a can of sardines and the former considered on running over the latter with her wheelchair. This wasn't the first one and it wasn't definitely going to be the last. They always had spats like this and, frankly, I have confronted Sakuya on it but she has a fondness of very much picking on the others because she thinks she's the oldest and the biggest (Chen is a little smaller than she is), therefore she can do what she wants. It always went like this with Chen saying, "You always eat my sardines!" to which Sakuya says, "I don't see your name on 'em!"

"You don't even like 'em but you eat 'em because I do and you don't want me to have 'em!"

"Yeah, well, you eat to many of 'em anyway!"

"No, I don't and I never had any because you are always eating them!"

_(Slap!)_

"Ran-mommie, Sakuya's hitting me again!"

"You're a crybaby! Crybaby, crybaby, cry, cry, cry!"

Naturally, I intervene and say, "You stop hitting Chen or you can go right back next door with Remilia and Flandre, after all, if you going to live in the same apartment with us then you'll abide by our rules, two of which is we don't hit others and we don't eat someone else's snacks." She would cross her arms and turn away, huffing. Sometimes, I wonder why it is we don't send her live back with Remilia and Flandre but, then again, they would most certainly send her back at her insistence, so that is why she lives here. Never could understand why, though.

* * *

"Birthday!"

 


	3. Birthday Wish

According to Yukari-mommy, I have a seventh or eighth birthday coming soon. She also stated it will be Maribel and Renko's birthday, too, because we don't really know their birthdays, so I'll have to share mine. It's okay because I love Maribel and Renko and it'll be fun. I wonder if we'll have cake and I haven't cake in a long time. According to Auntie-sister Ran, she says cake is scarce and that whether or not she can get or bake one depends on what is there. Of course, I asked her if I can go with and she didn't really give me an answer but I insist I go with! I want to go outside and see the sunshine but Ran usually says no. She never does say why, though, but it is always no and I think it is because I am frail. I stopped asking after that but I do hope I can go outside for my birthday, at least once.

Humph! When I'm not outside, I'm on harness tied to leash tied to a hook somewhere so I won't go in the kitchen and its awful 'cause no one else has to be on a leash and harness but I do. The only time I'm allowed out of it is when Ran isn't cooking. Sure, I can move around the living room but it is what Chen says is restrained, which means I can move but I can't exactly do as I want. Damn! Sometimes, I try to get of my harness but Ran put the buckles on the back, along with the loop for the leash clasp. She never really did say why I have to be in this but I have to be and I think it has something to do with putting my hands in the food.

Either way, my wishes for my birthday is so I can go outside and not have to be in my harness.

* * *

"How did Yukari manage to trade a pair earrings for this place?"

 


	4. Earrings for an Apartment Building

It has been a little while and Huzi still cannot fathom as to how Yukari managed to trade a pair of earrings for ownership of this place and, honestly, I can't either but she did and they were really pretty earrings and they were  _rare_ but, then again, something had to be given in exchange for something and Ran notes it was either those or her wedding jewelry and Yukari would not have wanted Ran to give up her wedding jewelry. Of course, I am grateful Yukari gave up something as her own so we wouldn't have to but it still reminds me of the fact that she has resigned herself to playing the martyr. However, it is better that what she could have traded like one of the children (people have a habit of trading kids or whatever to get something) or she could have sold herself. Either way, something had to give.

I suppose sacrifice is good for modest luxury, after all, I would have traded anything valuable or useful to get something. Of course, that is the only sort of way we can survive in a post-apocalyptic anarchic society, as well as the fact we cannot really trust much of anyone besides those we are really close to. Every night, we load the guns, deadbolt the door, and keep are windows boarded up save a few small spaces here and there to put the gun tip and the grenades through because people might try to break in, never mind the fact that the landlady is right across the hall. However, Huzi was insistent, being that someone people had ambushed, beaten her up, and taken her shoes.

Either way, it didn't stop us from discussing it. "How did Yukari managed to trade a pair of earrings for this place?" Huzi asked, sipping a beer before passing it to me and then Suika.

Suika blinked her half lidded eyes and said, "Oh, I don't know, I guess her earrings were that damn special. Eh, uh, what'dya think, Kaguya?"

I blinked and answered, "Oh, I don't know. They must have been rare and someone wanted them and figured it was worth as much all of this."

"Rare?"

"Yes, Huzi, rare and they were."

"Yeah, yeah, either way somethin' had to give."

"Yeah, I suppose but earrings for an apar'ment building?"

"Well, it was either Ran's wedding jewelry, one or two of the kids, or Yukari offer herself and we all know for a fact that she wasn't going to give any of those things, especially the children, as the thought of selling or trading them off she finds appalling, so she gave her earrings."

"She could have traded that shawl."

"Mmm, I doubt a shawl is something someone could have possibly wanted."

"Yeah, Huzi."

"Well, Yuyuko traded a rat and some of her cooking for some fancy-shmancy stuff to put in her apartment."

"Yeah, well, people need and like food and good food is rare, as we are still reduced to ratburgers and dead stuff, like motorcycle kill."

"Yeah, and we've had to steal our stuff."

"But we don't have anything in which to barter, besides precious mementos."

"Yeah, well, we best keep those."

"Yuh-huh."

"But still, how on earth does a pair of earrings make for goods and successfuls trade?"

"I'm not really sure on that, Huzi."

"I guess the person who offered the trade thought the earrings were that valuable."

* * *

"Alright, children, time to arise and look at the sunshine."

 


	5. Interesting Day

Every morning, almost at the crack of dawn, Ren wakes us up. At least, he doesn't a can and a ladle but he does clap his hands. He always wakes us up just when breakfast starts and then he goes down the hall, to the door at the end, to wake up Yukari, who sleeps on the second level in this apartment in two-story room. If I had it my way, I would sleep the rest of the day but he and Ran are so damn insistent. I tried not to wake up but he really wasn't fooled and picked me up and placed me in wheelchair anyway, saying, "You wouldn't wish to miss breakfast, would you? Of course not." He wheels me into the dining room so we can eat. Everyday, it is the same old thing, usually eggs and rat sausage, with a piece of apple. After breakfast, we start our lessons and when we are finished we go about business.

As we were about her business, Sakuya the brat decided to pitch to a fit and say, "I want to be a normal kid and do things normal kids do." Of course, it surprised us all. I blinked and said, "But, Sakuya, we are normal kids."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "No we're not!"

Reimu blinked and asked, "How?"

"I'll you tell you how! For one, we can't go to school and we are eating rat sausages, what is normal about that?"

"Lots of kids don't go to school and some kids don't eat anything."

"And some kids are traded for stuff."

"Yeah, well, I want to go to school and not eat ratburgers."

"I like ratburgers."

"Reimu, you eat anything in which it is you pick up, so ratburgers are not a far cry from that."

"Well-"

As we were talking, we found Ran standing over us, listening to everything we had said. She looked at Sakuya and said, "Something tells me you don't adjust too well to changes and that is why you've been acting the way you do but I say what I have to say. Listen, the reasons we don't take you to school are because there aren't that many and they all aren't very safe, along with the fact that you're not going to be learning too much of anything as the teachers are more like students, so, in simple terms, we don't as to better provide, and the reason we eat ratburgers or whatever is because that is what is available to us. Food is scarce and we have to make the most of it. I'm sorry if that is how you feel." After that, Ran left us alone and Sakuya cried. That shut her up for a while and she became much nicer.

* * *

"Reimu got out."

 


	6. Reimu Got Out

"Hewwo, Yuuka, have you seen Weimu?" was what Chen had greeted me with. Naturally, I was confused and told her Reimu should be inside, to which she said, "Weww, she's not." I wanted to ask Chen if she was sure, to which I refrained and figured something had to be wrong. Ducks very seldom let the kids out and is especially watchful over Reimu. I walked over to their apartment and asked, "What's happened?" to which Winston, responded, "Reimu got out." I was confused even more and asked, "How?" and he told me he didn't know. With the children on leashes, Ducks searched the entire floor for the little dear, until she came to a conclusion that she had gone down the stairs, somehow. Crumbs! She was always a persistent child and seemed to be determined to go somewhere but, where to? Probably outside, I'm sure, as they very seldom get to.

We went down the stairs, to the third floor. We haven't found her and continued looking until found her hair ribbon, leading for us to search for her further, taking us outside. We had found her in Suika's arms and promptly inquired, to which she said, "I told those motherfuckers I'd bury 'em if they ask me to trade Reimu for beers or visa versa, whatever the hell, so I beat the living shit out of 'em and took Reimu back and I got free beer." I asked what it was she was doing outside, to which Suika said, "Oh lay off of my ass, will ya? I was watching her every move and she just simply had a little fun was all, like eating a millipede, dodging bullets in a gunfight, tripping a landmine, petting dogs, chasing a butterfly, and then having some motherfuckers pick her up and told me if I wanted her back I was to trade her for beer, the end result of which is what you see now." Reimu seemed to be virtually unfazed but she was amused and was laughing enthusiastically about her little adventure. Needless to say, Ducks wasn't and asked if she should keep Reimu tied to her apron strings.

* * *

"Koishi, my little sister, you're injured!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are curious as to why Chen sounds like Elmer Fudd it is because she has speech impediment that come from brain damage (which left her unable speak, up until a certain point in time) during the events of Gensokyo 20XXIV and the reason as to why we don't read her speaking like that during the previous chapter in which she narrates, it is because she is talking from her POV, ergo, to her she sounds normal, whereas to us, and the others she sounds like that. If you have any questions, feel free to PM and I will get back to you.
> 
> -Amoridere


	7. Contemplations I: Suffering or Mercy

Sometimes, Koishi wanders about the place but, this time, she came home and, as she wrapped her arms around me, I had noticed she was bleeding. She collapsed in my arms and I hurried her over to Kaguya. It was over three hours and Kaguya came out with a somber look on her face. She summoned everyone else into the hall and said, "I am sorry I have disturbed you all at such short notice but I am sad to inform you that I have done all I really could and it may be a matter of time before Koishi passes away and it hard to say how long she will survive." I was in tears and sobbed hysterically, before bringing her back to my apartment and letting her sleep in her bed. I closed the curtains and turned off the lights. She never could arise out of bed and I had given her the painkillers Kaguya has prescribed.

As I had given her those painkillers, I started to feel horrible. She was already dying and I had selfishly been trying to end her life sooner because I couldn't take it. I was murdering my sister and, as a result, I was murdering myself. After that, I stop giving her the pills, leaving her to suffer in pain. I couldn't bear to watch her suffer but, at the same time, I couldn't face the thought of killing my sister. She was my only family, the only thing I have left, and if she died, then I'll be alone but to allow her to live in this state would be allowing her to suffer.

I knew not really what to do. Should I let her suffer or should I take her life as an act of mercy?

* * *

"Still blind?"

"Yes, dumbass."


	8. The Musings of a Blind Hermit

My sight has yet to return and I have been like this for quite some time. As far as I know, medicine in these times are far from perfect, so I haven't sought out any sort of treatment for my blindness. At least, I don't live alone, as I am roommates with Kosuzu, Tenshie, and Kisume, so life with blindness isn't all that difficult, not for me anyway. I live rather comfortably, doing things like embroidering or cleaning, neither of which are very hard to do, or listening to records on the record player. If I need some errands run, then I'll Kisume out for it, as Kosuzu's a little girl and Tenshie is usually busy with her own things, whatever the hell they are. On a note, I am curious as to see what everyone else is up to but, on the other hand, I am not too familiar with this floor or anything that isn't this apartment. I suppose, one day, I will familiarize myself with outside.

Well, surprise, surprise, Chen came over to invite me to dinner.

* * *

"Oh, you've invited someone for dinner. Chen, sweetheart, you have to remember to tell someone you're inviting someone for dinner."


	9. Miko's Visit

Surprises most certainly come and they certainly had as Chen had invited someone for dinner, greeting us with a, "Hey guys, I invited someone ovew fow dinnew!" To much surprise it was Miko and we haven't seen her very much since she had first moved in. Of course, I do wish Chen had told us we were going to have someone over for dinner. Nevertheless, we welcomed her, happy to have a visitor. She had been quiet, only asking about our affairs, speaking seldom of her own, except that she normally doesn't get out much, to which Reimu naturally said, "Neither do I, except that one time." It prompted Miko to strike up a conversation with her and it seemed to be rather interesting, especially since Reimu thought it be fit to converse with her eyes closed.

As the two were talking, Chen, being a tad inappropriate, asked, "Hey, Miko, do you want to heaw about the time Wan and Wen did the two-beast?" Ran shot a glance at her said, "No, Chen, no one wants to hear about that!" She waved her off and continued on her with story before I cut her off saying, "Chen, we've talked about you making inappropriate dinner conversation." Miko blinked and said, "No need to tell me, I am all too familiar with that story, as I could hear it from four doors away." Ran and Ren were easily embarrassed and asked to pardon themselves, Miko reassuring them, "No need to be embarrassed, you're in love and it was after you two were wedded."

As the night dragged on, she did ask to stay, saying she and Reimu had much to talk about. We agreed she was to stay the night but she'll have to share with the children, not that she or they really minded. She told them stories and talked with them. She left the next day, promising to visit again, stating she enjoyed her visit."

* * *

"Nitori, Nitori! What're ya doin' in there?"


	10. Nitori's Project

So far, since we moved in, I have always been scrounging up useful parts to create things that I hope to be of some aid. As of recently, I have been making Chen a new wheelchair, so she can get around better and not have to be cooped up indoors when Ran does go out with the children. She would be so happy and I am almost finished with it. I know Ran wouldn't mind as a going outside could be good for her, as being cooped up seemed to have driven a few of them crazy. Hopefully, she's overcome her fear of going outside but, then again, she probably had, being that she had gone outside without panicking. Of course, I also remembered that people don't hesitate to attack those in wheelchairs, so I made it with defense mechanisms to protect her, all while being disguised as a simple wheelchair, albeit one that can travel by stairs, as well as fly.

I have worked countless days on it before finishing it and Chen was static, happy that she could go outside with Ran for every once in a while, as well as the fact that her wheelchair allowed her to go down the stairs.

* * *

"I want outside!"

"Weimu, you know fow a fact that she isn't going to wet you outside, not aftew that one time."

 


	11. The Way Things Are

I still want to go outside but I think I pissed Ran off, though, because of my little adventure. Suika didn't seem mad and told them I had fun and I did. Hmmph! I just want to play outside and that isn't a lot to ask, not for me, and outside was interesting. I'm not even allowed in the hall. I never did really ask why because "That is no good, Reimu, you have to mind what Ran says." Either way, I am going outside whether she likes that or not. Of course, the others might want to go outside, too.

I do remember telling Chen what I wanted to go outside and she said, "Weimu, you know fow a fact that she isn't going to wet you outside, not aftew that one time." Sakuya yawned and said, "Yeah, especially." I was upset and asked, "So?!"

"Weww, Wan says it is to keep us safe."

"Uh-huh."

"Didn't you guys ever want to go outside ONCE?!"

"Yeah, but Ran says we have to stay inside so something bad won't happen to us."

"Yes, that is why we have to stay inside and, if we had it any othew way, then we couwd go outside. It's just the way things awe. "

"Okay, then how come you guys don't have to be on a harness like I do when Ran cooks or are allowed to do things I am not allowed to do? 'xplain that!"

"It's just the way things are."

I don't like the way things are and just because they're the way things are doesn't make 'em right! Ran is wrong and I want to go outside but she always say no. Anywho, I wanted to do what I wanted to do and I did it. Of course, I broke a window and Ran got mad. She looked at me then the window than back at me and said, "Well, this is a first and I am rather surprised that YOU broke the window this time, rather than two drunks and a meth addict or a bird." She huffed and said, "Okay, I see how this goes. You decided to raise a bit of hell by breaking a window because you wanted to go outside. I know you do but I cannot allow you all outside to play because we love you and we don't want to see something unfavorable occur. When you're older and can protect yourselves, then then, maybe, but until then, you play inside and in the hallways. About the harness, well, I put you in that because I love you and I can't having you putting your hands into hot food. "

She sent me away, saying, "And, no, I wasn't mad when you got out."

* * *

"Alright, what do you want? I don't have all day."


	12. Landlady Yukari

Since I purchased the apartments with my earrings, I find myself being busier than usual, especially when dealing with tenants or trying to offer soiled doves a new life, as well as refuge, which in turn has the side-effects of taking up most of my time. Of course, I have to endure this as I am the one who chose to trade my amethyst earrings for this place. To a certain degree, I am seen as a person of high status, a person to be respected. When I enter the scene, people are quick to clear the path and drop everything. I cannot really say I am exactly proud of that, especially since madams are treated in a similar manner that I am. Honestly, I cannot seem to understand exactly what is so special about being a madam.

Every other day, I get tenants that often ask me to move in, trading whatever. Sometimes, I have to remind them of my policies in regards to trades in exchange for housing. When I am not doing anything, I am sitting in the lobby, putting my skewed white hair in a braid or checking records, smoking or adjusting my glasses in the process. Recently, I have acquired some bit of companionship in the form of a pug-PUG!-, who's taken up residence in my lobby, after I've unsuccessfully tried to be rid of it. Hopefully, Ran and Ren won't mind it, being kitsunes. At least, I have some company when I handle my landlady's business, so that does ease it up, though there is the problem of poop and pee that I gap away at every chance.

Sometimes, though, I wish it were easier but I guess I shall make do, as I am the one who traded my earrings for this place.

* * *

"Ran, dearest, you should rest."

"Can't, I've been up for approximately 101 hours."

"Indigo Flower, have you eaten or slept between those hours?"

"No."

"Okay, then you might want to eat first then go to bed, I'll take over things for you."

"But-"

"Now, now, time for dinner and then bedtime."


	13. Ren Keeps House

Sometimes, I worry about Ran, my beloved indigo flower, especially when she runs herself ragged. Naturally, upon having been told she hasn't eaten or slept in 101 hours, I insisted she eat something and then go to bed. She protested by quickly gave it up, as I was adamant she eat and sleep. After that, I took over, not that they minded, though Chen did take the time out to inform me of a list of Ran's chores, a few of which involve changing diapers and making sure no one drinks the milk in the fridge. Of course, that was always a chore because that really isn't milk someone who aren't fox pups should be drinking, as that is fox milk. To quell that problem, I put labels on them, explicitly marked  ** _"DON'T DRINK!"._**  However, I had to keep Reimu out of the kitchen while I cook and I knew getting her into that harness wasn't going to be without a fight, so I quelled that problem by going out to get a baby gate to put in the kitchen doorway, though that wasn't without me losing my shoes. At least, she can't climb over it, as her legs have limited functionality, though that didn't stop her from shaking it.

After the children ate, diapers were changed, and lessons were taught, I went about keeping the apartment clean, making beds, sweeping and mopping the floor, and doing almost everything Ran does, I found myself exhausted by the time it was bedtime. Hopefully, Ran is actually well rested and will have a normal sleep cycle as well as meal cycle. In thinking of her, I remembered I had forgotten to eat.

* * *

_***BOOOOOM!*** _

"What in blood hell was that?!"


	14. Contemplations II: Koishi's Death

I awoke to the early morning to a terrific thundering sound and then the sound something crashing. I blinked and initially thought Flannie had blown up another door but, as to be expected, it was Huzi making crystal meth. Of all things, why couldn't she have been a booze hound. Of course, Huzi seemed to have been looking for something to make her forget that event where she's had her shoes taken from her, so she's taken to becoming a meth addict. In these times, drugs and things run rampant and are much, much easier to obtain and there really isn't much that can be said or done. Many has resorted to...unethical methods to get what they need or want. Saddening really, but we all have to satisfy our thrills and get what we need. No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Times may be difficult but I suppose it would be good to look on the bright side, even if it be rubbish.

On a more honest note, Yuyuko has taken to owning a tavern, where she can serve booze and food. Naturally, people trade her anything to get food and or booze, explaining why it is she has such nice things. As for us, she is quick to give us things free of exchange. If she isn't doing things in her tavern, the which she runs either within her own flat or somewhere within the lower levels, she is a seamstress and she's made most of her clothes herself. Having a tavern and being a seamstress is much more honest than manufacturing drugs. As aforementioned, there isn't much of any rest for the wicked. However, on Huzi's note, I do hope she intends to sober up.

After being arose from my slumber in a rather impolite way, I stumbled out of bed and, whilst still in my bedclothes, I cautiously opened my door and peered down the hall, where I had seen Huzi thrown up across it. As aforementioned, I was not surprised by this as she, Kaguya, and Suika had a habit of playing rather foolish games that involved trying to swing into a window, so a meth-lab explosion isn't too far outside of that particular realm. After looking at her in befuddled confusion and amusement and watching her get up, I had gone back into my flat and went back to bed. I concluded on staying there for a while, as the excitement has tired me out.

* * *

"Shister..."

 


	15. Innocence and Lunacy: What is "Hurt"?

It had been a little while since Koishi had passed away and we, save Satori, are we recovering from such a tragic loss. However, I would find myself having to confront something from the past. That ability, that instinct, to respond to pain was removed from her, leaving her open to severe injuries, as well as self-harm. Naturally, this was cause for alarm as she often caused herself injury with any sharp implement, so we often make sure there aren't any within reach. However, that became more of a chore when we discovered our window was broken again. One of these days, Yukari will have Mokou's ass on that.

On the morning we discovered our window broken, we had noticed the glass on the floor but, along with it, we had noticed Reimu reaching for it. Reaching for her, Ren tried to intervene, saying, "Reimu, stop, you'll hurt yourself." She picked it up anyway, the glass pieces going into her hand, but that wasn't without giving him a rather confused look, before asking, "What's 'hurt'?" We didn't know how to or what to give, if not show, her an answer. Something in her mind didn't register what "hurt" was or even the fact that she was injured from the glass pieces sticking out of her clenched hand. With silence, I removed her from the glass and carried her to the bathroom so her wounds could be treated.

She wouldn't stop asking what "hurt" was and we tried to ignore it but that put us at a disadvantage as she's turned to self-harm. We couldn't answer because she wouldn't be able to make sense of it and the fact that it could potentially sever any sorts of bonds we have with her, as well as the fact it worsen any mental problems she has. However, in denying her the answer she wanted, we opened the gateway to self-harm. If we denied her that, then she will take to harming someone else, as we denied her harming herself. Ultimately, we were forced to isolate her, something she absolutely despised and gave noisy and violent protest to. She was giving us hell over a question we cannot answer. Deep within, the truth was torturing us as well, especially Yukari because of very much she knew.

After some time, she realized we weren't going to tell her so she stopped asking and allowed her wounds to heal. She went back to the way she was, with small periods of lunacy here and there. I expected it so, as she's gone through so much and her very innocence betrayed her. As for her and the rest of the children, we can only hope they won't fall victims to their own madness, the very madness that their innocence will have pushed them into. We can only hope to protect them but how much can we protect them from.

* * *

"Miss Satori?"

  
  



	16. Yet so Full of Pain

I went to check on Satori, after she hasn't been seen outside of her apartment for in a while. Alas, I had found her but I had found her despondent and insane, driven mad by her own grief. Naturally, I figured a bit of company could be good for her, as she's spent most of her time alone. When she saw me, she mustered enough sanity to say, "Oh, hello, Ren, I didn't know you were visiting." With Koishi passed away, she has been nothing but alone and withdrawn, something Koishi wouldn't have wanted. In trying to reach out, I invited her over to eat with us, something she was rather shocked at but did accept.

Straightening herself up, she got out of her chair and weakly took my hand, allowing me to lead her back to our apartment. She took her seat amongst the children and quietly ate. It seemed they didn't really notice her, save Reimu, who seemed happy that she was there. Without any sort of hesitance and while holding onto the table, she made her way over to Satori, humming a little tune. The tune in question was song that isn't of any comprehensible language, something that we dubbed, "Reimu's Lullaby", and she was humming it.

When she was fairly close to Satori, she walked over a few steps, before falling over. Initially, we thought to help her up but something within us kept us restrained. With struggle, she managed to pick herself up, uttering only gibberish or something rather close to baby talk, the very language she was speaking up until she had finally regained comprehensive speech. It took us about a few minutes to realize that she was aware of Satori's abilities to read minds, so it would make sense as to why she would revert back to her primitive language. Naturally, Satori broke into tears, hurrying over towards her to cradle her in her arms. By observation, we knew Reimu merely wanted to comfort her of her grief for someone either of them missed.

If I remember, Koishi was also Reimu's playmate, someone she loved, just like she did everyone else. She may not have understood death but she did understand, to a certain degree, the pain of someone loved not being there anymore or at least seem to. Both suffering from lunacy and yet so full of pain. Life is funny that way, especially when it gives and takes away so much, bringing joy, as well as suffering within its wake. It's even funnier that when something dies, something else can to live. In this case, when Satori was driven mad by her grief, a near maddened Reimu goes to comfort her. Even though she was indeed age-regressed, some part of her from before still remained.

Later on, afterwards, Satori later overcame her grief, like Koishi will have wanted, giving her spirit the peace needed to be at ease.

* * *

"Ah, helping Ran-mommie with her chores?"


	17. Helping Ran-Mommie with her Chores?

To much surprise, Chen decided to help me with my chores. It was as surprising as it was amusing, being that normally she is the one being helped, mostly with changing her diapers (something she can't do herself), but this time it is the other way around. She started off by handing me the dishes to wash and giving the rag in which to dry them off with. When I had gone down the hall to hang the clothes to dry, she carried a basket of sopping wet clothes and gave me the clothespins to hang them. She spent the entire day helping me with what it is I usually needed done. As she was helping me, I had realized she was doing so she could spend time with me, something that, due to circumstance, very seldom happens, so she decided she would spend time with me this way by doing something the other children will have dreaded doing (trying to get them to do something will elicit complaints).

That night, when I was tucking her in, she kissed me on the face, saying, "Goodnight, Ran-mommie."

* * *

" S'nae stay here?"

"Yes, sweetheart, Sanae stays here."


	18. Sakuya and Taddie

According to Ran, Sanae, or, as we call her,Tadpole ("Taddie" for short), was coming to stay with us because Suwako was going away for awhile and couldn't bring her with, so she left her with us and Pug (Yukari's dog, she stays upstairs sometimes). Sanae didn't really seem to care as she was very used to us and hasn't seen us in awhile. According to Suwako, she is two years old and weighs twenty pounds. She also left a list of things that she likes, doesn't like, and proper instructions on how to take care of her.

When Suwako left her with us, she didn't cry and was quiet at first but, then she laughed and ran around, wanting to play. Of course, she would run into walls and anyone she encountered. It seemed Taddie was full of energy and she didn't really seem to sit still for anything, except when watching intently at something, like Reimu or whatever was playing on television. Frankly, I don't like Taddie being here at all and she is so annoying, especially when she takes my rice crackers and eats 'em or pokes me in the eye.

One night, when Ren, Ran, Pug, and Yukari were asleep, I talked about Taddie to Chen, Maribel, Renko, Marisa, and Alice. "I want Taddie to go back to her apartment."

"Well, she can't, ze, because Suwako will be gone a long time." said Marisa, scratching at her dandelion hair

"Uh-huh, and, besides, it's fun having Tadpole around." said Maribel.

"It's not that bad having her around, it's just like a smaller Reimu." Renko said, yawning.

"And Suwako might not come back for a really long time." Alice said, falling asleep.

"Mmm, it'll be like having a little sister, even though I have more than a few." Chen said, opening her eyes for a second.

"Well, it's not!"

"Well, she has only been here for about a couple of days and we have to get used to her."

"Uh-huh, da ze..."

As I was falling asleep, Sanae, who seemed to be awake, walked over to me and kissed me on the eye. I guess living with Taddie won't be so bad after all.

* * *

"Not now, Remilia."

"You should really stop it with those."

"Oh no, of course not, Remilia, I want to be fancy like Yukari and fancy people smoke."

 


	19. An Outsider's View

There is something for the like of me I cannot grasp and that would be why smoking such nauseous things would be glamorous. Yukari only smokes those things out of stress of being landlady, which typical involves having to deal with crummy tenants and the fact that she is trying her very hardest to provide. To an outsider's view, Yukari is posh and that is only because she owns an apartment building. Of course, in these times, I see why that would be considered posh or something of the sort but I don't think cigarettes would considered apart of that, then again, they are a commodity, that people either trade things or fight for and Flandre is impressionable, so, to a certain degree, I do see why it is she would think that. On the other hand, we share an apartment together and my human-turned youkai lungs cannot tolerate that nauseous smoke.

Every day, she smokes those things and even goes outside with them to smoke them in front of other people, who stare at her in awe, almost as if she were something alien. To me, she was being rather ridiculous but, to them, she was flaunting her wealth, showing them how fancy she was, just like that little girl in one of those old movies who used to flaunt her white fur coat or her curls. As I would watch her, I often wondered if I, too, had wealth in which to flaunt. Naturally, after living in modest luxury and being minus servants, I concluded that I preferred modest wealth to abundant wealth, so to me I am already flaunting it because I live in it.

As soon as the outsiders see Yukari, they drop everything and clear the path, almost as if she were a queen, not even giving her the slightest ounce of trouble. When they see Flandre smoke, they stare at her and watch her with awe. When they see Ran, they quickly run away, however, that is probably because she is a scarred kitsune and people reverted back to long thought to be vanished superstitious beliefs relating to either of the two or it is because, she, like everyone else, won't hesitate to take a life if need be. On the other hand, they watch her with curiosity and fearful reverence. When they see Yuyuko, they run up to her begging for beer and burgers or calling her "Mama" or "Madame Saigyouji". When they see Yuuka, they look at her because of how pretty she looks in her makeup and the women envy her. When they see Satori, they cringe and be still, barely breathing and their faces white. When they see Kaguya, they quickly request her help.

Strangely, when they see Reimu, they look at her with the hostility of a rabid beast, almost as if they want her very existence to be erased from the world for reasons that say unsaid because she is Yukari's child and doing harm to her will bring about her wrath. It always puzzled me as to why they looked at her like that.  _"Why so much hostility towards a child?"_  I would always ask myself. I couldn't fathom it, as children are such innocent creatures and I, too, virtually am a child. Reimu hasn't done them any harm and yet they want her dead. I wonder if it has something do with the fact that she doesn't fear and approaches everything boldly. If it does, then that is really no reason to fear her, as she is very friendly and is more than willing to get along with and make friends with everyone and everything, not all looking to do harm. Rather, I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that she doesn't suffer and  _adores_  this world for what it is. If anything, her inability to fear is probably what helps her survive in this world but, at the same times, it maddens her.

* * *

"Now, now, Mother In-Law, you must have some time to rest, surely one day away from your duties wouldn't hurt."


	20. Yukari's Day Off

My dutiful son-in law strikes again and tells me I should rest and have a day away from work and that he'll handle it, knowing exactly what it is he is doing, after having observed what it is I do. When Ren is insistent on something, it is usually best to agree, not that there will be a problem, as he could convince even Ran to his point of view without much argument. For once, I agreed knowing he would persist if I didn't. Naturally, I didn't know how to spend this day, so I concluded on sleeping, until he came back into my room, saying, "Come on, you cannot spend most of your time asleep. Maybe interact with the children?" I shrugged but immediately figured it would make them happy, after all, I had been spending most of my time working.

I rubbed my eyes, braided my hair, threw on a dress and shawl, lumbered down the stairs, grabbed my basket of knitting supplies, and out of the door. I lumbered through the hall and into the living room. I made my way over to the couch, sat down, and found myself greeted by Sanae and Pug, the former of which promptly climbed into my lap, making herself comfortable, and the latter of which making her place at my feet. As to be expected, the children did indeed enjoy my presence, though Sanae was more inclined to follow me around.

We mostly spent the day together. Sleeping, eating, playing, laughing, watching movies, and whatever else we mostly do to pass time. After that day, I had remembered specifically to take days off from my duties.

* * *

"I betcha Ran's pregnant!"

"Okay, what is it you have to bet?"

"Fish crackers."

"Okay, deal."


	21. Fish Crackers

Ran-mommie seems to have put on weight, leading for Sakuya to think she is pregnant, again. Of course, I doubted what she said because Ran had babies not that long ago, so she couldn't be pregnant again but I let Sakuya have her way because I want fish crackers that Sakuya has stashed away. If Ran isn't pregnant, then I win and I get fish crackers and Sakuya has to change Taddie's diapers for a week and we all know Taddie's diapers are way stinkier than mine and Reimu's combined. Oh, this will be fun and I am going to enjoy every last bit of this.

Throughout the day, we followed Ran-mommie around, to try to get a look at her belly, bosoms, and bottom, to see if she had gotten rounder and wider. Of course, that was rather hard as she's always had bigger hips than Yukari-bāchan, as she is more or less kind of pear or hourglass, more or less both. After a little while of the day, we finally managed to get a good look at her and, as we were looking at her, she said, "Oh, I see what you two are doing. You're trying to see if I'm pregnant but I assure you I am not, actually, I just put on a little weight." She laughed and told us how funny she thought that was, saying it wasn't the first time.

Needless to say, I won the bet and Sakuya had to give up her fish crackers and change Taddie's diapers.

* * *

"Say what you will, Huzi, I am happy Yukari brought Reisin back for me, even if she be a child."

 


	22. Lunatic Friendship

I am thankful that Yukari sacrificed some of her strength to bend the borders of time to bring back Udonge for me. She couldn't bring back Eirin or Keine but she did do me a kindness by bringing back Udongein. She was rather cheerful but seemed to have a hitting problem, something I hoped wouldn't put her at odds with Reimu, who has similar issues. That didn't but she seemed to befriend her in that odd way. Of course, it was befitting that way in that Udongein was someone who can cause lunacy, something that Reimu is suffering from the early onsets of.

Naturally, the two made friends by hitting, only Reimu threw the first hit and Reisin responded. Reisin was kind of wild sort but a gaze into her eyes made her calm down and flop onto her stomach, resolving whatever conflict was there. The two spent about an hour looking at each other, their eyes never looking away from one another's. After looking at each other, being locked in some sort of stare-down, they went about their own business before engaging in playful behavior, Reisin, it seems found an equal.

If I were asked, I would say I find their lunatic friendship to be a curiosity.

* * *

"Uh, Wan-mommie, Weimu got out again and I don't think she came back wight."


	23. Rodenticide and Reimu: A Horrible Ordeal

To much dread, Reimu managed to get out and it was by the heavens that she didn't leave the apartment building, however, she did go somewhere and, to further upset, she had gotten into something she shouldn't, poisoning herself, as she wasn't acting quite herself and was found laying on her side, barely conscious. When we found her like that, we didn't know what to do, as that has never happened before but we knew for a fact that she wasn't going to survive if we didn't do  _something_  to purge whatever poison there was in her body and we had to act fast.

We were panicky because this was far different from the time with the flowers and said time didn't involve alarming symptoms, none like these. After we barely managed to arouse her, we had tried to get her vomit, something that couldn't be done, as we had later found out the poison managed to seep into her blood. Knowing that, we found it was beyond our control, so we took her over to Kaguya and begged her to help us. She sighed and said, "Since the poison is now in her blood, that is going to require extracting some of her blood to get it out but that won't be without losing blood, so she'll require blood to be placed into her afterwards."

For once, during a rather crucial moment, it seemed Reimu actually seemed to be afraid, to show fear, and asked, in shaking voice and as her eyes filled with tears, "Ran, am I dying?" I held her hand as a way of comforting her and she held on it so tightly. Right now this was a time of life and death and even the youngest of the children knew it. Not knowing what else to do and eliciting shock, I shouted, "Use my blood!" After almost leading to her death, I couldn't allow her to die and had to try something to save her. Kaguya's lip trembled and she said, "That may not be without killing her, as your blood is different from hers might be." I didn't care and disregarded what she said, saying, "Time is of the essence and there isn't much that can be done, as she could die en route to a hospital, which may not even know how to deal with what has happened, so why not take the risk?"

We were going back and forth, until Chen, holding out her arm, said, "Take my bwood, then, if Wan-mommie's won't wowk." Within about three, seconds, everyone held out their arms and asked for their blood to be taken, for Reimu's sake. Seeing no other way around it, she relented, extracted some of my blood, extracted some of Reimu's poisoned blood, and then transferred the blood that was to be placed into her body. Once the procedure was over, she said, "Let's leave it to fate, as there really isn't much more that can be done." As we had resigned ourselves to the possible worse, Mokou walked in, black rings under her eyes, and mentioned something about jar of rodenticide, mentioning that one of them was empty. Our eyes widened and it have become apparent that Reimu had consumed a jar of rat poison.

In hearing her, I asked her what kind to which she answered, "The one-dose kill kind. If there is more you wanna know, well, Yukari just evicted someone for that kind of rat poison and for not taking proper safety measures to prevent unfortunate things from happenin'." We became even more fearful in that Reimu had probably eaten more than enough to kill at least ten if not one hundred rats, so, even with the treatment, she could very well die. That place us at odds as to how we were going to break the news to Yukari, knowing that it would best to tell the truth, nothing else but nothing more. We brought her back to our apartment and rested her on the couch. It seems we didn't have to tell Yukari because she didn't come upstairs, only Pug did.

For over a few days, Reimu didn't awake but, through some miracle or another, pulled through. She didn't come back the same, though, she still didn't fear anything and still suffered from her mental problems. She was rather apathetic but then she slowly came back, only she seemed to have lost some of her sight, as she seemed not to be able to see very well, and suffered occasionally from seizures. According to Kaguya, she shouldn't be able to eat due to that but she could. Her recovery from the whole ordeal would be a long one but it was far better than her being dead.

In the meantime, Yukari decided to modify her policies again, especially in relation to rodenticide to prevent something like this from happening again. On the note of Kaguya, she was studying to make antidotes and medicines, something that could do good.

* * *

"Da ze!"


	24. Marisa and Reimu

It's kinda weird playing with Reimu, ever since that rat poison thing, then again, how on earth do I play with someone who usually has their eyes closed? According to Mommy, she can see but not very good, so, basically, she is pretty much blind. I wonder if Kaguya will make some medicine that will help her see again, then it won't be so weird playing with her. I think I can get used to it, as she is still Reimu, except she can't really see really well, though that never stops her from hitting us. I usually hit her back, something that she doesn't even give a, "Fuck off!" to. What the hell?

She would often walk around, touching things and faces. She still puts things in her mouth even 'cos she didn't learn the first time. Sometimes, she sniffs and hears new things, followin' em. However, that brought her into that room we usually don't go into because we can't stay quiet. Of course, today, Mommy was in there, like she normally is, but Reimu didn't know that and she went in there anyway. Mommy was surprised that Reimu was in there this time but didn't seem to mind, sayin', "Well, you'll see them anyway." She was showing her the new babies and she seemed to be happy, laughing a little. I guess she doesn't need to see with her eyes too much after all.

Maybe she sees in other ways and maybe it won't be so weird playing with her, after all. Actually, it is kinda nice.

* * *

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"Okay, I dare you to put on Ran's lipstick."


	25. Playing Dressup

Oh, I always like a good game of truth or dare, especially when it involves make up, like Ran's lipstick. Usually, Ran doesn't wear makeup, except she did that one time, when she and Ren got married, and she looked pretty. It was Chen that dared one of us to put on Ran's lipstick and it was me. I was so happy, to tell the truth. When Ran was in the kitchen and while Reimu was asleep, I snuck into their room, walked over to the dresser, and grabbed the lipstick container. I put it on the exact way that I have seen Ran do it. After putting on her lipstick I thought I would look prettier if I put on some more of her makeup and I did. Of course, I was caught doing that because Ran was standing right behind me.

She wasn't mad or anything but she did look at me and her eyes seem to much bigger than what they would be. She blinked and said, "I see you are playing dress up and truth or dare but at least ask me first." She walked out of the room. I at first I thought she would be mad but she wasn't. Apparently, she did this when she was young.

* * *

"What is that, Ren?"

"Canned food."

"Is it dog food again?"

"No, its regular food."

 


	26. Canned Food

I can't name the last time we have had canned food, as it had been so long and the cans from said canned food we use as cooking pots, well some of them anyway. Naturally, I thought it was really special to have something in a can that isn't dog food, even if most of it is bread and some kind of meat. The children, on the other hand, we delighted and Reimu just wanted to chew on the cans. Of all the cans, only one of them was dog food and that was for Pug, of course, though that didn't seem to stop me from tasting it to figure out what kind it was.

In having this canned food, we thought to ration them, as we didn't really have that many and these are hard to come by. For once, we at something besides ratburgers and dog food.

* * *

"Now, now, Youmu, you'll like the other children and you do need someone to play with."


	27. Youmu

Youmu, someone we haven't seen in a while, came over to spend a little while with us. Yuyuko has been busy lately, so Youmu has to stay with us. When we had seen her, her first thought was to hide, as she was apparently very shy. Yuyuko bid us good-bee or something, saying she'll visit us soon. After hiding, she cried but then became more willing to play with us, happily joining us. According Ran-mommie, she's happy that she has someone to play with and is happy to be around other kids.

If she wasn't playing with us, she was napping or hiding or watching whatever we watching, sometimes trying to eat the tapes (she thinks they're chocolate bars for some reason). More often than not, we found her looking out of the window, content. I think having Youmu around is nice.

* * *

"Oh great, Huzi's doing that again!"

 


	28. Punting

Once again, Huzi went back to punting the crap out of people like that angry homeless guy from those short film on that thingy. The only thing she couldn't really punt was Ran but that didn't seem to stop her. I guess some things are just too heavy to punt as Ran put on weight. Either way, Ran was pissed, picked her up, carried her into Sattie's apartment, opened the window, and punted her through it. Of course, this isn't the first time she punted anyone, as she's done this before with Kaguya, every chance she's got and that one time she punted Cirno across the Field of the Sun.

Yesterday, she punted Ren across the street for no reason at all and, today, she punted Cirno into a building. Maybe it has something do with the new stuff she's been trying, like this stuff called coke. Yeah, some people just shouldn't do that. Of course, she stopped punting everything after Ran punted her again, except that was across town.

* * *

"Through these cloudy eyes of mine..."


	29. Through These Cloudy Eyes of Mine

"Through these cloudy eyes of mine, I see the sunny sky and the pretty flowers

I see the world, as only I see

Even if it is really cloudy

It's still bright and sunny to mee~!

Even if I can barely see your face, it's okay

I still love you anyway

I love the world even through these cloudy eyes of mine~!"

* * *

"Outside!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya there again, readers. If you are curious about this particular chapter, it is Reimu singing a little song that she's managed to compose, explaining the poem like format with the quotes. Naturally, I wrote this basically so we could get into her head a bit more in terms of her newfound visual impairments. If you are curious as to who she is singing it to, well, it would be prompt assumption she is singing that to whoever will hear.


	30. Outside, Without being Outside

For someone who sleeps and doesn't talk very often, Reimu seems to be pretty good at expressing her thoughts and, this time, she, like Porwigle and Youmu, wanted to go outside. She seemed to be rather insistent and I expected this so because she was endlessly curious, doubly so, since she her vision isn't very good. Of course, we couldn't let them outside because of the dangers and we've already had too close a call with the rat poison incident. Naturally, I started to ponder a way in which they could be let outside but at the same time be kept safe. Surely, there must be a spot in the apartment building where we can take the children to play outside.

In thinking, I realized we did have a spot somewhere on the roof, a platform of some sort, where the wall was rather high, too high for any child to attempt to climb it, and where it was rather sheltered, mesh screens, as well as protected having a chain-link fence right over the mesh screens. Surely, Ran, Winston, and Yukari won't mind and the children will have liked it. With Ducks' permission, I brought them to this area and, for once, they seemed sated, happily playing.

* * *

_Hmm, I wonder what sounds like that?_


	31. Music Box

Even though the world is cloudy and somewhat dark, I still know where things are and I do go them. Of course, I also go to whatever sounds, tastes, smells, or feels interesting. I like new sounds, tastes, and smells and touching, feel, new things. It's almost like seeing, only without my eyes. I guess this is how Chen was when she couldn't see, only, 'ccording to her, she didn't put things in her mouth.

Today, I heard something interesting and I decided to follow it, where it came from. Hearing it made my cloudy eyes sparkle, as I could feel 'em. It was a new sound, so I went to the sound. I wanted to find what was making the interesting sound and get to know what it was. Hopefully, Ran won't mind, though she usually tends to keep me in the apartment. Feeling around and listening, I made it to the door and then I opened it. I listened for the sound and spent all day looking for it, until I came into someone else's apartment. It was where the sound was. I felt around until I felt something interesting. Didn't know what it was, until I heard someone's voice. It was Miko's and she said, "I see you've come to visit and, Reimu, you're touching a music box."

She picked me up and told me how a music box works. I thought it was interesting.

* * *

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8..."

 


	32. Sakuya, Math Games, and Seeing Reimu

According to Ran, we have been getting very good at mathematics and counting. Of course, we have, as she is a rather stern teacher, who is really good at math. Sometimes, we would play little counting games, usually involving multiplication. However, we really couldn't guess what 6x20 was and Ran stated that we really wouldn't know as we are too young to know but she did explain she would teach us that when we were older. Weirdly, Reimu knew and she sleeps a lot. Apparently, she counts in her sleep and the answer to 6x20 was 120.

Sometimes, we would sit down after our math lessons and try to count to 198. She encouraged us to do that, as it helped to learn. When we got stuck, we had to try to figure that out, the missing number. When I did find it out, someone else would yell it out. I always hated that, especially when sleepyhead Reimu, Taddie, or Muh said it, and that is mostly because Reimu sleeps a lot and is barely even awake for our lessons, also the fact that she cannot even see, and Taddie and Muh are like two years old and they don't even know anything 'bout math! Of course, Ran always tells me that we all start learning as babies and that Sleepblind doesn't need to see in order to learn.

I let the Taddie and Muh thing go but I told Sleepyblind that she won't have any teeth if she continues yelling out my answers. She remembered to give me knuckle sandwich for that, saying, "If you care so much about me yelling out 'your' answers, then yell them out before I can say anything." I remembered not to hit her back because she would throw something at me and they would have my ass for that. When we started a multiplication game, Sleepyblind still yelled them out. I remembered to bring that to Ran.

When I did, she said, "Well, Sakuya, sweetheart, Reimu simply wants to play, too, after all, it is a game for everyone to play, and you shouldn't really be upset with her for yelling out your answers because you didn't say them. Yes, it frustrates you, of course it would, but, listen, as you know, she cannot see very well and is old enough to know how different she is from everyone else, something she doesn't want to be reminded of. Think about it, how would you feel if you were reminded of being different from everyone else? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like it, would you?"

"No."

"See? You wouldn't and that is how Reimu feels to some degree. Look, there's Chen. We know she requires a wheelchair to get around but we see her, Chen, not her wheelchair. Yes, Reimu has poor sight, of course, but we must learn to see her, Reimu, and not her blindness. Now, I'm not saying it was right for her to call out your answer and neither was it wrong but it is her way of saying she learns just the way you do and she only wanted to play along with everyone."

After that, I realized I shouldn't have been mad at her and that I should probably try seeing Reimu instead of Sleepyblind.

* * *

"Son-in law?"

"Yes?"

"You never told us you have had relatives and they are here to see you."

 


	33. Ren's Relatives

To my surprise, my relatives decided to seek me out. I haven't seen them in a while and I cannot really say that I have missed them (save my really old father, as I have very fond memories of him) , due my being the runt. At the same time, I am also surprised to know they are still around. Naturally, whatever sort of annoyance I have with them I managed to shove aside and maintain patience, being polite enough to greet them, introducing them to mother-in-law, saying, "Well, I see you have met Mother-In Law, Yukari, and she is a very kind and wise lady. She's also the landlady and you aren't allowed to trade certain things to live here."

I allowed them to follow me back to the apartment. Of course, the door was open and Reimu was sitting in the hallway, her nose to the air. She was sniffing, having detected a new scents. Opening her dimish eyes, she turned to us, saying, "Hi." She managed to get to her feet and walk over to us, before flopping down on her rear end with a resounding thud.

Petting her on the head, I said, "This is Reimu. She is terribly sweet but she is also crippled and near blind, as well as having a few quirks and 'interesting' is her favorite word. She usually sleeps a lot, though, this time, she is awake" Sniffing, she turned to my relatives and said, "You smell interesting, especially, you and you!" She pointed to my fat brother, Shibo, and then my sister, Kinko. Kinko usually smelled like flowers and Shibo, apparently, smells like he sleeps in pee and gym socks. Either way, Reimu thought they smelled rather interesting but, then again, she thought anything she hasn't smelled before to be interesting.

Picking Reimu up, I lead my relatives back into the apartment, introducing them to the children one by one. I gestured towards Chen, who was sleeping in her wheelchair, saying," That's Chen, she's really funny, mouthy, playful, but really nice and sweet. She can't walk and needs wheelchair to get around." Chen briefly awoke, yawned, and went back to sleep, but that wasn't without her waving.

I gestured towards Marisa, who was picking her nose (again) saying, "That one is Marisa and she's adopted. She used to be human and we've had her since she was two or three. She is also really funny, kind, tomboyish, and can be pretty shy." Marisa stopped picking her nose and ran into the kitchen, apparently, after noticing my relatives.

Pointing towards Taddie, I said, "She's Sanae and she is two, though, we usually call her 'Tadpole' or 'Taddie' for short. She is very energetic, cheerful, and likes everyone and everything. We are looking after her whilst her guardian, Miss Suwako, is away." Taddie ran over to us, saying, " 'tato chip!"

Nodding my head towards Sakuya, I said, "The silver-haired one is Sakuya and, well, she is kind of spoiled but she tends to very nice and she likes having her hair curled and various other things." Sakuya crossed her arms and said, "I'm also the biggest and the oldest!"

I nodded my head towards Maribel and Renko, saying, "Those two are Maribel and Renko. Both are timid but, at the same time, are more than willing to talk if they have the chance. They usually like anything new." Seeing us made them both giggle and shake with bliss.

I pointed two fingers at Yume Ni and Anohana, saying, "Those are our two little ones, Yume Ni and Anohana and they are two and four. Yume Ni needs glasses to see because she is nearsighted and she reads a lot, and Anohana sleeps a lot and plays with Reimu, though most of the playing involves leading her around." Anohana awoke briefly to sneeze and Yume Ni, not looking up from her book, waved her ears. 

I pointed one of my tails at Alice, saying, "Oh, that one is Alice. She likes dolls and playing pretend, having an active imagination." Alice stopped playing with her doll, walked over, and curtseyed, before going back to what she was doing. I pointed another one of my tails at Youmu, saying, "That is Youmu and we're looking after her for Miss Yuyuko. She is like a cuddlebug and usually says 'Muh', so that is her nickname because that is all she usually says." Youmu naturally looked at us and asked, "Muh?"

I thusly explained that there were other children but they are very little and we would like to keep them in a rather stable enviroment and that we'll let them out of it when they are ready. After that, they inquired on whether or not I was married, to which I responded, "Yes, actually, and she isn't that far away." Blinking her sleepy eyes and as Marisa clung to her, she walked out of the kitchen, smiled sweetly, and, while bowing, said, "Hello there, you must be Ren's siblings and his father, I am Ran, his wife." Naturally, my father said, "She's pretty and quite a lady." She thanked my father for the compliment and excused herself to go and rest.

As to be expected, my father went right to arguing with my oldest brother Baka. According to the argument, Baka didn't marry or, otherwise, meet what my father called a respectable girl and that he picked paintbrush-like ("paintbrush" in that she was really thin aside from her tail), selfish, greedy, foul-tongued, and bitchy kitsune, who eats almost all of their food and allows him to pretty much starve, while she tries to fill out her paintbrush like figure, while I had picked a kind, caring, gentle, sweethearted, be it fragile, full-figured kitsune to marry, someone he calls a respectable girl. Of course, he did state that if Baka was going to fall in love with a paintbrush, then at least marry a nice one.

To be honest, I found the argument to be amusing, as did the children, Marisa saying, "Baka married a paintbrush! Baka married a paintbrush!" I never really did think about why he was named that but, then again, that was the only thing he seemed to respond to so the name stuck, though I often wondered if it had something to with the fact he doesn't seem to be very finally finished their argument, after climbed into my father's lap, making herself comfortable there.

They opted to stay for dinner, something naturally we didn't veto. We caught up on what each other has missed and had an overall pleasant conversation.

By the end of the day, it felt good to see my relatives and I do hope they intend to visit soon.

(^_^)

* * *

"You dumbass, I told you NOT to leave to the door open."


	34. Dammit Reimu!

Dammit! I told 'em not to leave the door open but only Kaguya seemed to remember and Huzi was too incoherant to even think. As I can see, that lead to one thing and that involved Reimu drinking something out of one of the bottles, though at least she sniffed it first, and reverted her to a toddler, though at least she could still talk, actually, the first thing she said was, "Shit! Well, I fucked up again." Of course, she weren't the only one to drink that, 'cause Maribel, Renko, Marisa, and Alice drank it, too, the only difference being was that they only drank it because it looked sodie pop, which it actually does. All five of them could talk and did, though what they said when they glanced at Reimu was , "Dammit Reimu!"

When I showed 'em to Ran, her natural response was, "Let me guess, they got into something they shouldn't."

I blinked and answered, "Yeah."

"Mmmkay, I would like to the know the story then."

"Well, it went like this. Reimu came in here and Mokou didn't leave the closet door shut and, since we all know Reimu can't see she sniffed it and thought about drinking it to taste and it ended it with that. As for the other kids they thought it was sodie pop. They can still talk and Reimu is still blind and crippled but she can talk, too.

"Is there an antidote?"

"Dunno."

"Okay, where's Kaguya."

"Uh, dunno either."

"Okay, then, tell her if there is no antidote or, rather, if she didn't come up with one, tell her to kick Mokou's ass."

"Why?"

" 'Cause Mokou shouldn't be a stoner."

"Okay."

* * *

"Okay, um, hmm, what'll we do? 'Cause they're toddlers again."

"Well, they still maintain their intelligence and their mannerisms, meaning not everything was age-regressed, so I guess we treat them more or less like regular toddlers."

 


	35. Upsets and Curiousity

Well, we were left with more toddlers but, fortunately, they retained their intelligence and their much older child mannerisms, so we pretty much treated them more or less like toddlers, except Reimu, who, despite her age-regression age before being five or six and half, was already like that from the start, in that she does put things in her mouth, regardless if she knows it is edible or not, and is even more prone to doing so, as she is near blind, so she relies on other senses to explore. Either way, need this be said, that doesn't make it right.

However, in light of the incident, she seemed to catch on that everyone else, save Sakuya (who is indifferent), Chen, myself, the littler ones and Ren, were mad at her. Usually, when awake, she is very playful and outgoing, smiling almost all of the time, but this time she didn't seem to be, rather, she wanted to be left alone or mostly restricted herself to be being near Chen. If not in the apartment, she would go about sniffing or listening, trying the find the source of an "interesting" smell or sound, doing something that didn't involve anyone else. All the same, they seemed to exclude her, too. Ren did note he is rather surprised to see that Reimu isn't resorting to hitting or biting like she normally would when frustrated or wanting attention.

On the note of the others, they very much behaved like they will have if they were older, seemingly content minus Reimu. They played together and did almost everything together, leaving me to wonder if they have somehow managed to grasp the concept of cliques. In either of the two cases, I wasn't sure if whether or not to intervene.

After some time, about 72.5 hours and eighteen minutes, Chen was fed up and caught both of their attention, saying, "Okay, so you guys awe pissed at each othew, I get that, that's coow, except I wiked it bettew when you wouwd pway togethew." She was as fed up and I was wondering on what to say or do when listening to her, though Ren advised not to intervene, stating, "Its best we let them sort it out themselves."

Naturally, they were confused and asked her to elaborate, to which she said, "You guys used to pway togethew befowe that one time and, now, you won't because of that one time. Okay, that isn't fiwst time twoubwe happened and you guys chose to dwink it youwsewves because you thought it was soda and Weimu onwy dwank it to figuwe out what it was because she can't see. I can name pwenty of times you guys did something just 'cause you wewe cuwious. Mawisa, you put something in youw nose just because you wanted to see if you couwd stiww smeww if you did, once, and we had to fawm it out Wan, and that wasn't the fiwst time, eithew, a as mattew of fact, she towd you to stop putting things in youw nose. Mawibew, I wemembew when you got into Wen's toows and busted howes in the waww. Awice, thewe was that one time at Winnosuke's whewe you wanted to see how the tewevision wowked, fwom inside to out. Wwen, thewe was that one time you thought Wan waid eggs and twied to find out  _exactwy_  whewe they came fwom. Eithew way, you did something just 'cause you wewe cuwious and decided to act on it and none of us got pissed at you fow it, though Wan was annoyed that you twied that, Wenko."

They looked at each other and asked where Reimu was, to which Chen pointed out, "Not in here, she's at Yuuka's apartment." before looking at me, saying, "She CAN open and unlock doors, you know." We went over to Yuuka's and found her contentedly laying on the floor, asleep. Of course, curiosity prompted Maribel to poke her, which ended with her being bitten. Reimu sat up, rubbed her eyes, and greeted us a with groggy, "Hello." She then lifted arms up, saying, "Up, Rannie." I complied, seeing that she was too sleepy to think of lifting herself. According to Yuuka, she had already eaten, so there was really nothing left except to put her to bed. Later on, Reimu did reconcile with the others.

* * *

"Muh?"

  
  


 


	36. Muh

Youmu likes to ask questions and she puts my hand onto things, asking, "Muh?" It's kinda fun, actually, 'cause Youmu wants to help explore the world, too, even if "Muh." is the only thing she says. She knows I can't see, just like I do, but she is happy and so am I. The others think it's kinda weird, especially when she takes my hand and puts it onto something, but Youmu doesn't.

She started doing that when she sat next to me, one day, and took my hand and put it on her head and said, "Muh!". I didn't really know why but I guess it was because she just wanted me to know she was right there. After she did that, she took my hand and put it on Chen's wheelchair, saying, "Muh!" Didn't really know why but she was telling me that Chen wasn't far away. She spent all day, bringing me to where she wanted me to go and put my hand on something, saying, "Muh!"

After that, it seemed I could follow her whenever she said, "Muh." I usually knew where she was or what it was I was touching, so it was kinda like not being blind anymore. Never could seem to figure out what "Muh" meant, then again, Youmu only said "Muh" so I think it is a Youmu thing. Either way, we explored the world together.

Youmu, with her questions and "Muhs" , is a like a box of crayons and the world is like a piece of paper, together we draw on the paper when we explore the world.

* * *

"Stop your bitchin', Baka, Ran would have taken it like a man!"


	37. Conversations and One-Upmanship

It seems I was rather correct on him not being very bright, as he decided to tease one of the kids with food, more specifically, a sandwich and, needless to say, he's had it coming. However, that couldn't really be helped as he barely knows the children, especially Reimu, though, if I were her, I will have caused him injuries, too, doubly so for a rather cruel move, doubly so, since decent food is rather scarce. As we were treating his injuries, I said, "Stop your bitchin', Baka, Ran would have taken it like a man!" to which he responded, "Ran's a woman."

"So? She doesn't bitch everytime she's in pain and she's gone through labor and childbirth without screaming, so she can take a child causing some form of injury to her with ease."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, and she also has a enough sense not to taunt children with food, especially when decent food is rather scarce, and enough kindness to know that doing so would be cruel."

"Okay, well, I take care of kids better than you can?"

_"Muh! Muh!_ "

"Yes, yes, Youmu, I'll change your diaper in a moment.- Okay see, that's where you're wrong, 'cause I have enough sense to give the children the love and care they deserve and need, as well as the fact I know not to taunt them with food, especially when, if I recall, I made a sacrifice in giving them my food, when it was scarce. Oh yes, I've bent over backwards to look after them as if all of them were own and I love them each dearly, not at all being able to think of the worst happening, as well as trying to prevent the worst. You, well, you're such a dumbass that you'd put 'em into danger and still ask to babysit the next day. I would know, considering that one time with the rocks and the head injury and why Father wouldn't even dare to allow us out of his sight. Anyway, if you excuse me, I have to change Youmu's diaper, can't have her getting sick, can we?"

After changing Youmu's diaper, I returned to find Reimu playfully taunting my older brother. She was one for doing that, as it was in her nature just to play. Of course, my older brother recoiled and demanded she leave him alone, leaving her confused. "Stop your bitchin', Baka, she only wants to play!" I said. He pointed to Reimu and said, "If you can love  ** _that,_**  then there is clearly something wrong with you." I rolled my eyes and said, "Reimu is just a child and won't do you any harm, unless you taunt her with food again, in which case, stop your bitchin'."

"You sound like my wife."

"Yeah, okay, no, I don't because your wife would tell you that if you so much as asked for a meager scrap of food, while I would tell you that because you are bitching and I've heard enough it for at least one day, also Reimu is just a child, so she cannot hurt you, then again, you are being a whinyass and, if she does cause you some injury, you've had it coming."

"Okay, well, tell me, why is your wife so fat?"

"What the hell? Okay, seriously, what the hell? First of all, even with a little extra weight, she is still beautiful and, actually, more shapely than I remembered, and, second, dumbasshedron, she put on a little weight after giving birth, which was not that long ago."

"Uh, okay, explain that little monster."

"That's Reimu, Mother-in law's adopted child, and she isn't a little monster, unless you anger or bully her, which in itself would be unwise as A) she verges on having some sort of mental illness, B) Mother-in law will have your ass, and C) we'll have your ass because we do not take kindly to one of the little ones being picked on, on top of that, Father will have your ass because he's told you to behave."

"Okay, why do you care about the little monster?"

"First of all, I care because I love her and she apart of my family, too. If you've gotten to know her, you'd find you'll love her, too, though you should have learned one thing about her and that would be that she doesn't like to be taunted and is very playful, as she is just taunting you because she only wants to play and is hoping you'll respond."

"Okay, explain the kid in the wheelchair and why you care about her?"

_"Ren, am I a monster?"_

"No, no, sweetheart, you're not a monster, Baka's just being a whinyass.-Anyway, that's Chen and she cannot walk because of something horrible we'd like not to discuss, which doesn't matter as I love her, too. I love her because, well, like Reimu, she is apart of my family, too. Also, like Reimu, if you had gotten to know her better, you'd love her, too. Any more questions?"

"Yeah, okay, um, why are all of the children giving me the evil eye?"

"They aren't, actually, they are just looking at you, because they've only seen you once and this is the second time they have seen you, so yeah."

As soon as I finished what I was saying, the children pointed to Baka and said, "Whinyass!" Naturally, my brother asked to bring his wife to dinner. To refuse would be rude so I didn't decline. Like my father had said about her, she was as unpleasant as she sounded, even more so for picking a fight with Ran and taunting the children, neither of which has done nothing to her. As we ate dinner, she glanced at Ran and asked, "What does she have that your father likes in her that I don't have?"

Baka turned to me and asked, "Yes, what is it?" I rolled my eyes and, as I was going to say something, Ran interrupted me and said, "Well, is it the fact that I always treat my family with kindness, is as soft as the softest powder puff and is even more gentle, and has been a rather dutiful wife?" After that, the children, save Youmu and An, started chanting, "Fight! Fight!Fight!" and Yukari, saying, "If you intend on fighting then do it outside in the hall."

Naturally, the two took it to the hallway and everyone stepped outside of their doors to watch, with Shimmy peeking out from between Mother-in law's breasts. The two were squared off, throwing insults at each other before Ran said, "You can suck my ass!" The two lunged at each other. There was hitting , scratching, kicking, and throwing. After about two hours, Ran emerged victorious, saying, as she wiped the blood from her mouth, "You lose, bitch!"

She turned to us and said, "Alright, who wants desert?" As for my brother's wife, she thought about antagonizing her further by calling her, "Fatass", which ended with a roundhouse kick to the face and my father saying, "That's a lady!" For once, actually, An said something and it was, "Damn." She never did seem to remember to antagonize her again and my brother accepted "defeat", though we weren't even competing against each other.

* * *

"Haircut!"

 


	38. Haircuts

Ran-mommie had a special announcement. At first, I thought it was that she was pregnant again or something in relation to that but, no, it was about getting haircuts. I was confused as to why we would get a haircut as I thought our hair was short enough anyway but, no, Ran-mommie was insistent that we'd get haircuts, though the only ones who didn't have to get haircuts were An, Muh, and Taddie. Dammit. After washing and drying our hair, she sat us all in the living, walking back and forth, deciding on who she should pick.

She was doing that for about five seconds before she picked Reimu, who had fallen asleep. Couldn't figure out why she would pick Reimu first but I guess it had something to do with the fact that she sleeps a lot and it would be easier for her cut her hair because she wouldn't put up a fight, complain, or even notice. When she was finished, Reimu did wake up before going back to sleep, though she did touch her hair. Apparently, Ran-mommie cut it a bit too short but Reimu didn't mind, as she couldn't see it anyway.

The next one she picked was Sakuya, who was kinda mad but Ran-mommie told her she was ging to curl her hair when she finished. After she had finished cutting Sakuya's hair, she'd thought she'd give Sakuya one of those hair styles she had seen in a magazine. Sakuya was rather surprised, having not have seen that curly hairstyle before.

The third one she picked was Renko, who was excited because she had never got her hair cut before. She did stop being excited for a moment and asked, "Will it hurt?" and Ran-mommie answered, "No, sweetheart, it won't hurt, though it might tickle." Throughout, she giggled and had to be told to sit still. She squealed when she did see her hairstyle.

The fourth one she picked was Maribel, who was rather quiet but curious. She had never seen a haircut before and she hasn't had her hair trimmed. Like Wren, she kinda thought it would hurt but found out it didn't, so she sat patiently, clapping her hands to a beat and humming a tune so she wouldn't get bored. Once she was finished cutting it, Ran pulled out the curling irons and curled Meary's hair as she wanted it.

The fifth one she picked was Yume Ni, whose hair looked like a bird's nest when it was dry and Ran-mommie stated it needed to be trimmed. Ran-mommie and Yu-Ni argued for about fifteen minutes, before Mama Ran, said, "Either I cut it or Yukari does and, if she does it, you won't like it." She was quiet and let Ran-mommie cut her hair. She didn't like it, though.

The sixth one she picked was Marisa, who was picking her nose...with a pencil. Ran-mommie took the pencil from her and said, "How many times have I told you to stop putting things in your nose?" Marisa's hair didn't take long to cut and it was cut into something kind of apple-shaped.

I was the last the seventh and the last one to have my hair cut. It has been a little while since Ran-mommie cut my hair and she has cut it before but that was so long ago and I usually would cut my own hair, though now I can't. It didn't take very long for her finish. I didn't mind my new haircut and Ran-mommie did a good job.

* * *

"Oh, Mother-in law, are you alright?"

"Just tired, very tired and also not feeling very well, dear."

"You should rest then and I'll take over your duties for a few days."

 


	39. Three Days Rest

I found myself ill from overwork and Ren, my dear son-in law, insisted I take a rest for a few days to recover. I didn't argue, figuring I had been working far too much. Being landlady demands so much, so it is no surprise that my health was affected in all of this, yet I never remember to take at least one day off for myself. After about a few days rest, maybe I'll ask Ren to take me out exploring this anarchist wasteland of a world, probably even take me into the forest so I can see butterflies and sniff flowers. Going out is something I very seldom even do and the last time I had gone out was about one or two months ago.

The first day of rest was rather uneventful, aside from the children laughing, babies crying, Pug, that yappy dog, barking, Ran racing about, and my sleeping. When I did awake, I would find myself falling asleep, again, or, if it were a mealtime, I would awake to Ran holding a bowl of rat soup with the crapass noodles. I would eat it of course but Ran would lament that we don't have a any decent noodles and that she couldn't make any if wanted to, as we don't have any eggs and we were out of flour. I told her not to worry and that I'll be fine.

The second day, something a bit more exciting. Reimu, being near blind, decided to come and see me. I could see her trailing after Pug, trying to get up the stairs. She tired out before trying again, finally making it up the stairs. I blinked, got out of bed, and picked her up, cradling her in my arms and placing her in my bed. I curled up next to her, content.

The third day, I was feeling well again and spent that day playing with the children.

After that, I had gone back to work, with Ren reminding to take a time off every once in a while.

* * *

"Reimu? Where's Reimu?"

 


	40. Lost Children

There was a great alarm, today, and Reimu was missing. I wondered how on earth could she have gotten out and I was quite interested to look for her, hoping she didn't get very far. To worsen matters, she wasn't the only one gone, so were Youmu, Wren, Porwigle, and An. We searched hysterically for them but we only recovered An and Wren's stuffed rabbit but Youmu, Wren, Reimu, and Sanae were still missing. We never could find them.

We searched for over a few days but we never found them.  _"Where on earth could such small children go?"_  I had asked myself during these searches and I would quietly hope for the best, even if we were faced with the most overwhelming evidence that something horrid could very well had befallen them, which wasn't hard to think, as Reimu is near blind and the other three really have no survivor's skills, not that the former has any herself. If something horrid has befallen them, then I can only hope it was quick and neither of them suffered.

I remembered we had gathered into an apartment Yukari set aside as a meeting room to discuss the situation. Ren, seeing through gaps, pointed out that it wasn't the fact of how far they could have went, rather it was the fact they had gotten very far from the from the start. Of course, Bitch Wife argued, "You three tailed imbecile! No child of that particular size could have gotten very far, not without something or someone killing, injuring, trading, or eating them, and besides why do you care?!"

Ren narrowed his eyes, stood up, took a deep breath, and said, "Pardon me, Miss, not meaning to be rude, but I think you are a total bitch and that your question is rather redundant because I care about them because I love them and they are very much like my own, especially since I've bonded with them, helped take care of them, sacrificed for them, and done almost everything for and with them, I cannot think of something horrible befalling them. They are but babies and that is the reason for the worry as people in this world, the  _real_  monsters, have no qualms about doing any of the things you've said. If anything, I do hope they either come back or that we will find them. They may not be your children but they are  ** _our_**  children and we love them very much, also, we have lost far too many children and we needn't lose any more. Thank you for listening, fuck off, and shut the hell up." He sat down, content that he had shut her up and that he said what he needed to say. Yukari later on saying, "Owned."

We continued debating the proper course of action on how to deal with the situation but we couldn't seem to reach an agreement and some parts of the meeting broke out into fisticuffs.

* * *

"Found 'em, yet?"

"No, Miss Mokou."

 


	41. Lost Children, part II

We never really had given up our search for them, even as it dragged on for a rather long time. We searched as the days past and we waited and hoped. I asked around but I got nothing, besides people trading attempting trade their children for something by passing them off as the children we were trying to find. As I searched for them, I was trying piece together where on earth they could have gone to and how it is they managed to get out. Of course, I knew it had to have involved Reimu getting out and the others went to follow her.

On a note, I worried that when we do find them, they'll only escape again, as they a long enough amount of time will have made them turn to animalistic behave to cope with and survive their situation. Said behavior is hard to rehabilitate as that will have been the only thing they will have learned to live with, replacing what they were previously lived with.

The search still dragged on and Yukari was growing more and more frantic by the passing time. Days turned into weeks and weeks eventually became months, surely it couldn't have been very long since they had gone missing. Hopefully, when we do find them, we will manage to bring them back to us.

* * *

"I recognize that little voice..."


	42. Lost Children, Part 2

We never really had given up our search for them, even as it dragged on for a rather long time. We searched as the days past and we waited and hoped. I asked around but I got nothing, besides people trading attempting trade their children for something by passing them off as the children we were trying to find. As I searched for them, I was trying piece together where on earth they could have gone to and how it is they managed to get out. Of course, I knew it had to have involved Reimu getting out and the others went to follow her.

On a note, I worried that when we do find them, they'll only escape again, as they a long enough amount of time will have made them turn to animalistic behave to cope with and survive their situation. Said behavior is hard to rehabilitate as that will have been the only thing they will have learned to live with, replacing what they were previously lived with.

The search still dragged on and Yukari was growing more and more frantic by the passing time. Days turned into weeks and weeks eventually became months, surely it couldn't have been very long since they had gone missing. Hopefully, when we do find them, we will manage to bring them back to us.

* * *

"I recognize that little voice..."

 


	43. Lost Children, Part 3: Remembrance

After about some time, hard to determine how long but it clearly had to have been at least more than a few months, I and my husband decided to pursue our search for them into the forest, after all other the other places were searched. As we trekked, I heard a familiar sound. A wren.  _Odd._  I thought in apprehensiveness but, at the same time, curiosity. I only knew one or two things that makes those sounds, actual wrens, Troglodytes troglodytes, and a little girl affectionately nicknamed Wren.

Following the sound, we happened upon a little shoe. It was a pale cyan, filthy, and practically ragged. We recognized it as Youmu's, as Reimu and Wren don't wear shoes and Sanae's are green. Clearly, finding the shoe meant that they were not that far away and their existence within that forest had been all but extinguished. We continued on, determined to find them, hoping they weren't driven insane by their situation.

As we continued, we found ourselves meeting a familiar face and strange flowers. Cirno's. She seemed to have taken up residence here and seemed to fairly content in freezing what is she wanted, though she seemed to have another ability, which is to turn things crystal, explaining the flowers. She smiled, showing us she had a mouth full of missing teeth, and said, "Hello, RanRen." We greeted her in turn and asked her if she had seen, Sanae, Youmu, Reimu, and Renko, to which she said, "Hmm-humm, I think I might've, dunno if had, but, then again, I help search and we'll find 'em together."

Aiding us in our search, Cirno zipped around, asking any of her forest friends if they had seen them, before she came across her "pet" kitsune. He was familiar as well, actually, we knew him because Reimu used to call him "Mushrooms" because he mostly seemed to eat mushrooms. Naturally, I was curious as to why or how Cirno managed to make him a pet, let alone call him one. He lifted his fat rather fat self walked a few steps, as far as his stilt like legs seemed they could carry him, sat down, and said, after taking a rather wheezy breath, "Uh,...the last time I had seen them, was when they were going in that direction." After Cirno thanked him and as we were starting off, he decided to follow us, aiding us in our search.

Pointing us which ways to go, we made our way into the deeper parts of the forest, where the sound of wrens came again and where the collapsed ruins of an old house were. We had found them. Their time in these circumstances had its effect and it they were surviving off what little they instincts they had and communicating with what wasn't lost, though Youmu still said, "Muh?" that being the only thing she's learned how to say. As to be expected, living in their circumstances for some time had either started to or had turned them into feral children, if not something almost akin to that, or, otherwise appeared to. Fortunately, they weren't pass any point of foreseeable rehabilitation and still retained most if not all of their language skills, so hope was all but lost.

With caution, we approached them and, to our surprise they approached us without fear and in some sort of relief for finally being found. Formulating what sentence she could pull together, Sanae asked, "We go home?" with Youmu, saying, "Muh?" Warbling and trilling like a wren, Renko offered me a mouse, saying, "Missed you, An-Ran and En-Ren." With a piece of cloth on her like a blanket, Reimu remained where she was, asleep, like she usually would. When she awoke, she sat up, sniffed the air, briefly opened her eyes, got to her feet, and started to walk towards us. She was about five feet away but that proved no problem. When she was close enough, she dropped down to her rear end, satisfied, saying, "Missed you, sorry." She then handed me the piece of cloth. It was worn and rather dirty, as it was rather old, but it looked familiar.

As I scrutinized this cloth, a memory came and I realize this was the same piece of cloth Yukari had found me with, something that she had kept all of these years and seemed pretty sad to have lost. I looked up, at that old house, practically overgrown with vegetation, and I recognized it as our old house, the very house we were forced to flee from. Something within prompted her to return. I walked up the steps and opened the door. Everything seemed to almost the same, despite the house being near empty. This house was full of so many memories. I could hear Flandre's voice, Chen's contented purrs, the rabbit scampering about on the floor boards, Yukari's hums, Reimu playing the erhu, and smell the smells of my cooking. The memories of the home this place used to be. I walked through the house, down the hall, to the room that was once mine. Somewhat bewildered, I looked around and noticed little crayon drawings on the wall. I moved onto the next room. Chen, Flandre, Yukari's and, then the last one, Reimu's. All of the rooms had crayon drawings in them, something I had found odd. As tears rolled down my face and took me some time that the girls had drawn them when they took refuge here. They recognized something about this place as ours and felt happy and safe, though, in Reimu's case, familiar. I wiped away my tears, walked back outside, and said, "Let's go home sweethearts."

As we left, Cirno and Mushrooms said goodbye and asked us to visit again. They decided to make our old house theirs and seemed to be content.

* * *

"What makes a sound like that?"

"That's Wren and she does that often."

 


	44. Chirps and Silence

So far, instead of speaking, Wren mostly seemed to communicate in chirps and warbles, like a wren. We had recently brought them home, so we figured this was something that she still retained. Naturally, we accepted as more of a quirk. She's done that more often than not and it seemed to be at special times she would do so. She would chirp and warble, letting out, "Chur-rrr-rr-rr-tek-tek." at mid morning and would do so again in late afternoon. She was normally very vocal that way but she would speak actual words. However, her communication was far different than Reimu, Sanae, and Youmu's but Reimu's especially in that the other two would talk.

Reimu remained silent. This wasn't the first time, as she was like that before, during the long passed winter. Of course, that was when she had relearned her language skills and expanded her vocabulary, so she would remain silent because she was still learning. However, that wasn't too long a time ago when she had regained the use of comprehensive speech, so it could be possible she was trying to salvage what was left of it, if she's lost them. Either way, we know the cause of her silence.

Her silence did serve as somewhat of a contrast between the two because, if I remember correctly, Reimu was the more talkative, vocal, one, while Misosazai was rather quiet, unless engaged in conversation, that is. I guess Reimu will simply require a longer time of rehabilitation.

* * *

"TO THE MOON!"

 


	45. "To the moon!"

enshi seems to have upset Yukari, again, as she was standing outside of our apartment door with something that feels like a baseball bat. Naturally, I let her in and she went right to beating Tenshi with it. She finished her beating of her with the bat and went back to her business. I couldn't seem to figure what it was Yukari was upset with her for but I figured it had something to do with what had happened yesterday.

Later that day, the two were brawling it out inside the hallway and Yukari seemed to winning. From the sounds, I could tell Yukari was using her gaps to beat Tenshi within inches of her life. When she was done, she sighed and, betwixt heavy breaths, she said, "That is for what happened yesterday. She let it go but I didn't and won't and, if you do that again, I will kick your ass and then some more and will continue doing so again and again and again and again and again and again and again, until you break."

She had gone about her business again, with Mokou asking, "Does that whole entire thing have anything to do with her kickin' Reimu the across the hall yesterday? 'cause I'm pretty sure, Ren told her, 'Miss Tenshi, um, you might want to hide and lay low for a while because, if and when Mother-in law finds out, she'll be very upset.' and that was like the fifteenth time she's like kicked a kid across the hallway." to which Ran answered, "Yes, Methhead Mokou, yes, it does."

* * *

"Chen? Cheeen?  _ **CHEN!**_ "


	46. Please Wake Up

Reimu, it seems, has started back returning to her old self but I found this change alarming. Some of her behavior pointed to something wrong, very wrong. I had noticed this strange behavior when Chen had merely opted to take a nap, by laying on the couch. Apparently, her ears didn't detect the faint sounds of Chen breathing, which in turn made her upset. Violently, she started shaking Chen until she awoke. I watched this with observance, wondering why she behaved the way she did but then I remembered that horrible even two years ago. Viewing that from her perspective, I can tell she had, in a way, shoved it to the far recesses of her innocent mind.

She was upset when she thought Chen wouldn't wake up, something that had probably haunted her since that very day. It haunts me as well, especially, since I feel I could have protected them both but didn't. In a way, this showed how close they were. Chen did reassure her that she would wake up, as promised, knowing how much Reimu likes promises, before falling back to sleep. It sated her temporarily, allowing her to go about her business

She wasn't just like that with Chen, she was like that with Ran, anyone to whom she was close to, and she would wake up, even doing so if they weren't asleep from the start. Something within her made her think something was wrong, meaning she had remembered what had happened during her formative age-regression years. She remembered the awful points in those years and there isn't anything we can do to make her forget, not without driving her into further madness. She knows what death is, yes, she does, but, to her naive mind, it is like falling asleep and never waking up, something, from what it seems, that she fears. Sure, fear was conditioned from her but she, like everyone else, doesn't want to die, not yet, not so soon, and neither does she want to see someone close to her go so soon, mental instabilities aside.

Yes, as promised Chen did wake up and got back into her wheelchair, Reimu smiling again, happy that someone close to her hasn't at all passed away. I wonder if, to a certain degree, if their innocence will betray them in the anarchist wasteland of a world. I know of Reimu's and I can only hope that this will not make her further victim of her madness but what of the others? My only hope is that we can protect them from it.

* * *

"Oooh, what pretty picture, Tadpole!"


	47. Taddie's "Fam'ly"

One time, Taddie was drawing a picture with her crayons. I was watching her because I had never seen her do that before, except that one time she had drawn on the wall. As I was watching her, she was drawing a picture of us, all holding hands and smiling. She had drawn us and then she wrote the word, as only she could spell it, "Famly." She then kissed it and ran to show it it to Ran-mommie.

Suwako had gone away a rather long time ago and Sanae didn't seem to miss her. Maybe she liked living here with us and she thought of us as her family. She still remembered Suwako and always will but she will always see us as her family. Of course, she's been with us for so long that this is like the only thing she knows. Maybe Suwako left so Taddie could have a real family and she knew she would be happier with us than she probably was with herself.

Ran-mommie later put that picture that Taddie drew in a frame and hung it up on the wall, where we can all see it.

* * *

"Sometimes, she sees ghosts, it's like they come to her."

 


	48. Making Peace with Past Ghosts

I have heard tale of children being able to see ghosts or, otherwise, be aware of their presence. I remembered how I would doubt that but I find I was wrong for doing so. The children do indeed see something otherworldly and have engaged in its presence. At the same time, I also heard tale of ghosts eventually returning to resolve when had been left unfinished. I knew very little of what we were to meet and what shall indeed be laid to rest.

It had started when I had taken notice to Reimu talking incomprehensibly with something unseen. At first, I considered it only to be an imaginary friend, something she created to cope with being lost in the wild or for her to talk to, considering that she doesn't tend to speak very much, so I thought nothing of it and there wasn't much to think of, since she is a tad nuts, rather. I let her be and play well with her perceived playmate but I found myself to be shaken when I had caught a brief glance of a faint child's figure, almost about Reimu's size, with ears, tail, and an indigo ribbon in her hair. I blinked and glanced back but I didn't see what I've seen initially. I shrugged it off, considering it to be my mind playing tricks on me.

The next day had grown stranger, when I had noticed a white butterfly fluttering in the hallway before landing on Huzi, Suika, and Kaguya's door. It was peculiar, yes, and, again, I had thought very little of it, considering it to be coincidence, but I found myself surprised when, in the butterfly's place, I saw Eirin standing at the door. I blinked and I saw that the butterfly had vanished. Later on, I heard babies crying and asked Ducks if they were alright to which she said, "They are and, actually, they have been quiet." I found myself completely shocked at how she couldn't or didn't hear the sound of little whimpers. However, as I was going over my thoughts of today, I found myself approached by Chen, who whispered, "Hey, Yuuka, can I teww you something?"

"Yes, poppet."

"I think we have ghosts because I saw Eiwin, yestewday, and Weimu has been tawking to Yume."

"Now, Chen, Eirin's long passed away, as had Yume. Surely, you must have been seeing things."

"Was not! I saw them with my own eyes, so I know it was them. On top of that thewe has been the ghost of a kitsune fowwowing

Wen-daddie awound and she wooks wike him and Meiwing has fowwowing Sakuya awound."

"Now, poppet, you know Meiling passed away, so there is no Meiling here and I'm sure Ren will have known if something was following him, surely."

"No, I weawwy did see hew, Meiwing, Yume, and that wady I think is Wen's mommy."

After listening to her talk, I figured we really did have ghosts but I did conclude just to let them alone, as I figured there wasn't anything we could do about them, though I was curious as to see what their goals could be. Obviously, they were not meaning to harm but they were looking to be at peace somehow. It made sense, seeing as they've died without some sort of resolution. I thought to make peace with the ghosts and, further more, the past. Making peace with the ghosts will make peace with the past, eventually loosening its hold.

After about a few days of the ghosts haunting, everyone did take notice. It was bittersweet, to say what couldst be said. As for Ducks, she was in tears and on the ground to be briefly reunited with her long passed away babies. For Winston, or, Ren, as I should call him, he had met the mother he hadn't been able to meet because she had died bringing him into this world and, as for his father, he had gotten to see his beloved wife, enabling him to move on. For Eirin, Kaguya and little Udonge had gotten to see her again and, for Keine, she had finally calmed Methhead Mokou's grief, even motivating her to go clean. As for Meiling and Patchouli, they opted to watch over Remi, Flan, and Sakuya forever. For Suika, Yuugi gave her friendly noogie and, as for Sattie, she was had gotten to see Rin, Okuu, and Koishi yet again. We all had made peace with the ghosts the pain of the past seemed to subside.

There had come new stars in the sky.

For once, it seemed we were finally free.

* * *

"Question?"

"Yes, Sakuya?"

"What stinks like doodie?"

"Chen, do you need a diaper change?"

"Yes, but we'we out of diapews and I'm not the onwy one who needs diapew change, as a mattew of fact, Weimu took hews off and has done hew business in Pug's wittewbox."

"Well, Mama Ran is going to have to go on a diaper run-Ren, fire up the motorcycle truck, we're going on a diaper run!- and, in the meanwhile, Chen, I'm going to sit you on the toilet."


	49. Diaper Run

To much annoyance, we found that we were out of diapers prompting Ren and I to go out get some more. I loaded my gun and got on the back of the motorcycle truck and go further into town. To a certain degree, it felt good to be outside and Ren and I weren't the only ones that thought so because, to our surprise, we found Youmu was following after us, saying, "Muh, muh!" I blinked and said, "Ren, stop!" He slammed on the brake and I got off to go get her. She was too far away to be sent back, so we decided we'd take her with. She seemed to be happy wanting to go out and about. As we continued a bit further, we found there was also Yukari (with pug) who wanted to go after being fed up with sitting in that lobby for a long time.

After sorting everything out, we decided we all would go on a diaper run. Of course, we didn't know, initially, where to obtain diapers until Ren did remember where we got the cribs, so clearly diapers were there, too. However, that was rather far and we didn't really have enough gas, so we asked Yukari to gap us there. She did and we found ourselves where the layette store was. Yukari swiveled her head, here and there, looking around for something and someone suspicious, all while holding Youmu close to her. When she did spot something, she said, "Careful, there could be landmines afoot."

After scrounging about through the store, I have come across unopened boxes of diapers. I picked them up, carried them out, got on, and left. As we were going home, we found ourselves sidetracked by gun fight. That wasn't very easy to dodge but neither was it hard. When they spotted Yukari, they stopped and allowed us to pass. Unsurprisingly, we recognized them as the ones to whom Yukari threatened to blow up in a fireball if they ever antagonized her again. We continued until we found ourselves debating on whether or not to go through a gunfight just to get past. Yukari stepped off, walked into the middle, causing everyone to look at her funny, took a deep breath, and yelled, "MOVE DAMMIT!" They dropped everything and left, not at all thinking to shoot at her or anything of the sort. Apparently, her voice scared them away. After passing through all the gunfights with Yukari's aid, we found something interesting. A bunk bed. The children will like that, we knew, so we took it with, though Reimu is going to be pretty pissed when she finds out she'll have to sleep in that crib, still.

We made it home and just in time as well, since our apartment was near close to chaotic and Chen had grown bored of sitting on the toilet, actually, she said her ass was sore. She was relieved to have a diaper on, as everyone else that required to have a diaper change. On the note of the bunk beds, Reimu was pissed and, during one of the rarer times in which she talks, she pointed out that An doesn't have to and neither does she sleep in a crib to which I said, "Well, first of all, you always find a way to get out, and, second of all, we keep you in there to keep you from unknowingly hurting yourself at night, especially while you sleep (this has happened before), which you are going to do otherwise, so that is why you sleep in a crib and you will be sleeping in that crib until you either do or have one or two things happen: A), stop getting out, which you clearly aren't going to do, B), until you outgrow it and that will be awhile, C), until I, Ren, or Yukari decides you can get out, and or D) until we get a you a new bed to put you in." She didn't argue back.

* * *

"Muh-ma."


	50. Youmu's First Words (Besides "Muh")

Youmu, it seems, has learned more words, though the first word she's managed to get out was, "Muma" and the second was, "Muhpa". When I had heard it, I was surprised because she's only said, "Muh" but this time she's said something else. Of course, "Muma" was her way of saying "Mama" and "Muhpa" being her way of saying "Papa" and she seemed to be calling anyone that was an adult female or male that and or who isn't my brother or his paintbrush wife, then again, that is something she's learned by observing everyone else. When she says it, she smiles and says it again.

We had noticed this during when Ran, as usual, was teaching their lessons. Naturally, the toddlers being young were only taught lessons at the side but Youmu thought it'd be fit to catch Ran's attention. While she was talking, Youmu walked over, tugged her sleeve, and said, "Muma." It caught her attention, prompting her stop teaching for a moment and look at her, trying to wrap her head around what had happened. Smiling, Youmu repeated what she said and nuzzled her arm. Though confused, Ran smiled and said, "Hello, Youmu." Usually, "Muh" was Youmu's usual thing she said but it seems she's finally expanded her vocabulary. She walked over to me and said, "Muhpa!" and kissed me on the face. It was rather sweet, really, that she's acknowledged some parental figures in her life, be it if there are many of them.

So far, she hasn't yet learned to call people their names.

* * *

"Birthday."


	51. Birthday

I found myself remembering a day and something I had promised. Reimu's birthday had come and I am going to keep my promise. Of course, I was going to have to trade something to get stuff to make into a cake. That shouldn't be too hard, as I do have things people will want to trade me for or perhaps I could get it from Yuyuko, who can get anything. I promised Reimu, along with Maribel and Renko. My little babies will like something sweet. I didn't know what to get them as presents, though, I'm sure they won't mind if they get something rather simple (i.e Renko stated she wanted an apple and Maribel wanted a teddy bear).

On the day before their birthday, I found myself taking a day away from my duties to focus on other ones. Disguising myself as a blind woman and Pug as my seeing eye dog, I led my pug to Yuyuko's Tavern and Whatever (that is exactly what she's decided to call it) to see if she has anything I could use to bake a cake. She searched about in the kitchen before coming up with ambrosia, stating, "I don't have anything to bake a cake with but ambrosia always does me good." I accepted it and thanked her for her services. As for presents, I wasn't really sure what to give them, though I figured I could get them something, I just didn't know what.

When their birthday did come, it turns out they really didn't want much of anything but they were at their happiest to spend time with me.

* * *

"You shut your mouths right now, you bastard and bitch!"


	52. "Monster"

It is rather amusing that a child is called a monster, when children aren't much to fear and that there are far fearsome things capable of doing things far worse. I cannot for the like me of comprehend why it is Ren's older brother Baka and his bitch wife even think to bring a child to tears, especially when she is just as much a victim as the rest of us of hard times and collapsed foundations. In my 1444 years of existence, I have seen monsters, both human and youkai alike, so surely a child is a no monster, unless she becomes that way from being too corrupted or was a victim of further madness, in which or either case, it remains tragic. I don't have to see to know that she was bullied to tears. By a some time, the tears had stopped, meaning she had grown used to it, and I could tell how numbed by her voice, especially when she turned her head towards me and smiled. I could clearly tell she was hurt and even offered to shield her from the bullying and torment by taking her from it, something she didn't refuse. To much my upset, Ren, Ran, Yukari, and no one else but I knew and that couldn't be helped, as Reimu has been mostly silent, communicating in utterances, gestures, or grunts, very seldom talking.

It was one to thing to call her a monster and then turn around and go right back to bullying her but doing so on so on frequent of a basis that it she's grown numbed to it is another. Even though she had grown numbed, I could imagine what sort of expression she might have had, an expression that asked,  _"What have I done wrong?"_  After some time of sitting by and subtly protecting her, I decided to go to catch Ren on an off day, telling him what had gone on. I couldn't see his expression but I could tell he was shocked. He was upset and decided to keep an eye out for his idiot brother and his bitch wife. When the two went back to taunting her again, he said, "You shut your mouths right now, you bastard and bitch!" We were surprised as Ren wasn't exactly one for swearing, not in the company of others but this time he did and it called all of our attention.

"You two stop calling her a monster, when you are the monsters. If she had done something to you, then, fine, tell us and we'll take action but DO NOT, under any circumstance call her a monster when there are  _REAL_  monsters out there that will do worse than a child would. I have seen mothers abandon their babies, if not outright kill them, I have seen homes and people destroyed all in the name of greed and a twisted sense of purpose, people imprisoned outright for no apparent reason besides just because and many persecuted for simply existing, blaming them for their own existence, much like what it is you are doing to her, when she hasn't done any of those things. No, she hasn't, in fact, not that she can remember, she is a victim of monsters, as they've separated her from her mother figure, virtually denied her contact, besides being fed and doped up sedatives, that of which could have very killed her, and then had her mind altered through some kind of mental conditioning, that of which clearly isn't going to be reversed, opening her up to danger, and she most certainly is the victim of your cruelty, making you two monsters of your own rights." he said, taking a deep breath afterwards.

He picked up Reimu, walked back into their apartment, before coming out with a hammer, saying, "If you bully and so much as lay a finger on her or any of the other children, I will smack you both in your heads with this hammer and I will have no regrets because you and your bitch wife will have had it coming. If I don't get to you, then Mother-in law most certainly will, as she's made no harming the children clear, as will Father, because he's told you to behave, Ran will, doubly so because you've called her the "C-word" and then a "fatass", Suika will because she calls them her little siblings, Yuuka because we all know how she is, and everyone else close to us will because we and they take care of their own. Oh, and you two will be damned if the children decide to fight back and they will do so in numbers." He walked back into the apartment and close the door. He was finished for the day.

* * *

"Let's watch The Godfather."

"Wan-mommie said no Godfathew because of that one time."

"Oh yeah."

"Muh?"

"Youmu, we've watched that one awweady."

"This one?"

"Hmm, we've never watched that one before. All in favor?"

"Da-ze!"

"Muh!"

"...Okay."

"Yessie-yes~!"


	53. What Happened During Movie Night

Sometimes, we sneak into the living room, while Ran-mommie and Ren-daddie are asleep, and watch movies. They don't know that is what we have done for the past time or so. Of course, we usually had to figure out what to watch and that Sakuya usually picked the movies and asked if we agreed. She went through almost each and every last one before settling on one of the ones we haven't seen before. We didn't know what it was titled as the label that was scratched off. We turned down the TV and put it in the VCR. Something smelled wrong and, by the time the movie was over, we, except Reimu (who was sleeping) and Muh, were scared out of our skulls.

As we went back to bed, we swore to never speak of that movie but that didn't stop Youmu from asking about it. She didn't even know how to say "movie" and yet she still asked about it. Honestly, what the fuck has her fascinated with a movie that frighted us? We didn't know and Youmu tends to be very clueless. We knew what was going on that movie and we'd swore to never speak of it but, as to be expected, she's a squealer and, even though she only says "Muh", "Muhpa", and "Muma", she is pretty talkative. We tried everything for four days, approx, to keep her from blabbing to Papa Ren and Mama Ran.

After four days, we gave up and let Muh ask about the movie. She took the videotape and brought it to Ran, asking, "Muma, Muhvie?" Ran took it from her and said, "Well, it someone's found a movie they shouldn't have and, yes, I know you got up to watch a movie, we're not deaf, though, if you're going to watch a movie, please make sure it is fit for children."

* * *

"Long hair, long hair, long hair, silky and fair."

 


	54. Cracking the Shell

Reimu's white hair had grown, going even past her heels, and, frankly, I think it is time for it to be cut but she won't let me and, if I try, she usually tries to bite me, saying, "Nuh-uh!" Of course, I would be shocked to hear her say something, as she very seldom spoke and was usually quiet. She did speak a couple of times and that was when she was protesting that she had to sleep in a crib and when she cried out for us. However, she seemed really inclined to sing when I was doing something her hair she liked, brushing. I found that odd, as she usually never spoke to anyone or anything, unless it was an utterance or a noise.

It was amusing to watch her sing or otherwise chant her song, during a time in which she would remain silent. When I had finished, she would be quiet again. Of course, this was a part of her strange behavior, aside from mood swings, catatonia, and staring into nothing, muttering nonsensical or in what she used to communicate in. It was almost like she was in a shell, one that would be hard to crack. Seeing her in that shell made me want to bring her back to us, reclaim what had been lost to delirium and psychosis. Of course, illness is hard to cure and to reclaim what had been lost to it is even harder. Her shell would be hard to crack and, frankly, as much as I want to, I cannot think of how to do so, besides brushing her hair.

In thinking, I had realized that I haven't really spoke to her and neither she had done the same. I opted to try this but found I didn't have to when, on one occasion of hairbrushing, she turned to me and whispered, "I don't want to be sick anymore." I was shocked and found I couldn't respond to her. My heart started to break, even more so for the fact that she aware of her mental illness or, otherwise, seemed to be aware that something was clearly wrong with her. With a smile, she asked me, "Am I dying?" which made me horrified. As with the aforementioned, she was probably aware of the fact that nothing could be done, just like any of us would be if we had a terminal illness of some sort and has resigned ourselves to a fate that cannot be changed. She, a child with so much to live for, had resigned herself to a fate that no one should ever have to suffer. I had realized that beneath her cheerfulness, she was utterly miserable, suffering from something that she cannot comprehend and is utterly unaware of, the very pain she cannot seem to feel. I was haunted by what she had said. Like any other child, she was seeking comfort and wanted someone to make things better. She wanted to be rid of what plagues her but knows she can't and has resigned herself to live with it, so she smiles, "shikata ga nai".

As I was thinking about it, I found myself sleepless and then whimpering in the middle of the night, awaking Ren, who asked, "What's the matter?" to which I responded, "You know how we've always figured something was wrong with Reimu?" He glanced sideways before saying, "Yes, I do." My lip trembled and I told him, "She told me she didn't want to be sick anymore."

"Huh?"

"She told me she didn't want to be sick anymore and then asked me if she was dying."

"I don't know what to say that and neither did you. At least, to a certain degree, her shell cracked just enough so we can see inside. If anything, Reimu found you to be the one she could confide in and letting you in on her innermost feelings, something that she hasn't done before, at least not openly. At the same time, she also crying for help."

"How?"

"Well, think about it, she usually doesn't confide about how she feels to anyone and has been mostly silent but decided to open up just this once and speak comprehensively, in sentences, rather than in utterances. She spoke to you because you were there to listen and was capable of reading you well enough to know that you wanted to talk to her or, rather, ask her what she wanted the most, something that she has probably observed you doing with the other children. If anything her smile is her way of comforting others and herself mostly, diverting attention away from her sorrow and pain, much like how Chen purred to herself. Of course, when someone does cry for help, it is rather hard to interpret or hard to understand when it is you, contrary to someone else because you cannot fathom why it is they would come to  _you,_  especially when you think of yourself as the most unlikely person. If anything, it shows how close a bond she has someone, especially if she's known them for as long as she remembers. Hopefully, someday, she will finally be able break free from that shell."

_Hopefully._ Hopefully what was lost can finally be reclained

* * *

"Look who's come to visit for a while, Cirno and her pet and we're going to make dinner for you~!"

 


	55. I love them and they are my family

Cirno thought it would be nice to visit us for a while and she brought along her "pet", which is a really fat kitsune Reimu calls "Mushrooms" or "Shroom" for short. I for the like of me cannot figure out why it is she calls him a pet, then again, he doesn't seem to mind. When they came to visit, she was carrying that fat kitsune and dropped him on Yukari, who in turn gapped him upstairs. He wasn't the only thing she was carrying, she was also carrying a bag of stuff. While Shrooms rolled his fat ass into the kitchen, Cirno unloaded her bag, saying, "Inside this bag is dinner." I blinked and asked what it was to which she said, "Cirno's extra special soup that consists of frogs, mushrooms, pig leg, eggs, spices, and, well, I guess that's it."

"Huh?!"

"Yuh-huh, that's right

"Okay, it it good?"

"Yuppers and what you don't eat, Doggy will eat, he eats anything, especially tacky rugs but, don't worry, your rug isn't tacky, though that idiot and his bitchy wife's rug is. Honestly, if you're going to be a moron and a bitch, then you may as well pick a nice rug to steal, not no crapass smells like looks like shit rug that doesn't even compliment the rest the of house, except to make it look shittier. Trust me, Chen, even a dog wouldn't pee on and a crazy person wouldn't their ass with it.

_"Thank you!"_

"I hear ya'."

"Anyway, I hope I make enough, don't you think?"

"With all of those frozen frogs and everything else, I think you will."

"Okay, good. Anyway, how have you been?"

"Oh, I've been okay and so have everyone else. You?"

"Well, we missed you all, so we came here, making where we live our vacation home. Ran-Ran told me it was your old house. I drew a picture of us all holding hands on the wall."

"That was nice."

I left Cirno to her soup and pictured in my head what that picture could look like. When Yukari found out she was cooking dinner, she said, "Good, good to try new things." Next to Reimu, Shroom had plopped down next to her, settling for a nap, with Reimu snuggling closer. After about an hour, dinner was finished and everyone had gathered at the table. It was like a normal family dinner, well, except for An, A.K.A "Baby Thrill-seeker" (as Yu-Ni calls her) trying to jump off of things again. Cirno placed out the bowls and, with a ladle, filling them with soup. As soon as her bowl was filled, Yukari thought to eat hers first, stating, "I'm older than you, I eat first." We watched her. She didn't seem to mind it, as had eaten it without fussing or minding the fact that one of the frogs was still alive. Actually, on the note of that frog, she picked it up and threw it in her mouth before it could hop across the room or, for that matter, the table, burping afterwards and saying, "Well, that tasted nice."

We all started eating, concluding it did taste nice, which it did, of course. As we were eating, Yume Ni brought up that time Reimu tried to stab her with a pair of scissors. I remembered that because that was a couple of days ago and I'm pretty sure she was either pissed off or incoherent or, for that matter, both. Either way, I never really could figure out why, then again, that would be a reason not to leave out the scissors, of course. Yukari glanced at her and asked, "Are you telling lies again?" to which she answered, "Hell no! She really did try to stab me with scissors, that little psychopath."

"Okay, if she actually did, then why didn't you tell your mother? Because that would have been a good idea on how to deal-Ran, hold out your arms.- with the problem, resolving it right then and there."

"Uh..."

"Okay, clearly, this is a problem that has to be dealt with and it will be. One, Reimu, sweetheart, that's not how you use scissors and you do not try to stab yourself or other people using the scissors or anything sharp else for that matter. Two, as for you, Yume Ni Yakumo, I must clearly note that what Reimu is doing is no more violent that you trying to push or get Chen's wheelchair to fall a flight of stairs."

I vaguely remember that as that was before I got my new wheelchair and that was when I was usually just waking up from a nap. If Yukari didn't catch me, I will have suffered broken bones. I can't understand and neither do I know why my little sister tried to do that but, then again, Reimu tried to stab her with a pair of scissors and she didn't know and understand why. Then again, each and every last one of us in this room probably did something like that when we were a little. I remember Ran-mommie saying I used to hit Yukari in the legs with rocks and before that, when I was just learning how to walk, I used to smack her in the eye and I do remember Yukari telling me Ran-mommie would randomly start punching and kicking her for about five minutes before going off to do something else and, once, tried to bury her

Naturally, Gramps thought it was rather interesting, stating that Ren-daddie once threw a log much bigger than himself , of course, Baka had that coming for hitting him with rocks. Of course, all of my aunts and uncles have done something like that and Gramps has had a fair amount of children and lived long enough to know. Once we finished with the subject, Suika took one look at Auntie Bitch and then at Baka and said, "Wow, your brother was right, stupid you could do better." to which he asked, "How do you mean?"

"You didn't have to marry that bitch."

"Now, she isn't all bad."

"Uhhhm, yes,..yes, she is. Listen, um, I may be alcoholic but, well, I know for a fact you could do better. Look at that thing, face it, you are a henpecked husband and is extremely unhappy with your marriage, yet, you stay on cause you wanna make it work."

"..."

"Yeah, see, I think you should divorce her and find yourself a new one, then you'll be happier. See look at your brother and his wife, they're adorable aren't they? But they're happy, I mean, what's the point of bein' married if you ain't happy."

He seemed to have listened to her, turned to his wife, and said, "This marriage is over." She stormed out, not saying a word, though that didn't stop An from saying, "Bye-bye, bitch!" After she said was what she said, she climbed onto something and jumped off, Yukari catching her. "That's Baby Thrill-seeker and she does that whenever she can." Yu-Ni said, rolling her eyes. Yukari shook her head and said, "She reminds me of Ran, when she was little. Three busted holes in the roof, one large-sized hole in the floor, three concussions, five nights of crying bloody murder, and five more of a groggy and dazed baby. Yeah, a rock hard skull does not protect from pain. Brain damage maybe but not pain. She grew out of that eventually." Mama shot her a look to which she said, "Oh don't look at me that, Ran, you really did do that but, nevertheless, I love you and I thank you for the memories I can look back on, especially when you have had children of your own and I can say what I wanna say." Mama Ran shook her head and rolled hers.

Yume Ni smirked and asked, "Do we look like a normal family to you?" We weren't in all sense of the word but we were a family, almost like the one in of those movies. To me, this was normal or pretty close, considering that our lives had been nothing but chaos until now. Frankly, I wouldn't trade these motherfuckers away for any other ones. Sure, some of the time I can't fucking stand them but, at the same, I love these motherfuckers and can't live without 'em. Sure, I have Reimu, the sleepyhead who will try to stab someone with scissors, An, who jumps off of things, Sakuya the bully, Sanae the eye-kisser, Youmu the one who says "Muh", Pug that yappy dog, Mushrooms, that big roll of fat, Cirno the more or less cousin from out-of-town, Yuuka the aunt, Tenshie the one that kicks kids across the hallway, really old grandfather, Yu-Ni, who's taking her place as the resident smartass, Suika the resident drunk, Satori the secluded one, Mokou the methhead (before she went clean), Kaguya the nurse, Remilia the observer, Flandre the friendly vampire, Kisume the shy one who hides in buckets, Kosuzu the one who reads in the hallway, and many others (besides my uncle's bitch ex-wife and, honestly, no one is gonna miss her) and, yet, I wouldn't trade these motherfuckers for anything in the world.

I love them and they are my family.

* * *

"I think he likes you, Mother-In Law."

 


	56. The Gap Youkai and the Elderly Kitsune

Ren's father never seemed to take his eyes off of me and I never could formulate why, until Ren told me, "I think he likes you, Mother-In Law." It had dawned on me that he seems to be smitten with me. I couldn't understand why he would be interested in me, after all, I have been touched before and I am far too old to be looking for love, yet, he pursues me. I suppose it is my unspeakable experiences at the hands of the warden and his stoolies during imprisonment is what makes me hesitant in returning his feelings, after all, while they would do such horrible things to me, they were quick to insult me, calling me a whore, and say I was lucky. Bastards. Even though I hesitate, I want to pursue, to return his feelings, his interest.

When he gazes upon me, I cannot help but to want to hide away and cover my face, being as shy as a teenaged school girl with her first crush. I _s this real? Are his feelings genuine?_  What was making me shyer is the fact that he wasn't being bold, just admiring from afar. I was doing the same, yet quick to hide my face, when he so much as glanced at me. After that, I started dressing like a widow, with a black veil, as to hide my face, further shrouding me within my shyness. Of course, the veil that hid my face made him look at me more. Oddly, I wasn't feeling so shy when I wore that veil, so I became more receptive to his feelings, playfully teasing him. To be honest, I felt awful for teasing him, be that playful, so I opted to be brave and go to him face to face.

Breaking though my wall of shyness, I surprised him by showing up at his door. We spent the day together, talking and the like. As I was leaving to go back to my apartment, he said, "I'm very happy to have spent some time with you, Miss Yakumo." I found I would visit him often, enjoying our little romance...

* * *

"Chen's takin' her first steps!"

 


	57. Chen's First Steps

It has been some time since Chen had lost her ability to walk due the incident that left her left leg and arm paralyzed. However, we were to find ourselves surprised. It was after lessons and I was washing dishes, Mushrooms was napping on a ragged blanket on the kitchen floor, and some of the children were kicking ball in the hallway, while Sakuya, Cirno, An, and Chen were in the livingroom watching a movie, while Reimu was napping. As I was washing the dishes, I heard Cirno say, "Chen's takin' her first steps!" My eyes widened and I hurried into the living-room to see what it is she was talking about. Sure enough, Chen actually was taking her first steps, be that barely. Her left leg, turned slightly inward, she could use but not to its full extent as some of the nerve damage proved to be residual. She limped towards me, greeted me with a "Hewwo, Wan-mommie.", and then limped back to her chair. Her left arm, however, could not be used, as it was still paralyzed.

Her regaining some of her ability to walk did give her more independence, though she still needed her chair otherwise to get around and needed someone to change her diapers. She seemed to be fairly happy to at least be able to walk, even if not to full extent.

* * *

"Guys, guys, I've finally come up with antidote!"

 


	58. Antidote

It had taken countless days, planning, and various experiments using Huzi as a test rat but I have finally come up with something that will age the kids back to the way they were originally. Of course, I was worried about two things occurring. One, the children not wanting to turn back but, then again, they were pissed off at Reimu for them drinking it, and, two, something going awry, even though I had tested it on Huzi, then again, I must be neurotic again.

Once I had come up with the finished product, I hurried over to their apartment. As to be expected, Reimu sniffed it and sipped it out of curiosity and was reaged back to eight, as did all of the other children, reaging them back to the way they were. They were happy, though Reimu seemed to be indifferent. Of course, she was also sleepy and only sipped it out of curiosity.

* * *

"Muma!"

"Yes, Youmu?"

"Muh! Muh! Muh!"

"She's WHAT?!"

 


	59. Yu the Bully

Once again, Ran is stopping Yu from beating the shit out of someone (figuratively and literary), even if she already started. She had developed a temper problem and was quick to beat or kick the crap out of anyone who's crossed her. This wasn't the first time she's started beating everyone up, actually, this is the twentieth time and, this time, she was beating up Marisa. Marisa isn't the first one she's beaten up, as she's beamed Cirno in the head with a can, punched Alice so hard that she's peed her pants, backhanded Sanae in the face, hit Maribel with a game controller, broken Renko's nose, shattered a plate on Chen's head, yanked out a lot of my hair, knocked out a few of Reimu's teeth with shoe, and punted An across the hallway, though that ended with her coming back to kick her between the legs, twice, saying, "You now have a vagina, piece o' shit." (She thinks Yu looks like a boy) The only ones she didn't get to were Shimmy, who's in Yukari's cleavage and reaching in there will get some sort of repercussion (the last guy that reached in there was left with a vagina and boobs) and Youmu, who is smart enough to climb up and or go where she can't get to her.

Why she would hit us varied. Sometimes, she got pissed off at the fact she lost a fighting game on Xbox. Sometimes, she would get mad if someone hugged Ran or said something she didn't like, even if it weren't directed at her. Sometimes, she would get mad if we played a game without her and picked a movie she didn't want to watch. Either way, she would hit us. Ran and Ren would deal with it but she would go right back to hitting us and we thought Reimu was bad. Of course, Reimu would hit but that depended on why and she wouldn't do that randomly, also she would stop, but Yu, that little piece of shit, just beats us up for the hell of it, whenever she gets mad. Honestly, is it any mystery as to why Reimu tried to stab her with a pair of scissors?

After Ran had dealt with her, she pointed to Youmu, saying, "One of these days, you little fucking asshole, you're next!" Youmu was terrified and Ran was angrier than before, saying, " _No one's_ next and you're going to stop hitting people." After that, Youmu, scared for her life, wouldn't stop crying. We didn't really know how to comfort her, as we, save Reimu, who doesn't fear anything, was terrified of Yu to do anything. After awhile, while she was asleep and when Youmu settled down, we had a meeting in the hall to decide what to do.

"Alright, how are we going to deal with her?" Marisa asked, still stinging from her black eye. That was a question we couldn't really answer, seeing we were still terrified of her. Of course, we weren't the only ones who didn't know how to deal with her, as Ran and Ren didn't either, actually. Blinking her sleepy eyes, Chen said, "We couwd wun away, aftew aww, Yu won't stop picking on us, no mattew what Mama Wan and Papa Wen says ow how they deaw wif it." We all looked at Chen and didn't know what to think about what she said. It was very late in the night and we didn't know where we'd go. "Muh?" Youmu asked, trying make sense of what she's heard.

Peeing a little, Alice asked, "Won't Ran, Ren, Yukari, and everyone be mad at us?"

"Maybe." Marisa answered, rubbing that shiner on her face

"No! No!" Sanae said, in protest.

Chirping softly, Renko said, "I don't want 'em pissed at us."

"Uh-huh." Maribel said, agreeing.

"Where the hell are we gonna go?" An, yawning, asked.

"Dammit Chen! You didn't think of that!"

"Somewhewe whewe Yu isn't."

"Okay."

"Well where is that exactly?"

"I don't know."

"No!"

"Okay, well, Chen, we kinda need a place to go."

"What the about the apawment buiwding basement?"

"Yeah, that could work."

"Uh-huh."

"Da-ze!"

"But who's going to get the keys and who can keep a secret?"

Fortunately, Cirno could keep a secret but I had to get the keys and those were in Yukari's room.  _Shit!_  Gingerly, I tiptoed down the hallway, opened the door to Yukari's room, and went in. The keys were on the second level of her room, in one of the dresser drawers, next to the mirror. Fortunately, Yukari was asleep, which she should be, considering she had taken a few sleeping pills and two shots of liquor, but I still had to go through Pug, who was sleeping in one of the chairs. I tiptoed up the stairs to the second level, lightly creaking them along the way. As I was grabbing the keys, Pug woke up and started barking. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed her, opened up the door to armoire, shoved her in, and closed the door. I checked on her owner to make sure she was still asleep, which she was, however, Shimmy wasn't but she went back to sleep. I grabbed the keys and hurried out of the apartment.

Quietly, we went downstairs to the lobby, down the hall, unlocked the basement door, went down the stairs, and locked the door behind us. About four or five hours later, Pug's loud barking rang through our ears, as did everyone calling our names. Marisa blinked and said, "Well guys, we're boned, da-ze!" We stayed quiet, hoping they wouldn't find us and make us go back upstairs and live with Yu the bullying kitsune pup. We had heard their voices for hours but they never seemed to come our way. Of course, we had forgotten the fact that we didn't bring any food down there and I drew the shortest straw.  _Dammit!_  It was late at night and most of everyone had gone to bed. I tiptoed up the stairs and down the hall to our apartment and slowly opened the door, peeking in. Ran and Ren were still awake and they were talking. Listening, I could only make out, "Where do you think they've might have gone?" and, "Definitely somewhere within this building." I couldn't make out the rest because it was whispers but I could make out some things here and there. Amongst them, one sentence stood out, "Yukari said the ring of keys are stolen and she doesn't know where they are, along with the fact that she found Pug barking while in the wardrobe." The lights went out and Ran and Ren had gone to bed. I opened the door further and tiptoed in, walking to the kitchen.

As I was walking out of the kitchen with the food, the lights came on and the dog was barking again.  _Busted!_  I knew who it was and there was no need to look behind me. Someone didn't take their sleeping potion of liquor and sleeping pills. " _Busted~!"_  I heard her voice whisper and echo. Yukari. Holding the food, I turned around to face her and her yappy dog. Smirking, she then asked, "Mind telling me where the others are?"  _Damn!_  I was given much of a choice so I had to tell her where the others were but, however, that didn't mean I was going to and I said, "It's gonna be a long night 'cause I'm not telling you shit!"

Within thirty minutes, Ran, Ren, Yukari, and that dog was staring at me. Cirno also knew where the others were but she kept her mouth shut, as did her pet, which didn't matter as Mushrooms is such a big fatass that talking seems to take an effort, on top of the fact he's asleep. Ran narrowed her eyes and said, "Sakuya, we know that you know where the others are, so just tell us, okay?"

"Hello no!"

"Pardon?"

"No!"

"You're making this difficult."

"Okay, listen, I'm not telling you anything because we  _had_  to hide,  _had_  to get out of here!"

"What on earth do you mean?"

"Yes, please-"

"Ren, shut up! Since you wanna know so bad, it is because we could not deal with Yu the bully anymore and Youmu was terrified for her life so we had to get out of here! We're tired of her beating us up and causing us injuries, on top of that, she's gonna kill Youmu, so we had to do something and that was get the hell out of here! And, here are your keys back!"

Sweat and tears were streaming down my face and I wasn't going to say any more. After that, I had fainted and awoke with everyone looking at me. Sanae was lightly stroking my head, whispering, "Sleep." Peeing, Alice said, "We weren't given a choice." The others, save Reimu, who was curled up in the corner, nodded, stating the same thing. Weakly, I said, "Oh dammit!" After that, Yu the bully stopped hitting us but it would be a helluva long time before we will ever trust her again. Exactly what made her stop hitting us is the fact that Yukari and Pug gave her the taste of her medicine.

_**On the note, you readers, you! When you or someone else is being picked on by your own Yu the bullies, tell someone who can and will help you ad get the the problem resolved then and there, _ **also, when you see and know someone is being bullied, stand up and stick together against the bully, don't be a bystander, stand up and stick together,**_  don't do what we did!** _

* * *

"It's okay, no need to apologize. I can't live with the grief forever."

 


	60. Can't Live with the Grief Forever

It has been awhile since Koishi died and since I had left my apartment but, this time, for the first time in a long time, I took a step outside of my apartment. They were all in awe and the world seemed to have gone silent. At first, they were hesitant to greet me but Ren, a nice as he is, said "Oh, Miss Satori, we haven't seen you in a while, not since you came over to dinner after Ko-Oh, sorry, about that." Smiling, I looked at him and said, "It's okay, no need to apologize. Can't live with the grief forever. We all cannot pretend nothing has changed, even when it has. Ren, Koishi is gone, I know and I have accepted that for what is but, even though some of the pain lingers, I cannot allow myself to wallow in it forever. I will always miss her and be reminded but I know I can't remain like this forever, for the remainder of my existence."

I visited with everyone all day. Having tea with Flandre and Remilia, then played a few games with the children, had lunch with Yuuka, dinner with the Yakumos, chatted with Suika, played cards with Kaguya, Methhead Mokou Shimmy, Ren, Ran, and Yukari "Three Shots and Sleeping Pills" Yakumo, getting acquainted with Ren's relatives, and kicking the crap Paintbrush Bitch. For the first time, in a long time, I was having the day was over and it was time to sleep, I had changed into my pyjamas, opened the window so I can see the stars, and climbed into bed, looking at the stars. For the first time, it seemed a weight had been lifted. The stars look pretty, tonight, and I think I can see Koishi's star.  _I wonder how tomorrow will be..._

* * *

The next morning, however, was a tad somber. Reimu wanted to say good morning to Satori and went over to her apartment to knock on the door, happily saying, "Wake up, Satori, wake up!" She figured she wasn't awake yet, so she left it be until they were out in the hallway playing and that was when we heard her sound more frantic, screaming, "Satori? Sattie? SATTIE!" before weakly saying, "Wake up, Sattie,...wake up..., please." We were worried so Yukari unlocked the door and we went to investigate what became of Satori.

What we had discovered is that she passed away peacefully in her sleep. No foul play, no suicide, no accident, just simply had fallen asleep and never woke up. She had let go of her grief, allowing her finally move on and be at peace. The pain still lingered but she had decided to move on. It seems, she had taught us a lesson and that, while it may be hard, we have to move one from the pain eventually. Of course, we can grieve, it's wise to do so, but we are going to have to leave the past behind and move on from the pain even thought it will linger. If it lingers, then, well, we will still have to push through and move on, not allowing ourselves to wallow in it. We must be grateful that we are still alive and that those in the sky will have wanted us to live. Like she said, we can't live the with grief.

We had her funeral in the forest and left her resting place be there. We had all mourned her but it seemed the children, save An and Yume Ni, for they didn't know her all that well, were hit the hardest, especially, Reimu, who was so sad and depressed that she had fallen asleep and remained like that for the rest of the day. It would be awhile before they can get over Sattie's death. Of course, Sattie was family and the death of a family member can feel like an eternal rainstorm.

Satori, wherever you are, if you can hear me, thank you. I've learned your lesson and I can only hope the others will learn it, too.

* * *

"It's An vs. Paintbrush Bitch!"

 


	61. An vs Paintbrush Bitch

Little An is as energetic as she is rowdy, looking for thrills, when and wherever possible. Of course, we have run ourselves ragged trying to keep her safe, just as we were doing Reimu. Fortunately for us, Reimu sleeps a lot, however, An doesn't, spending most of her time climbing on things and jumping off (Thank goodness for Cirno!) or running and jumping around. Sunup to sundown, she never seems to stop moving. According to Mother-in law, she is very similar to Indigo Flower when she was a child and she does look like her. Of course, like mother like daughter, however, according to Mother-in law, An is a bit more extreme with her thrill-seeking.

According to Mother-in law, she doesn't remember Ran doing even half of the things An does and neither does my father remember me doing something like that, well, nothing besides climbing trees and staying there. To be more specific, An sometimes like to choose fights and I remember the day she had picked a fight with my brother's ex-wife.I remember it because it was yesterday and An was looking for a degree of excitement, whatever the hell that may be. As a way of challenging her, she ran and headbutted the back of her legs. Of course, that had the effect of turning around to retaliate, to which An quickly said, "Bring it on bitch!"

The fight was amusing to watch to say the least and An emerged victorious.

* * *

"What the hell was that?!"


	62. Ghosts of Repressed Memories

Everyone has been rather agitated as of late and with due reason, of course, seeing as there have been some odd occurrences on this floor, even within my own flat. Objects have been vanishing, on top of bloodied handprints where there should have been none, and seeing strange figures, as well as the horrid stench of decomposed blood. To a certain degree, I will have shrugged it off, thinking little else of it being more than just mere illusion and the mind playing tricks, but it became clear this was no ordinary phenomenon. Overtime, whatever it happened to be was starting to escalate, making its presence known and...making it certainly clear that it is something to be dealt with.

This was especially clear when whatever it happened to be was starting spirit away Reimu. We would find her, disoriented and incoherent, even foaming at the mouth and speaking nothing but gibberish. The child was unharmed, of course, aside from that. What made that worse is the fact is that we all remembered seeing her no more than a second earlier. This sort of thing never had stopped and it continued, leaving us to wonder if perhaps the environment was responding to her presence with hostility, seeing as various other things do. It had become clear that wasn't the case.

* * *

In light of the strange occurrences, I found myself racing towards Chen, wanting no more than to see if she was alright. I suppose I could shrug it off as no more than a horrible memory of that day but the image seemed so real that I always thought it was her drowning under there. Of course, her suicide attempt wasn't all that long ago, as little Reimu still seemed to be reliving it, if she felt any need to wake her up. Nevertheless, it did give me an aversion to bathrooms but I know that I cannot keep trying to duck it forever.

If that wasn't on my mind, then the bloodied handprints and the sounds of a child's cries (or laughter) in the middle of the night were. Ran would go and check on the children, discovering nothing, yet we still heard the cries. Eerily, the children remained unaffected, well, except for Chen, who was unnerved, if not upset to the point of tears, which she was more often than not. She would be upset by cries but never could say what it was that had upset her. On the note of the bloody handprints, she seemed to be equally frightened by those, especially the ones that look liked they could be a child's. Besides the babies from previous litters and Ran's stillbirths, we don't recall any other child dying, yet there were bloodied handprints that sometimes came in the size of a child's, especially if they were in the children's rooms. Sometimes, they appeared, faded, on the rim of the bathtub, almost as if a person had attempted suicide there.

Overtime, they had grown more frequent and the children were starting to become more agitated, even more so when Alice comes down with a sudden and violent illness, something that not even Kaguya could diagnose or has even seen, and Pug stops barking, becoming silent aside from whimper. Some kind of presence was here and it...meant...business.

* * *

Sometimes, I cannot help but to wonder if I am going insane, doubly so since I am been seeing an image of a white-haired child, wrapped in a red blanket, either sitting or crawling, and, along with that, feeling as if it were the coldest winter again. She usually only appears at night, sometimes, singing and, other times, muttering. One one such night, I decided to try and catch her but, to my horror, when I attempted to catch her she disappeared, leaving behind the red blanket and something along the lines of "Suffer your guilt" written in blood.

I later on found myself anxiously waiting for her presence. Said presence was replaced with an infant, also wrapped in a red blanket, letting out pained wails. Like the other, this one disappeared if I had come too close, only this one was replaced with the presence of a child, standing with her back turned and looking out of a window. That presence became more frequent, though, once, she did turn around, revealing her eyes to be bandaged, and pointed a finger at me, whispering, in a familiar voice, "Am I dying?"

* * *

Once again, I find myself plagued with horrible memories of what that fat bastard and his mooks did to me. Said memories seem to have taken lives of their own, screaming and cackling, like a kerakera-onna. Of course, that is what she may as well be, since she is no more than the cackling ghost of memories I yearn no more than to forget, yet still tormented by them, that is, the cackling mad ghost of someone's lover ("lover" is a euphemism, be that noted). Let this be known, I wasn't given a much of a choice in the matter.

Of course, she isn't the only one, as there is another one that take Ran's shape, only fatter and with bloodied wrists. Sometimes, I've seen her scratched up and battered, wearing bloodied and torn clothes. She has a similar function in that she does scream, cry, and cackle but that she is much more hostile, throwing thin blades and kitchen knifes, as well as scratching the children in the face or, in Yu's case, the neck. She doesn't attack Ran herself but she does attack Ren, as he suffers scratches on his back, black eye, two tails, and missing hairs, as well as the fact that he's "had the piss beaten out of him" (that is exactly as he said it) and was kicked right in the balls. Unlike the other one, she is also seen and usually takes the form of an apparition, while the former is mostly heard (so far I've only seen her once). If she wasn't hurting people, then she was crying hysterically and begging for forgiveness, the which for whatever that may be, or looking frantically for something, if not singing or muttering.

In the end, I am not entirely sure which is spiriting away Reimu and which is leaving behind bloody handprints, though I assume it to be the latter. However, I do know one thing and that they will have to be dealt with. How? I don't know but they will have to be dealt with before...or...after something terrible happens. For now, I muse over my horrible memories, the very memories that brought that kerakera-onna into existence.

* * *

Sometimes, I see the black mist with red eyes. I don't know what it wants but it always comes for me. If it doesn't show up, then she does. She scratches us and, once, scratched Yume Ni almost deep enough to render her unable to speak or, for that matter, kill her. She wasn't pulling any punches with that one and she wanted us to get the hell out. She didn't attack Reimu or the babies or didn't seem to but she did attack us and make Alice sick. She was making herself known and she seemed not to like us so much.

After being tormented by her for so long, An, in a terrified frenzy, ran out of the room and out of the apartment, into the hallway. After Maribel's bed was flipped over and Renko was thrown across the floor, we made a break for it. As we were running to the door, knifes, shoes, videotapes, books, building blocks, and even the side table with the flower-pot was thrown at us. We made it out but that wasn't without one of us pissing ourselves. Of course, it had occurred to us that we had left someone behind.  ** _REIMU!_  **No, we couldn't go back it there. Reimu was going to have to fend for herself. Even though we were in the hall, she wasn't finished with us yet, as she had dropped a spinning bloodied kitchen knife in front of us.

Once it stopped spinning, Sakuya said, "We have to go back in there and get her!" to which Marisa said, "Uh, no, we don't, dude, Reimu's gonna have to fend for herself." Naturally, the others, including myself, nodded along with her and agreed, with Maribel saying, "Reimu's doo-med, we can't go back and get her.

"Not without getting killed!"

"Or, having to face her again."

"Muh!"

"Wha Youmuh said!"

"On top of that she just threw a table at us! Did you not see that?!"

"Yes, yes, but Reimu's apart of the family, too! If we escape, then she should be allowed to come, too!"

"Well, who's gonna go back in there?"

With skinny legs and scratching toenails, Shroom came racing out of the door, as did Cirno, who peed a little on the floor. Soon after, Ran-mommie and Ren-daddie came out, holding babies in their arms. Later, Yukari, with Shimmy and whimpering Pug, came out but Reimu wasn't with her.

Soon, everyone was out of their apartments but, again, Reimu wasn't with us. Did they take her again?

* * *

We all met in the center of the hallway to decide on what the hell to do. Of course, we couldn't and we really didn't know what really do besides shrink away in fear or what the hell else this presence was. However, during the meeting, something wasn't sitting right. I had noticed this to strange in that I've counted all the kiddies but there seems to be one missing. Oh! Reimu! Where's Reimu? She was nowheres to be found and I was scared stiff to think of where she could be.

Mustering up the courage, I interrupted the meeting and said, "Uh, we're missin' a kid." Everyone's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. Ren turned to the the kids and said, "We thought she was with you guys! Wait, was she?" Chen blinked and said, "No, she wasn't, we weft hew in the apawtment and we wewen't given a choice in the mattew, especiawwy since that entity thwew knives, shoes, videotapes, books, buiwding bwocks, and even the side tabwe wif the fwowew pot, awong wif dwopping a spinning bwoodied kitchen knife in fwont of us! Dewe is no way we'd go back in thewe!" We didn't really know what to do about that and there was a debate about who should go it. Without question, Suika walked in there but came out screamin'.

She was holding something. A blanket with bloody handprints. We asked if she had seen Reimu, to which she answered, "No, I haven't, actually, she wasn't in there!" She then showed the blanket, saying, "This was all I found, it's like she was never even in there. This blanket was barely wrinkled when I found it and the spot where Reimu would be sleeping wasn't even warm." This was it and the shit had hit the fan. It almost killed a kid and spirited away another presumably to never be seen again.

* * *

Whatever that was spiriting away Reimu didn't seem to have any sort of intentions on relinquishing her. No, the last times she was spirited away, we would find her but, this time, we weren't going to, meaning this entity had to be stopped, before it claims any more of us, but how?

As we trying to take in what may have happened to Reimu, in the heat of denial, Cirno said, "Maybe she got out somehow?" Ran shook her head and said, "No, we will have known if she did, as there is no way she would have gotten out of her crib without falling to the ground, not without making a noise." We didn't know what this entity was or even how to deal with it but we knew something had to be done or else more will be lost.

As we were trying to our heads around what this entity was or entities were and whilst Yukari remained silent, Flandre came foreward with a book saying, "These entities are poltergeists." Chen blinked and asked, "Wike the Pwismwivew Sistews?" to which Yukari responded, "Sort of. Not exactly like the Prismriver Sisters but similar in that they are collections of paranormal psychokinetic energy stemming from something within the subconscious that manifests around an agent or agents and sometimes takes its form as an apparition in which that can be seen, rather than spawning from something dead. Unlike most poltergeists, these ones already took a fairly malevolent form and has already started to do damage."

"How do you get rid of them, then?" Suika asked.

"Oh dear, I was afraid of this. Anyway, it depends on what is causing them to manifest. In this case, they are manifesting due to repressed memories, the which of we have to overcome and come to terms with in order to vanquish them."

* * *

Slowly, we knew what we had to do but we knew we had better make it quick, as Ren was thrown up against the wall. The poltergeists seem to pick up on what was going on and they grew more hostile, throwing Mokou out of the window at the end of he hallway, causing a door to fall on Kaguya, clawing Renko, ripping hair out Sakuya's head, and knocking Yuuka unconscious. It was angry now and I could feel it. In the end, we felt powerless, cowering in fear, until...

...Chen screamed, as loud as she could, without her speech impediment, "LET IT GO!" Before her, materialized someone who looked like Ran, only fatter and with bloodied hands and wrists. Chen was crying now, saying "I woke up, Reimu, see? I woke up, just like I promised. I almost left you behind before, I'm sorry, but, see? I woke up, just like you wanted." Pointing to the figure, challenging her existence, she said, "You are not her, not any longer. No, that was long ago and I have to let it go now. She's made mistakes but with mistakes comes redemption which in turn leads to forgiveness and you are what resides. LEAVE us, you have what you've wanted so you should be sated. You've destroyed one child, which in turn destroyed another. You've almost claimed two lives and, yet, you've taken her from us, yet again. If taking her will set you at ease then fine, do it, but leave us in peace!" The presence squinted, smirked, and cackled, growing more and more violent, preparing itself to plague us one last time.

Turning her head, she turned to a white-haired little girl who took many forms, saying, "Guilt begone, you've lived, no need to stay any longer." She vanished leaving behind the a red blanket. She turned to the then unseen presence, saying, "You hurt and I don't know why but you don't have to tell me but you're going to have to come terms with that eventually." That crying woman stopped crying and disappeared. After about an hour, the figure that stood before her started to cry and then said,  _"I'm sorry, please forgive me."_  before finally disappearing, the feelings that lingered finally gone. From the whole ordeal, Chen had fainted.

The next day, we did eventually find Reimu, sound asleep, wrapped in a red blanket. When she awoke, she simply said, "I missed you." She had no memory of what happened and, for her sake, it was better that way. In the end, we did eventually reconcile ourselves with the pains of the past, relinquishing repressed memories, setting an end to it once and hopefully for all.

* * *

"You know, you may be a pain in the ass but I am happy to have gotten to know you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are curious, this chapter is narrated from multiple perspectives.


	63. But I got to know you

"Sometimes, Yume Ni, you're a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, well, so are you for running over my tail with your wheelchair."

"I told you for eleventh time that was an accident."

"Don't matter, it still happened."

"You know, you may be a pain in the ass but I am happy to have gotten to know you."

"Huh?!"

"I am happy I, at least, got to know you, you asshole piece of shit."

"Okay, what the hell do you mean?"

"I am happy I at least got to know you because, at some point, Ran-mommie had a litter before."

"HUH?! What happened to them?"

"They died, don't really know what happened, long before you came along, and I only know one of their names. One of their names was Yume and that is the only one I know so far, in fact, I don't really have much of a clue as to what they look like, besides what I was told, because I was blind when they were born. At least, I had gotten to know you and An, even if that were going to for a small amount of time. The other ones I really didn't get to know and they died before I could. You complain but you should be rejoicing that you are still alive, especially since that poltergeist came rather close to clawing out your throat, the injuries thereof will have killed you. Of your litter-mates, only you lived, yet, you complain. Mama Ran and An could have died, yet, they both lived and you still be rejoicing. Sure, I think you are a total pain the ass, which you are, then again, so is the rest of everyone else, but, you know what? I love you motherfuckers, anyway, even if you are all a bunch of pains in the asses."

* * *

"I found love, therefore, you should be able to, as well."

 


	64. Conversations and One-Upmanship II

I would think my brother would be a tad more mature but, no, once again, he's challenging me to something that isn't even a competition. Ever since he left his wife, he is quick to tell me that I've won and that he'll never find love again, even being envious of Mother-in law and father's relationship (it's an open secret, not that they have been secret about it). If I recall correctly, we weren't competing in anything, then again, I'm the one that allowed him to think that because he will not allow himself to think otherwise. Of course, he has always felt a tad threatened by my presence ever since I was born and, since he's the oldest, had more influence over my siblings, save me, which made his hostilities stemming from that.

It all started yet again when he came to visit, that, and to see if Mother-in law had any booze and cigarettes, as well as complain about his Romance troubles. As we all know, Mother-in law will not at all be happy if we give him booze and cigarettes, so I ruled those out immediately, saying, "If you want to find love, you aren't going to find it that way." to which he asked, "What hell do you know?"

"Well, first of all, those are Mother-in law's booze and cigarettes and, second of all, she'll have my ass, as she had explicitly stated that, unless she shares, we are not have any and neither are we to give someone else any. "

"Why the hell the not?"

"Because, A), their hers, and B), because she said so."

"Well, damn! Anyway, what'd you think of our new Mommy?"

"Who? Mother-in law? Well, I already know her and, frankly, it is rather nice to know her. She is rather cunning person, a magnificent force to be reckoned with, being the powerful youkai that she is, but, at the same time, she is kind and soft, like a flower. When I first got to know her, I found it rather hard to believe she hadn't married."

"Ever ask why?"

"No, stupid, because that is none of my business. Even though I didn't like your ex-wife and still don't, I never interfered, though I did state you could do better, doubly so for seeing you with a black eye and a missing patch of hair, yet I never intervened because, well, you'd be quick to tell to me be silent."

"Okay, smartass, explain the white-haired kid. Shouldn't she be getting a haircut?"

"Well, that's the thing, she won't allow it to be cut, so we decided to let her have it her way and she seems to be fairly content."

"That makes little sense, anyway, if you can love that thing, then there is something wrong with you."

"First of all, that "thing" is a she and, second, if you had gotten to know her, you would love her, too. Of course, you haven't tried to get to know her, since you and your then wife have spent most of your time taunting and tormenting her."

"Well, I'm right, and, on a note, how the hell is it you could find love and be happy, if you're the youngest?"

"That's a question without answer and, to be honest, you shouldn't feel threatened by my presence or what I've managed to accomplish. I found love, therefore, you should be able to, as well."

"How?!"

"Well, for one, stop finding other reasons to marry her besides love and devotion. If love and devotions are your reasons to marry her, then, well, you will find happiness as well. It's never too late to find love, even if you are nearing the end of your days. Of course, I do worry for Mother-in law and how she'll take it."

"Why so? She's gonna die, too!"

"Well, yes, at some point, if her border bending abilities are exhausted or otherwise, but she is the sort that tends to live longer than kitsunes, as well as the fact that she is younger than Father, who, be this is as noted, is well very old for a kitsune, though I haven't an real clue about how old she is, though, then again, I'd be foolish, as well as rude to ask."

"How the hell is that rude?"

"A), it might hurt her feelings, and, B), she's a woman and we know how that works, plus, she'd kick your ass if you so much as tried."

"No, she won't."

"Yes, she will, and, should you choose to do so anyway, please state your funeral arrangements."

"Yeah, yeah, anyway, another question, did she used to work in a red-light district?"

"No, not that I know of and, frankly, I haven't asked, then again, is it my business? No. On the note of red light districts, those are not the places to be looking for love."

"What would you know? Didn't you meet Ran in a red light district?"

"HELL NO! I met her like a normal person would meet another person and that was while she was out walking around, minding her own business. I look upon that day fondly, just I like do our wedding day."

"Eh..."

"Whatever. Anyway, if you want to find love, you have show how good of a spouse you are and how much you will love them. In your case, you've picked someone who is very unpleasant for not very good reasons, whatever those may be."

"Well-"

"Sex is not a good reason to marry someone unpleasant, no matter how good it is, and that and those sort and sorts of thinking and relationships will only lead to woe, much like it did you. Sure, you may have loved her but it seems she was interested in sex and whatever else, that of which also involves taunting Ran, rather than love. If it's just sex and no love, then that's NOT a relationship."

"Well-"

"There's no "Well-" in that. If you want to find love, then you're going to have to see past one's lechery and stop being a perverted ass."

"Hey!"

"At least, I am being honest and, frankly, it is true."

"Alright, smartass, why don't you play matchmaker?"

"Because, that is not my place and I don't really know anyone in which I could set you up with."

As I had finished, I noticed Cirno sitting there right by us, listening to what was said. She blinked her large blue eyes, gestured towards her companion, and said, "I think Doggy will like him." We turned to look at her companion, who, contrary to what we initially believed, was actually female. She yawned, rolled over, got up, walked to her spot in the kitchen, flopped down, and went to sleep. Baka eyed her and said, "She's a little fat, isn't she?" Of course, that caught her attention and caused her to retort, "I may be fat but I'm not stupid, stupid, and neither am I deaf." Baka narrowed his eyes and asked, "Okay, fatass, do you have a name?" to which she responded, "Yes, I do, it's Enoki, and I don't need to know your name, Baka." It was interesting, as it was amusing to see the two argue back and forth, before Enoki trudged in on her stilt-like legs, climbed onto the couch, sat up on her haunches, balled her paws into fists, and gave him about eight knuckle sandwiches.

Naturally, he opted to hit her back and did, eliciting from her, "Yowamushi!" to which he responded, "Take it back." They took their brawl into the hallway and it seemed to be even-handed between them. However, she came out victorious, saying, "Hah! That brawl was much more amusing than I had initially thought. To be honest, Baka-kun, a little baby could hit harder than you." She went back to her spot in the kitchen and had fallen asleep, content. As for Baka, he was embarrassed, saying, "I had lost to a woman. That's castrating." to which I responded, "No, it's not, I lost to my wife in arm wrestling over a the last bologna sandwich and she won."

"How?"

"1), she's kind of bigger than me, 2) she has nine tails, while, technically, I only have six, 3), she was pregnant at the time, and 4), she's also stronger and heavier than me, case in point being that she can pick me up with one hand. Besides, I took the loss gracefully and she decided to share. There's nothing wrong with losing to a woman and, to be honest, Enoki is right, in that a little baby can hit harder than you can, although Reimu isn't a baby and, from I am observing, you might want to move in that she is giving you the evil eye."

"Wait,-what?!"

"Yeah, she's giving you the evil eye, might wanna move."

Reimu was giving him the evil eye and, being that he hadn't moved, she made it an obligation to throw something at his head, that of which being a diaper filled with crap. "Reimu, not nice." I said, to which she responded with a, "Had it coming." Unamused, Baka said, "Once again, you win!" I rolled my eyes and ignored it, as we weren't competing against one another.

* * *

" ** _Do NOT call me WHORE!_** "

 


	65. 売女

It had been some time since Father-in law had passed away of old age and Yukari was heartbroken ever since. Of course, they were in love, so I never expected different but she never really did seem to be her old self, well, that is, minus being depressed. She was extremely depressed and it was hard to get her out of bed. If we did get her out of bed, then we couldn't get her into proper clothes, as most of time, she is in her lingerie and a large open nightshirt. For the time being, anyone competent mostly handled her landlady duties, as we could not figure out how to relieve her from her depression and heartache.

When we did get her out of bed, she would go right to crying, smoking, and drinking. If she wasn't doing any of the aforementioned, then she was staring out of window, as if waiting for her lost love. Of course, she was waiting for her love to return to her because her shattered heart will not have allowed her to believe otherwise. She knew he has passed, yet she still waited. Her joy of finding romance being the memories that bring her tears. If she does go out, she still doesn't wear normal clothes. In her depression, she just wanders around, whimpering, sometimes stopping at the door of the apartment that Father-in law lived in. Of course, when she did that, she would stand there for a little while, wishing he would open the door. She did that as often as she would spend her time looking out of the window. Naturally, I could sympathize, seeing as she felt undesirable due to her experiences at the warden's hands (may he burn in hell for that!) and had finally found someone who does indeed love her and, whilst she may have been a too shy at first, she loved him back, only to have him gone. The only sort of thing about that which brings her mind at ease is that she granted his final wish and that was to see the face she's hidden behind a veil and the fact that he is now with his beloved wife, who, according to Yukari, will always love.

However, something unexpected did happen one such time she had gone outside in the hallway. Yukari was neither sober nor was she drunk but she clearly wasn't in her right mind, not in any sort of state to put up with any irritation or insult, and Paintbrush Bitch decided to make a crack about her being a whore, which had the effect of getting her attention, causing her to turn around slowly, take a large gulp of her liquor, walk over to her slowly, and ask, "What...did...you...say?" Paintbrush repeated what she said before, causing Yukari finish her liquor, burp loudly, shatter the bottle on the floor, and roundhouse kicked her across the hall, saying, "Do NOT call ME a WHORE!" She was near rabid, foaming at the mouth even, wanting no more than obliterate the source of her anger.

Cackling mad and foaming at the mouth, she staggered towards Paintbrush Bitch and, while slurring her speech, said, "Oh-ho-ho, you have some nerve calling me a whore, BITCH! I've sunk to levels that you can never barely manage to even crawl, let alone drag yourself, back from and I live with regrets that still eat and claw away at my very being, so do you seriously think I will take being a called a whore by a lowlife bitchy paintbrush of a kitsune who has no place to talk? HELL NO! I've been called that so many times that, after awhile of that and unbearable suffering, over and over and over, again and again and again, until I ultimately felt broken with little else to live for and wanting no more than to die, "Whore" may as well have been my name! Do NOT call me WHORE!" She kicked her again before storming off but allowed her to briefly see something that was on her hip. It was a scar in the shape of "売女", the kanji for "whore". Even though it could be ignored on any given time if it were seen, the significance of it was that scars do not fade so easily, just like they won't for her, especially with the suffering she's endured. She hid it away once again, regained her composure, and walked away as if nothing had happened, only returning to clean up the glass from the bottle that she had shattered on the floor. She said nothing else and had nothing else to say. She was satisfied she had put someone in their place.

After that, even though it hurt, she had finally came to terms with her loss.

* * *

"What's all the commotion out here?!"

 


	66. Lost in the Forbiddens I

As I was making up a new batch of cold remedy, I found myself greeted by such a ruckus, which prompted me to go out into the hallway to investigate. Everyone was gathered around the door of one particular apartment. Upon further inspection, everyone was clamoring around the Resident Bitch and, going by the sounds of their voices, they were accusing her of something and it seemed they had proof. When I had asked what was going on, Alice turned to me and said, "Youmu says Miss Paintbrush let Reimu go outside!" to which I asked, "Uh, how does she know that?" to which she responded, "Youmu saw her let Reimu out." Saying "Muh!", Youmu pointed an accusatory finger and none of them were too far away from killing her. Taking in labored breaths and trying to keep up her composure, Ran asked, "What...have...you...done...with...Reimu?" while Chen was shouting, "Fess it up now, Bitch!"

It took a bit of clamoring before she finally said, in smartass nonchalant way, "Alright, fine, I DID let her out, giving her what she's wanted." This had the effect of pissing everyone else off and, frankly, I felt just as enraged because she had effectively snuffed out her life for petty reason, if there be a reason for it. When asked why, she responded, in a falsely innocent voice, "I did so because I wanted to give her something she's wanted, is that wrong?" It didn't take any of us long to realize that she had allowed Reimu outside as a way of exacting some petty revenge and we knew who she was exacting revenge against. Smiling a broken smile, Yukari said, "I'm serving up an eviction notice, whore, and, if you are not out of here in three days time, I will hang your blood drained corpse outside as a reminder of what will happen if I am crossed, understood?"

The next day, we haven't seen any sign of that bitch. She was wise to leave and Yukari wasn't lying about what she said. We set about our search for Reimu. We've searched for her everywhere, even the forest and sewers, but we never recovered her or any sign of her. When we did return home, we had a meeting about the last time we had seen her. According to Ran, Ren, and the other kids, they had seen her at small intervals of the day but most notably earlier that morning around breakfast and during lessons and a little before noon. If calculations are correct, then Reimu would have to have been gone for over five hours of that day. The rest of the meeting dragged on in where to look for her and we found our faces turned white as freshly washed and dried cotton sheets when Huzi mentioned the only places we haven't checked are The Forbiddens.

If Reimu managed to get there, then she may as well be as good as dead.

* * *

"Sakuya, do you think they're gonna find Reimu?"

"I don't know."


	67. Lost in the Forbiddens II: Promise

It hasn't been long since Reimu had gone and we were left almost fending for ourselves, as the adults are trying to devise a proper course of action on what to do, let alone, whether or not they should cut their losses and give up. Of course, I knew they weren't going to just give up and resign themselves to the worst. Sometimes, I found myself taking Ran's place, being "Big Sister Sakuya". However, I couldn't comfort Chen and it seemed that Reimu's absence caused her to fall ill. Reimu has only been gone for at least a few of days and Chen's health had already took a turn for the worst. She missed her and those two are very close, Chen knowing her since she was only baby. Like her, I could never imagine our family without her but, if Reimu is gone for good, then so will she.

When the adults left for their last deliberations, Marisa turned to me and asked, "Sakuya, do you think they're gonna find Reimu?" to which I responded, "I don't know." Yume Ni scoffed and said,"Well, for all we know, she could be dead and that'll be the end of it, just another candle blow out. If Reimu were as smart as the rest of us she wouldn't have trusted Paintbrush Bitch." Instead of saying her usual utterance, Youmu reached over and slapped her hard enough to send her staggering. At first, it seemed, Yu was going to hit her back but she held back. Peeing a little and with shaky legs, Alice pointed as her and said, "You're one to talk, especially since you do things without thinking! Sure, Paintbrush Bitch may have called her a monster but she simply thought she was just being nice by letting her go outside." We all came to the conclusion and kept that in our minds before bed.

* * *

After some deliberation, everyone else, save myself, Miko, Kosuzu, Kisume, Kaguya, Pug, and Shimmy, the latter of which Yukari insisted they stay, decided to leave in the night to go off and find Reimu. As I waved, they had left us and felt my heart sink. As far as I knew I was not to see any of them, especially Ren and Yukari again. To lose Reimu could her and, as for Ren, he could so easily be killed in a place like that, thus I resigned myself to what could happen. Reimu was gone and now most of everyone will be gone as well.

I trudged up the stairs and back to our apartment, going to bed, wondering what will happen to the children in the future. I suppose they will live just fine but Reimu, her future remains unsure. In this time and age, I could simply say she doesn't really have one, as mental illness may be the sort of illness that kills her eventually. I can only hope for the best.

* * *

Time seems to have passed quickly and we still haven't found Reimu. We have been in The Forbiddens for some time and we haven't recovered that child with long-hair of moonlight white. With long hair and a bell tied to her wrist, I would think she would be a tad easier to find but, no, she isn't, then again, the sun, let alone the moon, barely shines in this place, it being so polluted to the point of clouding the sky. If anyone could live in these places, they may as well suffer illness and asthma, it being so hard to even breath. Knowing Reimu's health, she as well have fallen ill and died. NO! I mustn't think such things, maybe someone was kind enough to take her in this time.

Time passed and we still searched, never finding barely a trace of her, yet we were still determined. When we had met back at our hiding place (an abandoned whorehouse) to debate on what will get us answers, Ren rubbed his eyes and said, "I think we should do this Yakuza style." When asked, he answered, "It's where you use violence to make them talk and to get the answers you need, which is pretty much how we're going to find her." Not seeing any other way around it, we decided to try it the next day.

Wandering around, Yukari held up two things. A firearm and a the most recent picture she has of Reimu. If someone proved they were lying and or deceiving her, she would shoot them where she saw fit but remembered not to kill them as she wanted answers. The first once she's done this to and had gotten answers was a couple of days ago, when she asked the local sleaze if he had seen a little girl fitting Reimu's description. At first, he taunted her, stating, "If you want answers, then you're going to have to make it worth my while." to which Yukari responded by shooting him in the knee and twice in the arm, before smiling sweetly and asking again, to which he quickly responded, "Alright, I'll tell you, the last time I had seen her was when she was wandering through town and one of the madams took her."

"Oh-ho-hoh, tell me, sweetheart, darling, now where is this madam?"

Pointing down the road, he said, "Go down that way, take a left, continue, and take a right." We followed his directions and found ourselves in front of a brothel. Without hesitance, Yukari instructed us to wait outside and came out about an hour later. When we asked her what it was she had found, she answered, "Well, she has seen Reimu but states that she no longer has her there but did tell me where I could find "forsaken" children, as she has no clue where Reimu could be." We went to that place. Of course, said place was both orphanage and hospital which had more dead and dying children than it did living ones. With this one, Yukari didn't have to threaten, rather, all she really had to do was hold up the picture, make a little deal, and ask.

* * *

She studied the picture, handed it back to Yukari, and started to lead us around the hospital, calling out the name "Aiji" and clapping her hands. At first, Remi and I didn't understand why she was calling Reimu that but it did occur to us that she simply didn't know Reimu's name and gave her the name "Aiji". Of course, I figured maybe she didn't know what else to call her but Remi pointed out that "Aiji" is a term of endearment that Ran, Ren, and Yukari would call the other kids. This woman loved these children, Reimu-Rei included. After searching about the place, she finally found her, saying, "There you are, Aiji! I thought you had got out again." She walked into the room and came out holding Reimu in one arm and something else in the other.

Bringing her closer to us, she said, "Little Aiji here has been rather sick off and on and, a few times, she has gotten out before but she never gets far, especially with the I.V. drip. Interestingly, she hasn't tried to pull it out like all the other babies here." Blinking her blinded eyes, she briefly turned her head towards us. Her white hair still remained long and uncut but it was braided and tied up in a bun. She was wearing a large white dress with faint pink flowers. That woman went on to say, "She has been a very well-behaved child, though she does have a few issues with swatting at the other children and, sometimes, trying to get out. I found her sleeping out in the streets curled up next to a dog so I brought her in gave her a bath, put her in some new clothes, and fed her. As aforementioned, she has been rather sick on and off." She then handed her to Yukari. Knowing Yukari, we figured were just going to leave but she had proved us wrong and help up her end of the promise, saying, "I'll get you out of here, as promised."

As promised, Yukari gapped the orphanage and hospital out of The Forbiddens and closer to our location. As for Reimu, she did become well, as did Chen. So far, aside from Reimu's health problems, life had turned back to normal.

* * *

"Ran-mommie, will Reimu see the future with us?"

 


	68. Something is Just so Different About Her

Ever since Reimu came home, she hasn't really been very much different and neither was she too much the same. Her health problems were recurrent, having been in The Forbiddens for a rather long time, as long as her comprehension could process. Naturally, this was going to be slow in that she had just recovered from an illness and has to readjust back to her surroundings. Like usual, she slept a lot and, sometimes, seeking cuddles. However, something just seemed so different about her. I couldn't place any fingers on it but I knew something just seemed so different about her.

As I watch her I couldn't help but to wonder what was so different about her. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that her communication is like a toddler's or maybe it had something do with the fact her eyes never opened. Actually, I don't remember the last time I had seen them, as being near blind she also doesn't really need them. Either way, something just seemed so off about her. I never could seem to figure out what it was. Maybe it was just the pain of being without her for so long, yet knowing she could be lost yet again. It was like before. I was separated from her for a rather long time, making her "lost", yet I was reunited with her, but seemed to lose her again. This happens often and I don't really know when will be the next time but I can only hope it is won't be the final time. I suppose it really is that. The pain of having someone only to lose them yet again. In feeling something is so different about her, I feel a sharp pain in my heart as well as slight wedge between us, then again, that seems to be the case with almost everyone she's formed a bond with. Something about her is different, yet I cannot really seem to piece together what it was.

As I was trying one day, she calmly walked up to me and asked, through smile and tears, "Am I dying?" before patting my hand and going about her business. I was upset afterwards. I had finally figured out what so different about her, a change that had remained unapparent to me. Through illness and insanity, she readied herself to die and, even though that is what she's done, she didn't want me to be sad. As I cried in the night, I awoke Sakuya, who climbed down from her bed and promptly asked, "What's wrong?" I looked at her and answered, "Reimu asked me if she was dying."

"Whatever for? She isn't dying, sure, she was sick and has been here and there and she is a little nuts, but she isn't dying."

"It's because she knows she will and she doesn't want us to miss her."

"You mean,...she's given up on life?"

"I don't know but I think she has."

Sakuya said nothing else and climbed back up to her bunk, though she did climb back down to give me a handkerchief to wipe my tears with. Of course, my tears were like waterfalls and waterfalls cannot be stopped, just like my tears, not over that realization. I cannot imagine a future without Reimu, not after all the hell and chaos there has been before. With tears streaming down my face, walked into Ran-Mommie and Ren-daddie's room to ask a question. "Ran-mommie, will Reimu see the future with us?" I asked them. At first, they were confused but then it hit them like I did me and I had asked again to which Ran-mommie answered, "I don't know."

She didn't know. None of us knew. I was inconsolable and had spent the rest of the night crying myself to sleep.

* * *

"What we did, we take to the grave!"

 


	69. Mom-Mom's Locket

Da-ze! One time, Yu, being the jackass that she is, thought it'd be funny if we played a prank on Mom-mom and that involved going into her jewelry box. I was against it because I was afraid Mom-mom would look me right in the eye and say, "Mom-mom hates you." but, no, Yu insisted we play a prank or else she'd smash our teeth in, so we did as she said. We went into her room walked up the stairs and Yu reached into her jewelry box and pulled out a large heart-shaped locket. It was really pretty and must have been very special for Mom-Mom not to wear it all the time. Of course, Yu the jackass doesn't care about that and she decided to hide it from Mom-Mom and blame someone else for it.

When Mom-Mom went to look for it because she wanted to show it to someone, I knew we were fucked because she was pissed and demanded to know where it was. I insisted on telling to which Yu responded, "What we did, we take to the grave!" I looked her right in the eye and said, "Smash my teeth in but we are gonna be fucked, either way, whether I tell her or don't and Mama's gonna know you were hittin' folks again, especially since I'm gonna tell her, when she asks about my teeth." She motioned to hit me but we had both noticed Sleepyblind Reimu standing in the doorway, wearing something shiny.

It was the locket! Singing that lullaby of hers, she walked off, though she briefly came back to point at Yu before leaving again. "She's tellin' on you, da-ze!" Alice peed and said, "Yuh-huh, she-" Yu cut her off by punching her hard enough where she's shat herself. An rolled her eyes and said, "Someone's going to smell that." She was right in that someone could smell it and did. Mom-Mom did and she said, "I should have known it was you and one of your pranks, oh well, Reimu's returned my locket to me." She promptly removed the locket from around Reimu's neck and opened it, showing almost all our pictures in it. She left the room but came back to say, "Oh, Yume Ni, please clean up the poop and pee and I will inform your mother you were hitting the other kids again."

* * *

She is near blind  
Leaving her eyes closed, hiding them away from the world  
However, when she opened them  
She revealed them

To be an ethereal shade of moonlight-blue


	70. Moonlight Blue (poem insert)

She is near blind  
Leaving her eyes closed, hiding them away from the world  
However, when she opened them  
She revealed them

To be an ethereal shade of moonlight-blue

Attracting curiosity, yet telling a story

* * *

"You're mother was a baby, I was baby, Chen was a baby, Reimu was a baby and pretty much still is one, we were all babies at some point, now stop acting like a spoiled brat!"

 


	71. Sibling Rivalry

Yu never liked sharing, especially when it came to attention. Of course, our attention when it came to the children was rather divided and she didn't like that. She never did, then again, what child does? We often tried to give the children the same amount of devotion but between babies and an often ill child, on top of the fact that there are a little over twelve children living in this apartment, so trying to give her some attention is rather difficult. Nevertheless, that didn't stop her from acting and doesn't mean she can act like a spoiled brat, especially when trying to get attention. To be honest, I do feel rather awful that she has to be pushed aside but it has to be done, just like before. However, she needn't feel too bad as not everyone is the center of attention.

As we had already known, Yu could be unpleasant, though her desire for attention and feeling perceived rejection seemed to be causing her to behave rather badly. The worst of the behavior so far that was seen was her trying to throw Reimu (hooked up to an IV) over a railing out of annoyance, mainly at her situation, as well as a grudge towards the former for attempting to stab her with scissors (that has been dealt with). Fortunately, I had seen her and managed to stop her before she could succeed. Something in me told me to keep this from her parents and deal with it myself. The most minute of this behaviour I had seen was taking things from the other kids like food or toys. If she had hit the other children, then I would be quick to intervene. After some time, I didn't have to intervene, as they had started to hit her back, having grown tired of her hitting them. I've had too many fist fights to break up from this. Eventually, they had taken to ousting her out of the apartment.

In one final attempt to be noticed, she decided to run away, to which I decided to pursue her. It was in the dead of night and I haven't drank. When I caught her at a spot, I startled her by asking, "Running away, are you?" She turned to look at me and said, "Yes, whatzit to ya', you old bitch?" I thwacked her across the face, saying, "That was impolite but, right now that is not the issue, anyway, I've come to bring you home."

"Like hell! I will not go back there, no, I will go somewhere where I'M the center of someone's attention!"

"Oh, and sadden your parents, especially since they have lost your littermates. Sure, you don't like being pushed aside, no child does, but, however, that doesn't mean they love you any less."

"..."

"I know it has been rather hard on you but, listen, not everyone in the house is the center of attention, sure, your little siblings may be babies and Reimu may be sick most of the time but no one is truly the center of attention and everyone is loved equally. If anything, you should be happy you are no longer a baby or that you aren't sick most of the time. There are things you can do that your baby siblings wish they could do and, to be honest, I don't think Reimu likes being sick most of the time, especially since she doesn't like being different from the other children. If you run away, your parents will be upset and this is not a good way to get noticed, after all, not many will consider sparing a child."

She sighed and took my hand, admitting defeat, saying, "Let's go home."

* * *

"Sure, that could happen to her but, if these be final years, shouldn't you be happy that you've made her final years her most happiest?"

 


	72. Her Future, Her Sadness

From what could be observed, Chen was suffering from a case of alopecia but the source of such stress and sadness the others had yet to find out. I knew it had something do with Reimu, who had recently recovered from an illness that required her to be hooked up to a little baggy on a pole. Of course, the little was often sick before and after she had gotten home. On the note of recurrent illnesses and mental illness, it makes us question exactly how long will she live. This wasn't hard to tell exactly why and how it this sort would cause so much upset. From what I could see, these two have been together through thick and thin and it would be heartbreaking for either to say goodbye so soon. To cut deeper, one has already readied herself for that, as if nothing can really be changed, and the other remains devastated, lost in sadness.

Of course, said sadness made her withdrawn and, secretly, she would cry. I had noticed this, as she had started doing this at night, so no one could really see or hear her. I could though, so I sought to comfort her. As she sat in a corner, not far from the sofa, in her wheelchair, sobbing, the breeze from the cracked blowing through her thinning wispy brown hair. As my nails clattered on the floor, I moved towards the sofa and climbed onto it. When she seemed to have finished, I asked her what had upset her to which she stated, "Reimu. If she doesn't have a future, then I don't want one either!"

"Oh, okay, I see but maybe you should see it a different way. Rather than mourn before its time to, why not just celebrate what little time you have left with her and make her her happiest, if her life is short?"

"Huh?"

"Sure, that could happen to her but, if these be her final years, shouldn't you be happy that you've made her final years her most happiest? I mean, even if she be sick most of the time, is near blind, and is mentally ill but she seems to be pretty happy, aside from those things. If Reimu were to pass away early, then I am pretty sure she would be more than willing to wait for you to join her and that she would want you to continue your life, not shorten it, as well as the fact that she'd be grateful that you've made her happy."

*sniff!*

"Think about it this way, if Ran were severely ill, then she will not have wanted you to be sad, rather, she would want you to live and continue your life, same thing goes if that be anyone else. She's accepted the possibility that she may not live for very long but, at the same time, acknowledges nothing can really be done about but, as we can see, she enjoys life anyway. Whilst you are sad, you should try to enjoy her whilst you still can and be happy, as well as make her final years, if these truly be them, her happiest."

* * *

"Knowing you, I'd hit you with that thing, too."


	73. Conversations and One-Upmanship III

Once again, my brother thought it'd be fit to antagonize Reimu, who, surprisingly, responded by lifting up her I.V. pole and whacking the hell out of him with it. Apparently, the I.V. pole wasn't too heavy for her, seeing that she could lift it and bring it down on his head . Fortunately, she wasn't hooked up to it rather, whilst he laughed at her, she calmly walked off, went to where she remembered it being, and came back to hit 'im with it. Of course, Baka told me, "Like I said, if you can love that thing then there is something wrong with you."

I handed him a frozen piece of meat to put on his head, saying, "For the umpteenth time, that "thing" is a "she" and, honestly, asshole, you've had this coming. I've told you that, if you continue taunting the children, then eventually they are going to fight back and Reimu did exactly just that, though I'm surprised she didn't crack your skull with the force she used to pick it up and bring it down on your head."

"Shut-up! How come she never hits you with it?"

"Because, I don't really do what you do, that, and she knows me better. Anyway, I think you'd be better off not bullying her anymore, she's suffered enough."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, for one, she's mentally ill and, two, she is ill most of the time, both of which she is aware and that we are aware of as well. Of course, both of which make her life passed this uncertain and it would do some good if you didn't treat her the way you do."

"Wait, is she terminal?"

"No, not that we know of but, then again, that might come in the future. Either way, we would be damned if we allowed you to pick on her. First of all, she isn't a monster or whatever else horrible that you seem to abhor her for, she is just a little girl who is mostly a danger to herself more so than anyone else, and, two, while she may be the cause of some trouble, she is still no different from any other child. I mean, I have never seen you treat any of the other children this way, though you do bully them, but you tend to bully Reimu even viciously than the rest of them, then again, she's used to it. On a note and you had better get this through your thick skull and make clear note of which it is I am saying to you now, you can bully Reimu one minute and, yet, she'll still trust you the next, so, in no way, are you to violate that trust or place her into harms way and, if you do, well, we will never at all hesitate and will act as we see best, be you my older brother or not. Your bitch ex-wife did that and that explains why she is sick most of the time and it's a good thing she had high-tailed her ass out of here."

"..."

"Anyway, maybe you should get to know the kids better, then, maybe, you'll change your mind."

He didn't object, though, frankly, I thought he would. Of course, the first one we had to make him get to know was Reimu, who was asleep by that point. When she awoke, she sniffed him and promptly said, "Oh hi." She blinked her moonlight-blue eyes before closing them. Her interactions with him were rather limited but, true to before, she didn't hesitate to trust him. Perhaps, besides the fact that he bullied her, she didn't find him interesting, in either smell or sound, making him too mundane for her tastes, thus she didn't want to know him. If he showed any signs of being interesting, then she might be more inclined on getting to know him. She was like that, so I didn't expect otherwise. Of course, she was usually too sleepy to care about much of anything that doesn't concern any sort of her needs, so this wasn't any different.

The second one we had to make him get to know was Chen. She had been rather withdrawn, depressed, over what could happen to Reimu. She was none too interested in any sort of interaction, seeing that she had distanced herself from everyone. I pointed out that she had been rather depressed to the point of losing her hair, thus she might not be interested in any sort of interaction, though that didn't stop him and she responded thusly, stating she wished to be alone.

Maribel and Renko were the third and fourth ones. Naturally, they started off by playfully teasing him but then they stopped, wanting no more than to look and pull at his hair. When he told me to make them stop, I promptly responded, "No, just let them do that. They still retain some infantile traits and will do that but they'll stop." They stopped and Renko chirped a little song.

Youmu looked at him, wiggled her nose, and said, "Muh?" She was naturally a little shy, preferring to keep close to Reimu, squealing, "Muh! Muh! Muh!", rather than letting Baka get near her. "Yeah, she doesn't really know you and you might make her cry, in which case, that wouldn't be good." I stated, pointing out Youmu's shyness. That brought him over to Marisa, who ran away and hid, being too shy to even look at him. When I pointed out that Marisa is very shy, he asked, "Well, why did you adopt her?"

"Actually, at first, it was the other way around, she adopted us and we came together as a family, accepting her as ours."

"How'd that come about?"

"She followed Ran around, calling her "Mommy", never at all thinking otherwise or being frightened by the thought of a kitsune, particularly one covered in scars. That was when she was two and was still human, though she didn't act any more rowdy that a typical kitsune pup and neither did she seem to see herself any different"

I found myself interrupted when Yume Ni, the resident smartass and bully, shouted, "Hey, ain't ya gonna tell 'im 'bout me? Huh, wise guy?" I gestured towards her, to which she said, "Eh, don't say nothin'! Anyway, my name is Yume Ni Yakumo and everyone is my bitch. Anyway, I wanna give you two punches to the arm and you had better take it like a man 'cause here's my rule: Two for flinching, four for Bitching and you can't hit back." She then started to laugh but found that coming to a halt when Sakuya said, "Don't listen to her, she's just a kid with a hitting and an anger problem. I'm Sakuya Izayoi and I'm the oldest and biggest and, frankly, don't let her hit you because she never stops."

"You can shut the hell up!"

"Hell no, YOU can shut the hell up! You do have an anger problem and you bully the other kids, especially Youmu and Reimu, although, in Reimu's case, she can take your punches."

"Does that explain the bruises on Reimu's arm?! I told you to stop!"

"Shut up, Ran!"

"What di- Don't make me come in there!"

"Yu, I would probably stop if I were you because she's gonna make good on what she said."

"Oh yeah, well, let her!"

Before another word could be uttered, Ran, almost like a bolt of lightning, came in here, grabbed Yu by the scruff of her neck, and left out. It was almost about five minutes of silence when we heard a little scream. It was An enjoying herself by jumping from something, landing right on Baka's head. It wasn't hard for him to get to know her, seeing as she was already known around the building. Of course, she knew him, too. With boisterous curiosity came Sanae or, as we tend to call her, Taddie. She wasn't at all shy, as she hurried to him rather boldly and kicked him right in the shins. She usually never kicked people in their shins, unless, of course, she felt they were bullies, in which case, she decided to kick Baka under that pretense.

More interested in playing with her dolls, Alice remained oblivious to Baka's presence. She was a rather reclusive child, so her playing with dolls uninterested in everything else. Of course, when she was interested, she greeted me with a curtsy and turned to Baka, greeting him with a wide-eyed stare and peeing on herself. Stuttering, she worked up the courage to at least say, "Hello." before hurrying away.

He left, again saying, "Okay, you win!" I never could understand why.

* * *

"Chen, when was the last time you ate?"

"Three days ago. I eat every three days."

 


	74. Mourning a Loss that has Yet to Occur

Once again, Chen had been skipping meals. I've been after her to get her to stop but she still continues to do that. Of course, that made me question her health, especially since her hair had thinned. I knew she was depressed and, yet, I neither knew why nor how to help. She's spent most of her time aloof, preferring to sit in her wheelchair and look out of the window, at the sky, waiting for time to pass. She spent most of her time like that, apparently, hoping for time to speed up. She very seldom talked, except to state what she needed or preffered. It was hard talking to her, seeing as she normally didn't, thus I couldn't really help or even extend a hand of comfort, not that she would take it anyway.

Time passed and she showed no real signs of getting better, remaining withdrawn and staring out of the window. Day and night, she remained that way, staring out of the window. Her eating became a little less frequent (she wasn't eating sufficiently but she wasn't starving) and she was near bald. After some time of questioning and trying my hardest to find out the source of her sadness, I had realized that she was depressed over Reimu and would much rather die than face a future without her. Coming to that realization, I found she was mourning a loss that had yet to and possibly occur and that her behaviour started to make sense. The reason as to why she was waiting for time to pass is so she could see how long it would be before she would finally quietly pass away or, rather, she was trying to shorten her lifespan the only way she seemed to know how. Naturally, I felt her sadness, seeing as Reimu's future remains uncertain and it was difficult not to imagine something bleak and we could very well outlive her. If anything, I had come to some relief in that Reimu will have waited for us to join her and will have watched over us, forever, as well as the fact that we had loved her and made her final years happy, thus allowing her to die knowing that.

In an act of desperation, I decided to try to comfort her, whether she seemed to be okay with that or not. She was sitting by the window, staring at the nighttime sky, almost as if trying to count the stars and looking for a few empty spaces. Pulling up a chair, I sat by her, stroking what little hair she has. I hadn't said anything to her but she could tell I was there to comfort her and ease the pain she felt. I sat there with her, stroking her hair, us both looking at the stars above, listening as the clock ticked. For once, that time, it seems, time had stopped for a moment but then it continued.

* * *

_"Do you believe nightmares can come true?"_

 


	75. Kagome, Kagome

Sometimes I wonder if nightmares can really come true. I was told they don't but I think they do, especially, since I have been hearing voices again. It was another case of poltergeists, only these were different. They didn't seem to attack us, at least not as viciously as the previous ones did, nor were they spiriting away Reimu (yet) but they were not a wanted presence. Unlike the last time, Reimu seemed to notice their presence, seeing as she wasn't napping, but she didn't seem to be scared, then again, she doesn't seem to fear anything, not even Yume Ni's punches.

Of course, they were just beginning.

* * *

Usually, Reimu sleeps most of the time but as of recent she has been awake. She was sleepy but she was awake. The closest we would ever get to her sleeping is her going into death-like trances, which had the obvious effect of frightening us. Of course, we had never seen this sort of behavior before, then again, she did have catatonic fits but none were anything like this, leading for us to wonder if she was sick again. According to Kaguya's assessment, she wasn't and pointed out the trances aren't exactly characteristic with any sort of illness, unless it was one effecting the brain, in which case, she will have died already or would otherwise be rendered bedridden.

Reimu's strange behavior wasn't the only thing on my mind, the strange voices were, leading me to wonder if we had yet another poltergeist hauning and we were wondering what could have manifested them. Of course, not all of us could come to terms with the past, allowing some lingering feelings to remain restless, leading for them to take on a life of their own. I have had yet to see any one them with a physical form but I do know they're there.

However, one of them haunts me and it is the one that sings "Kagome, Kagome" in a familiar but pained voice. Of course, if that voice wasn't singing, "she" (the voice in question is feminine) was screaming and crying out. It wasn't very long for said voices to take the form of apparitions. So far, I had only spotted one of them and that manifestation had come in the form of a two-year old in a purple blanket. At first, I figured she may have been one of the other children living on the lower floor but it had become apparent that she wasn't, especially when she seemed to teleport from one place to another, screaming even louder, like baby crying out for someone to hold them.

* * *

Chen has been having these really weird "flashbacks" and she almost drowned in the bathtub twice and would have otherwise if we didn't pull her out. To make it worse, she has no memory of how she even got near the bathroom in the first place and she would even get in there if the door was locked (which it sometimes is) and the keys weren't missing. We didn't know what to think, except besides Yukari sleep gapping things, although she wouldn't make that mistake twice, so that wasn't it. We never really would find out.

That isn't the only weird thing that was occurring, as Yume Ni was pulled into the closet and she was found I think three days later. That happened again, except it was An that got pulled in and we never found her. It's been about four days since that has happened. Of course, Youmu tried to tell them but they shrugged it off her as seeing things and the results of her imagination and figured An might have got out, making them go out and look for her. The fact that Youmu only says, "Muh!" didn't help. I believed her because I had seen it, too, and not even a two-year old would make that up. If An had really run away then we will have found her, her remains even, and we have yet to.

I can only hope An isn't dead and that Chen will stop having those flashbacks or else she'll drown to death when we don't help her in time.

* * *

Either I could be seeing and hearing things or I must question my own sanity. Sometimes, I see a white-haired woman in a white kimono, the opening edges of said kimono sleeves and collar stained with blood, walking around. She is crying out, I know, singing "Kagome, Kagome" , except to a couple of the verses are changed to asking, "When will I come out?", instead of "When will it come out?" and saying, bitterly, I must note, " I know who stands behind!" instead of asking, "Who stands behind?" I couldn't really piece together which part of who's psyche she may have originated from. Unlike the previous she didn't really seem threatening, although, she did have a habit of frightening those that saw her, possibly driving them to insanity. As with all things of her sort, her presence is very hard to ignore and is something that must be dealt with.

* * *

I often did wonder when again will my memories and secrets come back to haunt me but it seems that now is the time and they have come back with a vengeance or so I think. I have many regrets and I have made many mistakes, the many of which I shall continue living with for the remainder of my existence, never at all denying them in death. If I chose to end the misery that plagues me in life with death, taking my secrets with me. Of course, as often said, the truth will have set me free but at what cost is freedom in that a bond is destroyed. I would damned if I had admitted my guilt and I am still damned I hadn't.

That two-year old in the purple blanket still cries out for her parents, wondering why they've left her, what she's done wrong, and whether or not she'll see them again. She never did see them again and they've left her...left her with a shattered heart, the pieces of which she still picks up, 1, 200 or so years later. "Why?" is all she asks, just why? She still cries out, hoping for them to come back, not knowing they never do and they never will. She had so much love to give, yet they left her all alone, making an empty promise, leaving her to fend for herself, not giving a damn if she had died or not. They just left her and she never knew why.

She still sings "Kagome, Kagome", even though that caged bird has long been free. Of course, she may be free from her prison and the ones that abused her but not from her past or the mistakes she's made. Sometimes, ghosts, restless souls, make mistakes. I wonder, can poltergeist do the same? An was spirited away, so who would be next?

* * *

In light of strange occurences, I had noticed Chen seems to have suffered from delirium or so I think. It was difficult to tell but I knew something really wasn't right, then again, she has been depressed for quite some time, as well as the fact that she's been having nightmares. However, I think her depression and her nightmares has started to manifest themselves in the forms of apparitions that wander the halls at night. Apparently, she's remembered a few things she'd much like to forget.

One apparition took the form of Ducks, wearing a white underdress or nightie, the bottom stained with blood. Of course, if I remember, Ducks had almost passed away giving birth to An. One apparition took the form of little Reimu hooked up to a drip chamber, except the drip chamber looked more like an hourglass. Sometimes, those two specific apparitions change form, each form representing what Chen was afraid of the most.

* * *

_Kagome, Kagome_

_Watashi ga dete kuru toki wa_

_yoake no ban ni_

_tsuru to kame ga subetta_

_Watashi wa ushiro ni tatte dare ga shitte iru!_

* * *

That singing never stopped and things are starting to get a helluva lot worse, especially, when Yume Ni was pushed down the stairs by something we couldn't really see, and the fact that someone has been writing things on the wall in blood. I know it ain't one of us, as none of us were bleedin', but something was and it was writing things in blood. The blood on the walls isn't the only thing, 'cause sometimes, I see what I think is dead people walking the halls and the things in my nightmares.

They creep closer and closer, whispering things that it seems only I can hear. "You cannot evade us!" I heard from one and, from another, I heard, "We are close, close, close!" One time, I heard a voice that said, "Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, why don't you play with us...forever?" Soon it became more than just voices and, like madwoman on crack and meth and strung out in a frenzy like Methhead Mokou, she took our beds and threw us out of 'em. This was it and we had to get the hell out of there. Sakuya grabbed Reimu from the floor and I put Chen in her wheelchair and we got the hell out.

As we were running, we were hounded by two girls, one of which was wearing a white dress with blood on it holding surgical scissors and the littler one in a purple blanket (or was it a dress). It was hard to tell if they were the same or two different entities, then again, I didn't want to and both looked familiar, da-ze. As we fled from the two girls and the madwoman, we realized we had left Yume Ni behind but, then again, it was unanimously agreed that we'd leave her is push came to shove and we had to pick.

In leaving her, there was some debate on whether or not to go back in there to get but Alice did state, "We all decided that if push came to shove, we would take the ones that had the most needs, which is to say if we had to pick we would take Reimu and leave Yume Ni!" That did bring the debate to a close and we decided to stay in the hallway. She did come out eventually as did everyone else, except Mom-Mom. It resolved itself." She grew angrier and angrier, howling her song, never at all resting. What did she want? We didn't know but we were terrified of her and those two girls, nevertheless.

_Do nightmares really come true?_

* * *

Yukari didn't come out of her apartment and, as things were going to hell, we waited for her. She didn't come out leading for us to wonder why. Naturally, we wondered if she hadn't awakened from her sleep, then again, that would be quite impossible since Yukari takes sleeping pills with liquor, leading for her to fall into a deep sleep and the end result is that, in order to wake her, one will have had to have put her on a cookie sheet, butter the bottom of it or something, ride it down the stairs, and, when the ride gets fast enough, jump off and leave her to crash into something, effectively waking her up or so I think it will, since it had worked for waking up Huzi during one of her blowouts.

As we waited, Reimu seemed to have awakened and started sayin' something strange. With closed eyes and whilst sitting with her hands held in a strange position (almost as if holding something round), she whispered, "Wake up..." To our surprise, she opened her eyes and she had opened them wide and that was a prelude to her screaming, "WAKE UP!" her voice echoing like ghost crying out. That was loudest she had screamed and then she was silent, closing her eyes. As we watched, she had lifted herself up and walked down the hall, to the window, opening it with unknown strength. Our first thought was that she was going to jump out of it but we had found that wasn't the case, in that she let in a little white bird. After that, she fainted, letting out a faint sigh. Upon first glance, we will have thought she was dead but thank goodness that wasn't the case. However, we couldn't rouse her. I gently placed her in Ran's arms and we still waited for Yukari.

* * *

As we waited for Yukari, ol' Fatass, Ran had enough, put Reimu in Ren's arms, and kicked that door open, determined to go and get Yukari out of there. She had been in there over an hour and, frankly, we couldn't really help but to wonder if she was still alive. She was in there for a little while, prompting Huzi and I to go after her and see what was up. Finding some things out of place and whilst experiencing flashbacks to a previous time, we crept through, looking for Ran and Fatass. When we got to Yukari's room, we opened the door and found Ran trying to get Yukari to come out into the hallway with us. Wailing and kicking like a madwoman, she made it clear she didn't want to come to the hallway with us, stating that, for her mistake and crimes, she wanted to suffer alone.

Not playing games, Ran demanded that Yukari elaborate to which she said, "You won't forgive me." She was then handed blade of some sort, with Yukari saying, "Act as you see best." Her eyes were as wide as saucers and she tossed the blade away, as if she understood what Fatass could be driving at. She wrapped her arms around her, saying, "It doesn't matter what you regret, I've long forgiven you of that and has put it behind me, though, while I may have come to terms with it, I can only hope you will do so, too."

As we watched a nice show of pure goodness, Mokou was hit with a baseball bat, being knocked out. Picking up Yukari, Rannie hurried out of there, as did I.

* * *

The screams and cries grew louder and louder, the apparitions taunting us, and the house started to shake. In all of this chaos, Reimu had awakened and, with baby steps, walked over to Chen, patting her hand and a breaking a point, she burst into tears and started to sob hysterically. "Baby Chen, sweetheart, someday, we all won't be here and that includes you as well. Yes, Reimu may pass away early and we know that, thus it makes us sad, too, but, at the same time, we shouldn't spend our time mourning the possible before it occurs, instead, we should be savoring what time we may have left, making it her happiest. She loves you and doesn't want you to be sad, thus she is telling you that everything will be okay." Ran said, holding her in her arms.

After that, the nightmare was over and the feelings seemed to be at ease. Yukari's regrets were calmed, as well as repressed feelings, and Chen had pulled out of her depression. As for Reimu, she's fine and An came back.

* * *

"Oh, if it isn't Fleabag Mamizou!"


	76. A Kitsune's Pity and a Tanuki's Envy

To my surprise, Mamizou "Fleabag" Futatsuiwa and, from what I could tell, she had been roaming around before ultimately coming here. I couldn't figure out her motives besides either looking for a place in which to settle or, alternatively, to taunt the kitsune in the area, including myself and my babies. Apparently, her motives were the former seeing that she came up to our floor to find Yukari, who was in no mood to deal with tenants until two Mondays from now. That day, I wasn't doing much, nothing besides watching the children play in the hallway, while folding clothes and keeping an eye on Reimu, who was sick, hooked up to an IV, and sleeping soundly, undisturbed by the noise. Naturally, when I saw her, I tried to pretend she wasn't there, which wasn't very hard, seeing I had other things to focus my attention on.

As much as I tried ignoring her, I found myself having to talk to her, anyway, but I wasn't going to take any insults laying down. Regaining my poise, I found myself answering her question, stating, "Okay, first of all, Yukari IS the landlady, thus I live here, actually, we live in the same apartment. On the note of living here, 1) you're going to need something valuable in which to trade and she doesn't take kids and, 2) you might want to wait until Monday after next, as she is no mood to deal with new tenants, especially in light of Reimu's illness." I gestured towards Reimu, who had just awakened to smell something unfamiliar. She took a deep wiff of Mamizou's scent and muttered, "Don't like that smell, needs bath." She pointed to Mamizou and repeated what she said the first time. I hadn't noticed the smell coming of that fleabag until Reimu had pointed it out. Actually, it wasn't just her smell I noticed, it was the fact she looked so bedraggled.

Her glasses were cracked, barely hanging on her face, and she seems to have lost some her brown hair. Her tail wasn't as bushy, actually, it seems to have been put through quite so many abuses that it was barely recognizable. Patches of her skin looked blistered and she had to have rashes or sores. Her clothes were dirty and ragged and she seemed to have lost more than a few of her teeth. With food being scarce as it is, it was inherently obvious how her shape reflected how little she was able to eat. As much as I didn't like her, I quickly looked away, pitying her. In comparison, I was the luckier of the two and she envied me, the which of she seemed to be vocal about. Of course, she did, which wasn't at all hard to see, as she was causing me to envy the deaf and the blind.

After ranting for some time, she had broken down and cried, falling to her knees, not even trying to compose herself enough to beg either for refuge or to even state what she needed. As she was crying, Yukari came out of the apartment to see what the smell and the commotion was, saying, "What the hell smells and sounds like something half dead crawled in here?!" She took one look at Mamizou before asking her, "Have you come here to antagonize Ran?" Weakly, Mamizou shook her head, to which she responded by asking, "Have you anything to trade?" to which she had shaken her head. Yukari narrowed her eyes and said, "Fine, I guess I can make an exception...for now. However, if you are to stay for as long as I allow it, then you'll require new clothes and bath."

Having Mamizou stand out in the livingroom, Yukari probed a box of extra clothes for her to wear before coming across a shapeless loose-fitting dress and underwear, stating, "In here, you wear panties and clothes, though, this is all we really have." She then gestured towards the bathroom, saying, "You also have to take a bath." After getting herself situated, she plopped down on the couch and started to cry once again. Finding herself curious and pulling the IV along with her, Reimu toddled over to her, her arms reaching foreward. She was reaching for Mamizou's hand, saying, "Don't cry, Maymie." She seemed to pick up on "Maymie's" grief over her situation and decided to extend her sympathies the only way she knew how, telling her that she isn't alone. In that moment, as I pitied her, her envy towards my situation seemed to dissolve, as did her bigoted opinions.

* * *

"I think we should go and live in the wild."

 


	77. Living in the Wild I

An is one of the sorts who would be her most happiest if she could, as she calls it, run free, though she couldn't really do that and presented and idea that we should all go live in the wild, where we can do what the hell we wanted and be able to roam free. Of course, to us it sounded good, as we figured it could be fun, I mean, what could be so hard about living the wild? It was in the dead of night when she brought it up and we had not yet fallen asleep, even Reimu being awake. Her eyes were sparkling like stars and she was painting a fanciful image of how much fun it would be.

As she spoke, Renko took the time out to tell her that she and Maribel used to live in the wild before meeting Yukari, saying, "Used to live in the wild with tweety birds but then came Mama who has pretty eyes. That was long ago." Of course, she and Maribel don't really remember much besides that but they do remember when they met Yukari. At the same time, that would also explain why the hell it is Wren chirps like a bird. After Renko finished, Chen, blinking her half-opened eyes, pointed to Reimu, saying, "What you say thounds nice but you have to rem'mber that not everyone can go..." As she had stopped mid sentence, Reimu for a second opened her eyes and said, "Telling." to which she quickly said, "Okay, let's take Reimu." Yu scoffed and said, "Fine, go, but they'll have your asses when they find you, as well as the fact that Reimu would die, since she already has one foot in the grave." In unison, we all said, "Shut up, Yu!"

After packing a few things, getting Reimu out of her crib, and quietly exiting the apartment, we took to pursue our new lives in the wild. Of course, when we got to the wild, we, except An, Merry, Wren, and Reimu, found ourselves scared. That was some time ago, and, honestly, I wish we had listened to that asshole, because, I wish we were home. It was fun for a bit but then our lives became difficult. Looking for food was a tad difficult and we had no real way of figuring out if something was edible or would kill us, as well as trying to keep Reimu from eating the questionable items, and the fact that we had difficulty staying together. Of course, the younger ones and Reimu had a habit of wandering off.

Food and survival wasn't the only things on our mind, as the seasons and the thought of something wanting to eat us were. It was nearing the cold season and we knew food would be running scarce, thus something without hesitance would want an easy meal. As the air grows colder, times start to roughen for us, doubly so since An had disappeared.

When we had noticed her absence and as an effort to take our minds off of the impending cold season, we decided to discuss her absence and whatever was on our minds. Saying only, "An muh.", which we could translate as, "An go away long time." Youmu effectively stated that An hasn't been with us for a very long time and neither of us could figure out where she may have gone to, nor could we figure out when was the last time we had seen her. Blinking, Wren said, "The last time we had seen her is when we had first got here and that is all I remember so far."

Chen weakly nodded, saying, "That was the last time we had seen her."

With curiosity and upset, Sanae, asked, "An not come back?!"

Rolling her eyes, Marisa answered, "No, An, isn't comin' back, actually, maybe she went out to live her life as she saw fit but dragged us out here."

Maribel flopped down, saying, "This is different from that time when we met Momma."

"Exactly how, Merry-Berry?"

"Oh, well, it was some munchies lying around and stuff and Wren and me were all by ourselves."

"Muh?"

"No, Youmu, I cannot really remember any more, 'cept that everyone except Wren disappeared and that there were birdies and bugs."

Of course, Maribel and Renko didn't remember much of anything aside from little shards here and there before meeting Yukari because they were so little but they do know this time is probably different. They didn't remember their parents either, which didn't matter, as Yukari was their mommy now. As the others talked, I couldn't help but to stare at clouding sky, wondering what had happened to An and what will happen to us.

* * *

"I sure hope they're alright."

"So do I and Mother-in law, too, since she's insisted we stay behind and she'd look for them by herself."

 


	78. Living in the Wild II

Yukari was insistent on going to find the children alone, without help. I knew this to be the case when she didn't even bring Pug and or Shimmy and left without informing anyone of where she was going. That couldn't be helped, as when Yukari is determined, she cannot be persuaded otherwise and wanted no distractions. It was nearing the cold season and the last time I had seen her is a distant memory. Naturally, we went on with our lives, the best to our abilities, but the lingering absence was still there. As far as I could think of, the children had probably already passed away and I do hope they had passed away quietly, with as little suffering as there could be and they had never died alone. 

* * *

It has been some time since I was home and I have begun my search in what to me seems to be ages ago. I haven't found hem and I doubt I would but, at the same time, I still pushed on, not at all wavering. As I searched, I found myself humming Reimu's lullaby. I never did know what she was singing, being that it was barely more than babble, but I knew she had first sang it as a way of comforting herself. It was different in this retrospect, in that I was singing it to comfort myself. As my singing turned to humming, I could hear Reimu's voice, yet I couldn't see her. I had searched for the children an awful long time and I had yet to find them but I refuse to give up, especially when they are already on borrowed time.

It grew colder by the day and food was near depleted. Many animals have already gone into hibernation or migrated to less colder parts. As time passes and as my search continues, I cannot help but to worry about the effect the cold may have on their health, especially Reimu's, seeing as she is not known for her best health. Of course, she may have already died, if she hadn't already fallen ill. Hopefully, I'll find her and, if she has already started dying of her illness, I'll see her one last time. Hopefully, neither is the case.

* * *

As time passes, the littler ones and Reimu are starting to turn feral. Sakuya and I remained unchanged, almost, anyway, but only time can tell how long it will be before we turn the same. Instinctively, we huddle for warmth and seek out even scraps and that is mostly what we've done. Aside from either of those two, we slowly waited for An to come back to which she never does. To cope with our situation, we took to talking to nothing but the air, pretending they were the others. Of course, the air is cold, not at all as warm as Ran-mama's embrace. I wanted to go home, yet, I couldn't because I didn't know the way, actually, we were lost and a long ways off.

By a certain point, we did manage to take shelter in a cave and started to keep warm with a fire. With what little the younger ones could really say, they were becoming agitated because Reimu said she saw something. Naturally, Reimu wasn't agitated and I really doubted her claims of seeing anything, as she is near blind and has been so for some time, thus she really wouldn't be able to see much of anything besides dim fuzzy shapes and colors should her eyes be open, along with the fact that she is mentally ill and sleeps most of the time, in which case she wouldn't have otherwise seen something outside of dreams or delirium. Either way, the other ones were scared by what she said and there was no use telling them otherwise. To see whether or not she really saw anything, we managed to get her to open her eyes and tell her to point to nearest things, to which she couldn't, not without sniffing first, proving that if she could see, she wouldn't have to sniff, unless she's detected something that smells off.

At the same time, we, save Reimu, were all scared because we were minus An and in territory we had no place in. Thinking about it, maybe something could have done away with An or, even worse, maybe something did away with An while she was doing something for us. If anything, she's probably made a sacrifice by luring away something that could hurt us, at the cost of her own life.

* * *

"Alright, I think our best bid for survival is to go where food might be abundant."

"Where the hell is that exactly?"

"I don't know but we do have a shot, though."

"If this ends up another boneheaded idea, I'll take both of your feet and shove them up your ass." 

 


	79. Living in the Wild III

"If this ends up another boneheaded idea, I'll take both of your feet and shove them up your ass." is what Chen said when I proposed an idea as to how we had a chance at not dying. Of course, An was gone and she was already angry at that, as it was An's idea to come out here in the first place, along with now not being the time to make mistakes, as well as the fact that other ones are scared because one claimed to see something. Nevertheless, she agreed to take me up on it but will have my ass otherwise. I was determined not to screw up like An did.

* * *

It had been some time since we had seen Yukari or the children and, in the midst of leaving Yuuka to take care of things and the children, some of us decided to go after them. We searched around, until we came to a forest with something familiar at its opening. Renko's stuffed rabbit, barely touched by the elements. Naturally, I picked it up, sniffed it, and proceeded to sniff it, trying to see if I could catch a scent off of it. Renko's scent was vanished and the trail was pretty much dry. My heart sank and held the doll close, opting to keep it with me, so I could give it back to her or so I hope to.

It was awhile ago when our search started and the cold season had come and had just about gone. The elements were harsh on us and this was especially the case apparent, when Kosuzu lightly ran her fingers through her hair, only for it to fall out in clumps. Our strength was leaving us and our hopes of ever finding the children grew dim. We never did give up, as we knew they were out there somewhere. As we had travelled, we had found Yukari, asking if she had found them, to which she responded that she hasn't. She told us she was tired and had searched for so long, her hope waning of every seeing them again.

* * *

After some time of searching, Enoki seemed to have caught onto a familiar scent, letting out a sharp grunt. She, without hesitance, hurried towards that general direction, only stopping every other five minutes to make sure we were following her. In being so determined, she never allowed exhaustion get to her and was dead set on following a trail. We followed her four hours before she finally allowed exhaustion take her and her legs gave out, stopping at where the trail lead to. In the distance was a familiar face. Maribel and she was resting up against a tree, sleeping, as she usually would at this time of morning. We knew that if we found her than the others were not too far away. She awoke, looked our way, and, without hesitance, she came towards us. She greeted us with a grunt and then gestured, communicating non-verbally as to where the others would be.

We followed her until she stopped and let out a yelping noise, summoning the others. They were different than before, leaving us to wonder exactly how much time has passed since we had last seen them. They were a little bigger than they were before and they, by this point, had grown so accustomed to livng like this but their ages, except maybe Youmu or Sanae's, made it possible to reclaim what was lost. Chen and Sakuya, however, remained almost unchanged but they were weary and worn out. Using Sakuya as crutch, she staggered towards us, reaching out with a frail hand. With a faint smile, she said, "I missed you." She was so weak and we'd be damned if we didn't bring her home. After about five minutes or so with them, we noticed to were missing. Reimu and An. Chen reassured us that Reimu wasn't far, just curled up under a tree root, asleep, but she stated none of them know what happened to An, barely remembering when they had seen her last. We couldn't help but to wonder what had happened to An and, as far as we knew, we would never find out.

Using her gap, Mother in-law brought us home and Nitori made Chen a new wheelchair, her old one having been damaged during their time in the wild. As for An, we never saw her again and probably won't for some time, neither will we ever find out what became of her, although, her absence is noticeable and is deeply felt.

* * *

"I don't think Reimu's blind anymore."

  
  



	80. Darkness Becomes Light and the Clouds Clear

If my recollections are correct, little Reimu opens her eyes rarely and when she does they are usually half-open but this time they were fully open, actually, she seemed to be able to recognize the object she saw without touching, smelling, or trying to eat it. Noticeably, she was awake and was moving about, be that crawling or walking, never at all running into walls or feeling around for them. Her ethereal blue eyes were bright, clear as the sea, and were sparkling to their brim with curiosity. She seemed to be very happy with her newly regained sight that it prompted her to stay awake longer than three hours, as she was more eager to explore the world without nearly killing herself in the process.

After some time of observation, I decided to bring it to some attention. Naturally, the others were skeptical, until she showed them by reading something with wording on it, something she wouldn't have done otherwise. When Chen asked her to point to something in which she saw, she did, pointing to and describing things without difficulty, exactly as she saw them. The darkness really did become light and the clouds did clear.

Since Reimu could see, she decided to do what also came natural and that was swiping Yu's glasses from her face and hiding them. She had reason, as Yu had been nothing but cruel to her, without her knowledge, so responded thus.

* * *

Hourglasses.

 


	81. Hourglasses (poem insert)

Everyone has an hourglass  
Some hourglasses finish  
Some stop  
Some shatter

Bit by bit, my hourglass empties

I don't want it to  
But it does  
I don't have a long time to live

My hourglass is almost finished

 


	82. Cruelty Returns

Sometimes, I find it so hard to believe that Yu and Reimu did use to play together, leaving me to wonder if Ran was telling the truth. Of course, Chen confirmed that they used to but that was when Yu was baby and now Yu is no longer the baby that Chen recognizes. I can see very well what she meant, as I, within in many years of my existence, leaves me to wonder what makes a child so cruel. If memory serves, cruelty will return to the one that dared to give it and it will return a thousand fold, not that she seemed to care. I do remember Ran saying Reimu doesn't respond to any sort of pain or injury in which she might have but I soon found that be changed.

It was very much a normal day, where Yukari insisted that I had to work for house and food, thus being tasked with looking after the children in Ran's absence. Yu was at it again with bullying the other kids but they were rather smart for her and living in the wild did them favors, prompting her to give up on them and go after someone more passive with a predatory nature, like a rabid beast. Said someone was Reimu, who was asleep, never at all bothering anyone, and she gave a swift kick to the face, breaking some of her teeth. Surprisingly, she awoke and, in the midst of reaching for her bruised face, tasted her own blood, which sent her tearfully cackling like a madwoman, frightening even Yume Ni. As blood and spittle streamed from her tearful psychotic smile and with eyes as red as a combination of blood and embers, she thought to retaliate, clawing and desperately reaching for Yu's throat. When that didn't work, she reached for the next object, which so happened to be a pair of scissors, something the bully seemed to fear, something reoccurring from a previous incident where said scissors were wielded by the girl with hair of white. Swinging them around madly like mad warrior and his sword, she came after her and, no matter the effort, she could not be stopped. She went after and managed to Yu injury, by stabbing her with a pair of scissors and she had stuck them in deep, letting go when blood was spurting from the wound. Her rage seemed to dissipate and she showed remorse for her actions. She stared at Yu for a good five minutes, before saying, in mad combination of everyone's voices, "Ḓo̤̻̙e̸͎̖̖̳̣ͅs̴̪n̮̺'̯͇̬ͅt̼̭̤̲̝̜͟ ̯̗̻̼͖̪f̤͇̰̳͉̹̣e͓̩̞e͉͕̹l̩̝ ş̠̗̗̰ͅo͍͔̰̠̰̰͞ ̛̤̼̖̝͎̭͓g̬o͇̭̣̩oḓ̨̣̥̳̣͔̙,҉̦̼ ̳͎̰̳́d̨̫̖̣o͍͕̗̝̘͠e̤̤̭s͔ ͏̞͎i͢t͓?͕͈̝̯̼̰́ ͈̞͙̙̭̘̭W̵̘͍hà̹t̮͖͙ ̧̣̞g͞o͎͖̺͔̼ͅe̴̳̪̪̰͕̘s̞̪͍̰̬ͅ a͎̱̰̠̻͠r͓͓͔̹̱͈ͅo̸u̱n̫̕d ̱̹c͉̬o̹̩m̹̻̦̙͉̱̠e̮͙̖s̻̼͓͠ ̠̺͍͔̺̦ͅa҉̥͕r̹̰̯͢ơu̩̠̲͍͉̞n̡̹̥̘̫d͚̟̮ ͉͔̖͉ͅa̵͎̻͈͙͈n̸d͖̖̯̮,̙͇ ͚̪̬̗̪̰r͙͉̻e̮̺̼̯̞͈m̥͍̥͚e̢͖̝̮̬̺m̦̖͎be̡̬̮r͕̖͚̦͚͉̦͘,̥̙͔̺̤̗ ͏t̞̯̖̰̯̳h͙̪̬͈͠e͖͚̼ ͓͈͈͕͟f̕e̹̞̦̙̟̫̘e̛͚̗̗li̧n̻̭̭̣͍g̼̬̜̹̖͕ ̩̱͕̩͞y̳̳̲̺̮͠o̟̙͚͉̘̻͚ṷ͈̫͉̥͔͎ ͔̤͇͓̯̩̱̕d̙̥̩̮e͏͔͎͈a͕̝̟̳l͈͜ ̫t̨͍̳̜̫o͉̠̩ ̰͎͇̭̖̭̫o͕̜t̟̻̰͍̜̻͡h̤̗͙̕ȩ̹̠̥͕r̟s̸ ̘̯͈͍͉̲͜ͅi̛s̻̻ ̝w̡h̞̝̣͙͕a̷̙̲̟͙̤t̤̫̪̣̪͘ ̸̱͙̺̥̻̩̭W̡̥̭̤̱̭͍͍I̺L̼L̞̰̲̭͙ ̷͍̲̻̰͖ ̡͚̙͉̬̜͚c̣̥̤̮̪o̪̥͎ͅm̢e̥̻͚͇ ͎̳̖̪̖b̥̖a̻̣͇̥͖̣̞c̞̪̯̪̤͞k ̥̼̖̖̻̥͞t̙̯͇o͉̠̘ͅ y͓͞o̹̬̱̜͙̫ͅu̗͍̫̣͍."

She returned to being the sweet child that she was before but Yu, however, remained changed. Her bravado was gone and she found herself terrified of her. Naturally, we didn't know what the hell to think about that, as we've never seen her do that before, not while coherent to know exactly what she was doing. Something in her mind broke through whatever sort conditioning there was that made her way and it had the obvious effect of causing her to hulk out in response to truly feeling pain, especially when it was dealt by someone else. Did she forget it? No, I doubt that but, it seemed, she wasn't haunted by the fact that she dealt someone once close to her pain, just like Yume Ni didn't, though, Reimu didn't attack her again, apparently feeling that the punishment was just. The other kids, on the other hand, didn't really know whom to feel sorry for, although Sakuya stated that the scissors thing was something that could be seen a mile away in that that wasn't the first altercation involving them and then she went on to state, for what Yume Ni did to Reimu that time, she had it coming, as well as the fact, that the scissors shouldn't have been foolishly left where she could reach them.

I suppose it was madness and pain, swelling into rage. Cruelty doth returns.

* * *

"Ah, what happened to that kid?"

"Reimu stabbed her with a pair of scissors."

"I told you that if you can love that thing there is something wrong with you."

"Don't. Start."

 


	83. Conversations and One-Upmanship IV

Once again without anything better to do, my brother decided to visit our apartment. Of course, when he got here, he spotted Yu's bandaged arm and asked, "Ah, what happened to that kid?" to which I calmly replied, "Reimu stabbed her with a pair of scissors." After saying what I had to say, he later on went on about how if Reimu can be loved there was something wrong with that person. At that moment, I was wishing for her to stab him with something to shut him up, wondering if I should even put a pair of scissors in her hand when she awakes. After taking a deep breath and with the bit of calmness I could muster, I said, "Don't. Start."

"Well, I'm right and I've told you that before."

"Well, nothing! I've told you that she is not a monster and there is nothing wrong with loving her, as she is very much like any child. You, I should note, barely know her and what she did the with scissors is something we will have to learn to live, deal with, and move past it. To be honest, right now, I wish she would set you straight by stabbing you with something and she will have had a reason as she's put up with you and your ex-wife's torment. She IS a child and children tend to and fewer than not do injure each other for variable reasons, regardless of severity of the offense in which they felt warranted and, to be honest, anus for a mouth, she is no different, not any more different from any other child in which I've seen."

"Okay, shit for brains, explain the time with the scissors."

"...Okay, listen, Yume Ni had kicked Reimu in the face, to which she responded by stabbing her with scissors. Either way both were wrong and the latter did express remorse for her actions and, as I've mentioned before, children tend to and fewer than not do injure each other for variable reasons, regardless of severity of the offense in which they felt warranted it in the first place, so Reimu acted in which she felt would be thus."

"How the hell is stabbing someone 'thus'?"

"Well, I told before that Reimu isn't a little right in the head and we figured that was her response to pain."

_"Just to be clear, you would think the dumbass would learn after she tried to stab her the first time!"_

"For the umpteenth time, Sakuya, Yu is not a dumbass! There is no way we would've seen that!-Anyway, I think that is her response to pain and, as impossible for you to believe, she did show remorse, as she does have a conscience and recognizes it something she really shouldn't have done but, at the same time, she couldn't control herself, stabbing Yume Ni out of rage, not malice. Like I said, she is just a little girl who is the victim of madness and illness, the which of she is aware could lead to her demise, something she's accepted but,...despite that, she enjoys life anyway, enjoying what little may be left in her hourglass, not a monster. On the note of how it would be thus, well, it would be thus in your case, as A) you are an asshole and a moron, and, B) you did nothing really besides bullying her, the which she still remembers."

"Okay, does she forgive?"

"She might, then again, she might not, however, there is nothing in her mind to tell her not to, in which case, she would, however, it's hard to tell in her case, as she seems not to pay attention to some things more so than she might others. If forgiveness is outside of her needs or wants, then she might not, at the same time, she might not really care. For as long as I've known her, I find her hard to read, even more so than I might with mother-in-law."

"Yeah, yeah, anyway, wasn't there another kid in here?"

"Oh..., you mean An, um, well, we don't know what happened to her and we haven't seen her again. For all we know, she may have passed away or has long grown too adapted to the wild that it may be against her best wishes, as well as interests, to take her from the wild. If she had passed away, I can only hope she did so quietly and, if she hadn't, then I can only hope she is faring well and is happy where she is."

As we talked, we didn't notice Reimu standing right before us. She wasn't doing anything besides just standing there and looking at us. It was hard to tell why, she could either be curious or just in one of her delirious fits, as her eyes were large with indeterminable emotion. She just looked at us, blinking slowly, not doing much else. She continued looking at us until pointed at Baka, squinted her eyes, and folded down all of her fingers save the middle one, pointing to that one with the index finger on her other hand. She blinked her squinted eyes and didn't need to say anything to get her point across. She put her hands down, turned around, and went about her business. Baka blinked his wide eyes and said, "Did she just give me the business?" to which I answered, "Yes, yes, she did." She then walked back, turned to Baka, took a deep breath, closed her eyes, did the double the deuce, and said, "Fuck you and fuck you twice!" before flipping him the bird again, saying, "Fuck you third time." She then turned to me, saying,"Hi Ren." and did what could amount to a curtsy before going about her business.

I turned to my older brother saying, "Well, I guess that answers your question as to whether or not she likes you and, suffice to say, she doesn't seem to like you all too much."

* * *

"What? She already has one foot in the grave!"

  
  



	84. One Foot in the Grave

Once again, Reimu had fallen ill, requiring an IV drip and spending most of her time bedridden. She preferred little else, except to sleep, however, she didn't show much signs of improvement, as would be expected with a severe illness. Being the one mother she's known, I worry but is unsure what to do, especially since Yu wanted no more than to reclaim her bravado. She held a grudge and, as to be expected for someone who's lived passed nine-hundred ninety-nine years with enough wisdom to match, I know not what really who to side with or to decide who was wrong but, whichever be the case, well, it would rather enough to say that the haughty is not at all proud to be broken. Well, why not? Reimu is really no more physically stronger than Yu might be, although, she tends to be more passive and goes along with almost anything, never all questioning the sense in it and, yet, she put the bully in her place, subjecting her to a degree humiliation.

As Reimu lay sick and as time passed, Yu seemed to be waiting on the hourglass that is Reimu's life to finish. Her grudge grew larger than what either of two were tall. Frankly, I found that odd, as I had never seen a child harbor a grudge, not one that could amount to hate. Day by day, she lingered by that doorway, doing little else and very seldom leaving that spot. No one asked why she was watching her in anticipation, then again, they probably didn't know what could ask her.

Of course, she would cause upset when she made an offhand remark with someone responding and she answering in turn, "What? She already has one foot in the grave!" It shocked everyone but Chen and I were seeing red, though Chen even more so. She was so angry to such a degree that she took the nearest thing and threw it at her. Said nearest thing was a heavy book and it fell short of hitting her in the head but it did hit her in the back. When she yelped out in pain, Chen rolled her brown eyes and said, "If it hurt you, good! May you suffer pain for the remainder of your days, through this life and the next."

She recomposed herself to the best of her ability during this time and said, with eyes glowing like embers, "You're one to talk about having one foot in the grave and, yet, you bear a grudge to the point of madness! If Reimu died, would you be happy then?! I'll let you know, I won't be. You speak of that as if she is unaware, yet, she is. She is fully aware of that and, yet, she does nothing about it because she can't and, to be honest, try as we might, we can't do a thing about it either besides make her final years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds happy, as that is really what can be done, yet, despite that, she enjoys life anyway and that, it seems, cannot be taken from her. Sure, she stabbed you with a pair of scissors but, to be fair, you kicked her in her face and, be noted, she tried to stab with a pair of scissors that one time, you fucking dumbass! And, to be kinda honest, I wish she had strangled you, just to the point where, if you survived, the scars from which would remain forever, serving as a reminder of your foolishness. You speak of Reimu having one foot in the grave, when you were born not too long before a time of madness, the very which we still bleed and heal from, the very which death would have been mercy and most welcomed. We  _ALL_  have had one foot in the grave, so you are in no place to talk. Hell, your own mother has attempted suicide more than once, had gone insane during that time, and went through a self-destructive phase, as well as the fact that she's almost died giving birth, Yukari's mind went to shit and she's spent most of her time insane, even contemplating suicide to appease the ghosts, to put an end to the pain,  ** _I_  **attempted suicide, and Reimu couldn't even talk coherently and her innocence betrayed her, leaving her with memories she cannot even cope with. Death for her would be both mercy and tragedy and, yet, should she die, her final memories of you would be how horrible you were to her. As she lays sick in that bed, I'm pretty sure she is thinking about how happy you or everyone will be when she's gone because, as far she knows, all she does is cause trouble and doesn't want to anymore. As a matter of fact, her very existence seem to be loathed by pretty much most of the world and you harbor the same animosity, treating her with the same cruelty. What you deal to someone will come back at you a thousand fold and you dealt Reimu pain, something she lacked the comprehension of, thus she dealt it back, with something that terrified you. If she dies of her illness, I will leave and that will be it but I will  ** _NEVER_**  forgive you for how you've treated her. May Inari Ōkami have mercy on your soul for the sins you shall spend the remainder of your existence atoning for and suffering through."

After saying what she wished, the exhaustion and breathlessness of it all caused her collapse. Some time afterward, Reimu did eventually pull through her illness and Yu was different, actually, it was hard to say what changed, aside from the fact that she spoke, as well as did less and less, becoming little more than a ghost. Later on, she had fallen ill with a chronic illness.

* * *

"Go with..."

 


	85. Go With...

I am not usually doing anything but, frankly, I have grown rather bored and was in need of some stimulation, so, putting on a hat and prettying myself up, I decided to go outside and perhaps get some things. As I turned to lock the door to my flat, I was surprised to Reimu, Merry, and Wren standing by me, eyes large with anticipation. After looking at them, I figured perhaps they will have liked something special for them when I return but I found myself surprised when Merry, articulating her thoughts with a fragmented sentence, said, "Go with..." Naturally, I responded with, "Pardon." to which Wren responded with a chirp and Reimu, blinking her sleepy eyes, said, "Go with..." before gesturing to my person. I found myself confused, to which she said, "We..." with Renko saying, "...want to..." and Maribel ending it with, "go with..." She gestured to myself again, saying, "...YOU!"

I had understood but I hadn't any sort of desire for tagalongs and neither did I have their leads with me, along with the fact Reimu had grown a bit heavy to be carried. When I did bring that up, Reimu walked away and came back wearing a collar, something she had swiped from that rather chubby kitsune. In seeing her with that, I said, "Leading you around by a leash and a collar would strangle you surely and that would be a most unpleasant experience." Not knowing what else to do, Wren trotted off and came back with something, which were a couple of harness, the sort that Ducks uses when she brings the children out with her. I shook my head and asked, "What about Reimu?" to which she answered, "Carry her."

"Sweetheart, while she isn't very tall, she is a tad too heavy to be carried."

"Nuh-uh! I carried Reimu on my back and she isn't at all heavy."

"That was then, dearest, this is now and is has been at least a year or so since then. She's gotten a little bigger since then, thus she might have put on a bit of weight."

"We got bigger, too!"

"Yes, of course, dear, which is why Reimu cannot be carried and she'd a bit too heavy for you carry and you aren't any much larger than she is. If she is to come along, we'll need something in which to push her in."

"Chen's old wheelchair, the plain one, still works."

I found myself won over by three little girls and was subject to a bit of embarrassment. However, I figured taking them outside would be alright, after all, they have been rather well-behaved and tend not to ask for very much. Patting my curls back in place, I said, "Alright, if you insist." We went outside and the little dears seem to be elated at the prospect. Maribel and Renko darted this way and that, trying to catch butterflies and sniff flowers, while Reimu just glanced here and there, content, welcoming a butterfly that landed on her face. As we travelled for a bit, we found ourselves stopping, when Reimu spotted something. It was a little puppy, picking at scraps. When she had seen it, she promptly said, "Mine!" with her ethereal blue eyes sparkling like aquamarines. From what I could comprehend, she wanted a pet, something in which she could take care of. Before I could utter so much as a sound, she climbed out of the wheelchair and hurried as fast as her legs carry her to the rather skinny creature. She removed the collar from around her neck and placed it around its neck, saying, "Mine!" The puppy itself was rather confused at what was happening but didn't react by biting or cowering. Wrapping her arms around it, she picked it up and carried it to her wheelchair, climbing in it with her new companion.

We spent a great while out, coming back just when the moon was peering over the horizon. The little ones were content, as was Reimu's new companion, the which she's designated the name "Mine!" I suppose she didn't know what else to call it besides what she said when she claimed it at hers.

* * *

"How are you doing today, little princess?"

"Waiting..."

 


	86. Just Watching the Clock (poem insert)

Not doing much  
Just watching the clock  
I'm waiting

Not doing much, aside from that  
Just watching the clock  
I'm waiting

The clock hit twelve, again

I'm waiting  
Just watching the clock  
Twelve, again.

Still waiting...

* * *

_"Y_ ou jackass what the-I am not with him!"

 


	87. The Incident with the Sofa and the Air Conditioner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If this sounds a little weird or very detached, rush, what have it, it is because Reimu has become so detached from the world that whenever she narrates, it's pretty much like that, beige, because her worldview doesn't give her a lot of understanding, as well as the fact that she doesn't talk much. This will not be constant, only when a chapter demands it.
> 
> -Amoridere.
> 
> PS: "Mine" is the name of the puppy that Reimu obtained in the previous chapter

There wasn't much going on, not really. Not until now. Everyone stood still, looking in one direction. I don't really know why but they were. Mine barked, not much to that, just barked. In the voices, I could make out Ren's voice and he was upset. More than upset, he was pissed. He ran in here, saying, "I am not with him!" I didn't really know what he was talking about. It had something do with the moron, which was about it.

The moron came in here to tell him to shut up.  _What the hell did he do?!_  Ren pointed a finger to that moron and said, "You motherfucker! You come up with the stupidest ideas there are and I've seen some really stupid ideas! You know damn well you are NOT supposed to get a sofa and an air conditioner in your apartment through a window and with a crapass rope!" Before the moron could say anything, Ren then said, "Shut up!" By that point, I was sleepy, so I don't remember much after that.

As Ren said, the moron really did have a stupid idea, as Mommy's back was broken. She's fine now, though she needs something to walk with. Yes, she's pissed and still is. There isn't much to say on that.

* * *

"Has your wife gotten fatter?"

"No, asswad!"


	88. Tragedy Juxtaposes Joy

Tragedy often juxtaposes joy in any scenario, much it is doing this one. There is joy on this floor because Ran is pregnant again, yet there was a tragedy because there are two little girls who are ill, leaving their survival in question. Should they die from their illnesses, then that will be tragedy, while Ran gives birth to her kits, bringing joy. With new life must come death and those two could very well succumb to their illnesses, long before she even begets new kits, thus being tragedy that juxtaposes joy, birth juxtaposing death. As we welcome new lives, we have to say goodbye to some.

In itself juxtaposes, in that Reimu is happy about the prospect of new kits and enjoys talking about them, even suggesting a few names, be them mostly colors and plants, whatever is on her mind. Whilst to Reimu new babies are something to be happy about, to Yume Ni, they are not, as she is very ill with something chronic and the medicines aren't doing very much slow the course of the symptoms, although, she does hope none of them become so sick, as sick as she is, and that neither of them die from illness.

* * *

"Yes, fucktard, I'm still mad about my spine, thank you."


	89. I'm still mad about my spine, thank you

He still begs, while I sit in this chair, petting my dog. I am in no mood to deal with him, not right now and not for what he did. I am less than thrilled with have a fairly screwy spine, actually, the incident did more than just damage it, it left it unable to heal properly, leaving me more impaired than aside from a busted leg. I never liked this transaction and so far the idiot comes crawling to me begging for forgiveness. I haven't let it go because my life had already been altered and has stress built on top of stress- STRESS!-along having to be impaired for the rest of my life. To be honest, I have been patient but all to deal with him for the sake of keeping the peace and for the sake of my son in-law, even though it is clear that isn't doing me any favors, just like it didn't when the dumbass came up with a bright idea. I've learned my lesson and want no more than to kick his ass.

As he begs at the door, I try my damnedest to ignore him but it is difficult, as it is giving me headache. After about an hour, I couldn't ignore it any longer and was prompted to make him shut up. Taking what could surmise as arthritic steps, I went to open the door, to find him grovelling on the floor.  _Should I thwack him and serve up eviction notice or should I just thwack him?_  I wasn't really sure of what I should do, so I just thwacked him and, before he could ask, answered, "Yes, fucktard, I'm still mad about my spine, thank you." to which he asked, "Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?"

"I don't know, really, I don't know but I am still mad, as there is damage that cannot be reversed. I am running an apartment building, thus having to deal with tenants that are not always reputable, some of which treating me like a whore and propositioning me as such, have stress piled on top of stress and more stress, trying my damnedest to take of a sick child, dealing with a tragedy, yet while worrying about Ran, who, be noted, is pregnant. I was impaired before, to a lesser degree, with a damaged leg and hip and that was the least of my problems but, now, I am impaired again as the result of someone's stupidity. I doubt anything could be done to make it up to me because this is pretty much what seals it."

"What about-"

"I am not someone's toy in which to play with and then throw away and that will only rub more salt into barely healed wounds. My spine is disfigured and was rendered unable to heal properly and I am all but happy with the situation. If I had done that to you, you would look at me as though I am Tamamo-no-Mae, a figure well hated amongst kitsune and all other sorts alike. You beg for forgiveness, so I know you are repentant, yet at the same time I cannot help but to wonder if you are begging because you're scared for your life, thus placing yourself at my mercy, rather than out of repentance. While I may still be angry, I'll try to let it go but, until then, I'll have to readjust to my newfound disabilities and..."

_***THWACK!*** _

* * *

_I'm so sorry..._

 


	90. I'm so Sorry (poem insert)

I wish I could make it up to you  
But I can't  
You're gone now

You've passed away

Some time ago

I don't know how long ago  
But you've passed away  
And, if you can hear me...

I want you to know,  
I'm so sorry

* * *

_"How long has it been?"_

 


	91. How long it's been

It has been a little while, really, and I cannot help but to wonder how long it's been. Youmu and Sanae still learn how to talk but there hasn't been too much progress, we still haven't seen An, Enoki is whole lot less fat, the littler ones have gotten bigger, becoming more rambunctious and curious by the day, Mama Ran is pregnant again, Yukari still has a messed up spine, and  _she's_ passed away. I wonder how long it has been since she's passed away. Mama Ran and Papa Ren very seldom talk about her and neither do the others, just like they don't do An. Its very much like neither of them were ever here, yet their absences were hard to ignore. To degree, I guess I could say I miss them and that I had only known them for such a short time. As far as I know, I will see them on the other side, in another life.

It feels like it was only yesterday that she was with us and now she's gone. I had wished for her suffer and she did, through chronic and long term illness, before she died. The last thing I said to her wasn't "I love you" or anything to the effect, the last thing I had said to her was so scathing that it had broken her will and I wish I could take it back. I didn't even hold her hand, as she's died. I had been nothing but cold towards her. I was angry and embittered towards her, yet, despite that, I was happy to have gotten to know her.

It wasn't all that long ago when she's passed but I do wonder how long it has been. Her days were numbered and her illness wasn't something that she would survive. She quietly passed away around the time Ran-mommie found out she was pregnant again. Tragedy juxtaposed joy in that scenario and it was through a cruel hand that she had to die so new ones could be born, the ones she'll never get to see. For something to be born, room must be made and someone has to die and, for every thing born, something dies. She died before they were to even be born. She's passed away and Ran-mommie has yet to even give birth. There isn't much said about that and there isn't much to say, although...

...I do wonder how long it has been since Yume Ni passed away.

* * *

"Babies?"

"Not yet, Reimu."

 


	92. Anticipation and Loss, Grief and Madness

So far, I have been followed and asked when my babies will arrive. I cannot really answer that but I do expect when that will be. As I anticipate, I do feel a bit sad, as I have already lost three babies, one of which no one knows what happened to, the other succumbing to illness, and the one I feel a large wedge between us. She hasn't been too much the same when Yu died, the which she feels regretful for. She tells me she caused it by wishing her to suffer, for Inari Ōkami to take her away, and that her wish was granted, dying because she wanted her to. Something in me wanted to tell that she should be happy to have had her wish granted but I knew doing so would push her into further despair, driving that wedge deeper.

As for everyone else, life continues to best of what that could be. Reimu is eager, wanting to see the new ones. Her eyes tend to sparkle at the thought of new babies, just like they had before. Whenever she is awake, she, with her puppy in tow, follow me around in anticipation and curiosity. She has seen me pregnant before, be that as noted, she is just so eager to see them. Frankly, from her happiness, I sense a rather deep-rooted sadness within her, making me wonder if she is questioning her own lifespan any more than she would be doing already. Perhaps, it was just the grief from Yu's death that was making me think that, then again, Reimu held her hand as she's died, cementing any sort of forgiveness that she had, despite being kicked in the face and treated so badly. She was funny that way being every so quick to smile and laugh, whilst, at the same time, suffering through deep-rooted misery that is illness and insanity and quick to ask if she is dying, facing that prospect with barely understandable fatalism. Be this as noted, she is very hard to understand and trying to understand her could lead to mental distress.

Like Chen, we all mourn a loss but we do wait in anticipation for what is to come new, much like Reimu does. Those feelings mirrored each other in reverse. Chen was grief-striken and guilty, feeling as though she caused Yu's death, whilst Reimu was happy and cheerful, with a sad resignation that she had died.

As I mulled over these feelings, one day, I couldn't help but to find Chen crying hysterically and Yuuka trying to comfort her. She was bordering on psychotic, lashing out to a fairly violent degree, and Yuuka wasn't sure of what to do, besides try to make her stop. "Stop it! Stop it! Calm down, please!" Yuuka said, shaking her. She was trying everything she knew, hoping she wouldn't have to resort to slapping her. She was begging and pleading, as she tried to pull her out of this madness. When it all was in vain, she shook her and delivered a hard slap to her face, which caused her to go silent. She stared at Yuuka with wide brown eyes, unsure of what to do. She was reduced to near silent whimpers and Yuuka gathered her into her arms, saying, "Sweetheart, you have to stop blaming yourself for her death and doing so will only bring you to madness. Stop it! Love, you made a wish that you regret ever so making and wish ever so you could recant it but it had in no way caused Yu's death. Wherever she is, she would very well forgive you and, perhaps, death gave her peace and a release from her illness. She died quietly and peacefully, dear, and you must come to terms with that."

* * *

"I got out of my crib, bitches!"

 


	93. Hidden Depths

Once again, Reimu was at asking to sleeping in a regular bed. She had grown since a little while ago but she didn't grow much, actually, she was still small enough to sleep in that crib. Of course, she didn't like sleeping in that thing and decided to point out that she had a mind of her own was smarter than what she seemed. For someone who didn't talk much and did little more than sleep, how the hell was she supposed to prove how smart she is besides counting in her sleep? We really didn't know how, which Reimu seemed to like, as she was the sort to do something when someone wasn't lookin', just like she did when she took the screwdriver out of Ren's tool box and that one time she made it a game of hidin' the pupsters.

Those weren't the only things she'd do, as she had a habit of tricking the resident moron into sticking an object into an outlet (that was mean but hilarious) and, whenever she'd be awake, she would go about visiting' everyone else, regardless of what is said about that or not or whether anyone wanted or was expectin' her to visit or not. She also had habit of pretending she didn't know anything, seeing that she pretty good at lying, as well as catchin' folks off guard with it. If she had seen somethin' happen and if asked, she won't come clean, until it is forgotten or over and done with. Other times, she seemed to know something that we did not. One could say that she just liked to play and didn't care otherwise. Either way, she is funny like that.

However, she decided to put what she knew to work or, rather, to use the art of persuasion. As I already had said, she didn't like sleeping in that crib and, now, she wanted out. This didn't take much effort, as, in the middle of the night, she flung herself out of it, landing on the floor with a  ** _*THUMP!*._**  We were awake and less happy to be, of course, not that we could sleep. She got up, let out a little fart, shook, walked over to the door, opened it, went down the hall, flung open the door to Mama and Papa's room, and said, " _I got out of my crib, BITCHES!"_  She came back here, pulled out the screwdriver she had hidden the entire time, starting tinkering with her crib to make one of the sides lower, and leaving it that way so she can get in and out whenever she pleased, without falling out whenever she tossed and turned.

When questioned, she said, "Kitsune always keep a promise and I got out of my crib, so I am holding you by the blood you put in my veins." Mama and Papa were confused, to which she said, "I don't have to sleep in that crib anymore because I got out. If I am to still sleep in it, then I wanna be able to get out and if you don't like it, then kiss my ass because I am going to anyway." They were surprised and confused, while we were just surprised, seeing that she usually didn't talk, much less say  _"ass"_  to Mommy and Daddy. Once she said what she said, she walked out of the room and went to the bathroom. She came back and looked them right in their wide amber eyes and then pointed to where she slept. She wouldn't be told otherwise and was callin' the shots, like she was them. Her eyes seem to flash red for a second and they backed up. She was matching her will against theirs and, despite being the ones in charge, they gave in to someone who hardly even talks, sleeps a lot, is sick all the damn time, tends to be dumber than a box of rocks, and is still small enough to be carried. They towered over her and they gave in to her demands. It was like she had a hold on them, as they did what she wanted, saying, "Fine, if you want it that way, then so be it, your bed will be altered tomorrow."

She got her way, somethin' that almost never happened. I guess Reimu had some hidden depths after all.

* * *

"You are stupid as hell if you can fall for a child's mischief more than once.

 


	94. Family Functions

Cheery insisted on cooking again and insisted we'd invite the whole floor over, the which included my siblings. It would be impolite to decline so we let her do as she wished, then again, we enjoyed her cooking the last time, so not much could go wrong. Of course, just when dinner started, Reimu managed to trick Baka into sticking something in an electrical socket. My brother must have become stupider with each passing day, as he continued falling for Reimu's little game more than twice, giving her more and more reason to do it. To be honest, I had found it humorous, to which my sister Mii said, "Ren, that's a little mean." As siblings do as siblings we do, we argued, with my response of, "What?! He falls for that all the time and, for everyone else, they can only fall for that once and learn the first damn time! She still tricks him and manages to trick him more than once because he doesn't seem to learn and hasn't." We argued back and forth for about five minutes until we came to an agreement.

Mother in-law blinked her weary eyes and asked, "How long has she been doing that?" Cheery, blinking her blue eyes and ruffling her blue hair, answered, "For about a month if not a month and a week." Petting her dog, Mother in-law then said, "Well, my son in-law is very clever, as no one should be stupid enough to fall for the same trick more than twice. Of course, said stupidity is what feeds into her behavior, in that, if perhaps he wises up and sees through it, then she'll stop." It was silent for a little while, as Cheery cooked, until Alice pointed to Reimu and said, "She said "ass" to Ran and Ren." Marisa hiccupped and added, "And she got her way!"

Mother in-law blinked her weary eyes again and said, "I was afraid of that." We all looked at her and asked, "Why?" to which she answered, "Because, when Reimu wants something, she isn't afraid of rebelling to prove a point, doubly so if she can make you give into her demands, however, to worsen this, she's a youkai, just not particularly sure what kind, and may have strength that she hasn't otherwise tapped into. Fortunately, she won't take to doing that all the time and is probably just tired of being treated as an infant and wants be treated like the other kids, which can have the downside when it comes to protecting her, as she'd try to break away from us, unaware." She then sighed, saying, "Of course, we can't protect her forever."

Baka did find some bit of amusement in the fact that a little girl matched her will against mine and Ran's, however, children do often test their will against that of an authority figures and, sometimes, they win, so she wasn't any different. For each and every last smartass remark that he did make, I waited until the very last to say, "Okay, sure, she matched her will against mine and Ran's and won but, at least, I don't let her trick me more than once with the same thing over and over. You want her to stop doing that, then stop falling for it." My brother Ikki gestured towards me and said, "He does have a point." Naturally, the subject of our conversation was oblivious, seeing as she was more interested in what pups were doing, playing with her little pet, poking Shimmy (who's sleeping in a teacup) or watching Cheery cook than any sort of conversation taking place, then again, her name wasn't called, thus she wouldn't think it involved her otherwise. Likewise, the other children weren't interested in any conversation taking place, as they were probably busy with their own affairs and having conversations as their own, as I can see with the aforementioned and Fuyu and their conversations through gesticulation.

It was like watching a silent film and just as entertaining, as the two talked without talking but through gestures, the which only both and select few could understand. From observation, it seems, they were talking about what was for dinner and when it will be finished. Their conversation and thus the film ended when Fuyu hurried off to pounce on a littermate, leaving Reimu to curl up and take a nap. She wouldn't be awake for at least a good fifteen minutes, seeing as dinner will begin in about that time. However, her little nap was cut short when Toki pounced on her. She was slightly annoyed but not angry or maybe she was upset but not as she would be surprised. She promptly moved to where the roughhousing was less prevalent and resumed her nap. When Cheery was finished, she awoke and came from her sleeping place.

As we ate, Baka couldn't seem to shake something off, prompting Mother-in law to inquire, to which he said, "Some of us are missing." Before she could say more, Chen screamed, "NO! Don't ever mention those names in this apartment!" She was shot a glance, which made Chen cower and quickly return to eating. She sighed and said, " _Child,_  we cannot pretend nothing has changed and I will say what I will in this apartment. Yes, Baka, you are right, two of the children are not here eating with us, now, let me explain why. If you recall, Yume passed away of illness and we've had her funeral some time ago and, as for An, we haven't a clue what has become of her and the children's memories of seeing her last are hazy at best and the last time they did is but a hazy memory."

The meal did continue with silence, until Reimu spoke with saddened eyes and soft voice with a false cheerfulness. With tears welling up in her ethereal blue eyes and as she smiled, she asked, "Is it possible that she was dead all along and died a long time ago or is it possible you did see her but couldn't recognize her?" Her smile started to falter and she started to tremble, tears rolling down her cheeks. She returned to eating, not even bothering to wipe them away. When she had finished, she said, barely above a whisper, "If I don't awake, promise you'll meet me again but promise me that you'll wake up until then."

With tears forming rivers, she got up and left the room quietly, leaving us to wonder about what she's said. If my memories are correct and not false ones born of grief, An survived passed a certain age, passed infancy, despite being born so small and sickly, so she couldn't have died those years ago, so it is possible we had seen her but didn't see her and thought she was someone else. On the note of what she said before she left the room, she was telling us that, should she die, she will wait for us on the other side but, until the wait is over, she wants us to continue our lives as she would have, rather than spending it grieving.

Dinner continued in silence and then we talked for a while, talking of things I find to be a distant memory now, although what Reimu said will never be far from our minds. On the note of Reimu, we found her sleeping soundly, as quiet as can be.

The very next day, she did wake up.

* * *

"No, no!"

 


	95. Youmu Swears

Youmu is very much like any other child. She has two arms, two legs, and looks every last bit a three or four-year old would look. Like every other three or four-year old, she liked to play, sleep, and explore, along with getting attention. Actually, nothing really stood out at all, except for the fact that mostly what she says is "Muh". Of course, it was to be expected having spent about a year in the wild with little contact aside from the other kids, thus losing what language skills she's had. Fortunately, she wasn't beyond any sort of recovery.

Aside from the "muhs", she said other things, like "No, no!", "Shleepy", "Shitass!", "Love'ou", "Moo!", or, more commonly, something "muh." which meant anything. The other children can understand her and are quick to respond to what she says, often translating it. It seems she has a mouth on her, seeing that she said, as only she knew how, "Bring it on, queerbie." more than a few times. Of course, when Reimu was regaining her speech skills, she started with swears and slowly learned to form sentences from utterances, so Youmu may not be any different. At the same time, she hasn't shown much signs of any sort of change and, if she didn't talk, she would be silent, like Reimu would be, only the latter tends to say what may only apply to something relevant to what may be said or done.

After some time, she actually did form a sentence that could be clearly understood where all of us including adults heard it. She seem to have had something to say and she said it, when she said, "Fuck you ass, Youmu do what want!" We never did seem to get what provoked her to say that but at least she said something in sentence.

* * *

"Babies?"

"Yes, you can see them now."

 


	96. Finding An

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt inspired to write some this from a tale in Japanese folklore called The Yurei Child, which is about a shopkeeper named Kenhei and his wife, to whom he was unaware had passed away and had been living with her ghost.

Not too long ago, Ran-mommie had her babies. She's had a litter of four, two male and two female. They were medium-sized and curious about what they haven't seen. They also seem to have a tolerance with someone poking them every once and awhile. I am very happy to have them, however, I still feel reminded of An and Yu and the lingering pain of their abscence. It just feels so incomplete without either of them. Of course, it would feel that way, being that Yu has long passed on and An we haven't seen in about a year or so. The memories I do have of An are starting to fade but the only one that hasn't faded is the one when she was a baby, when she held my finger. That was what I think to be at least five or six years ago, although I cannot be sure. Time seemed to have slowed during that winter and it feels like yesterday that it was. After some time of thinking about An and as my memories of her faded, I decided to leave in the night to find her. I told no one of my plans, although I do hope Reimu will forgive me for leaving her but I'm sure she'd understand why.

That was I don't know how long ago and my search has turned up nothing. During this time and being forced to use my wheelchair less and less often seems to to have made my leg break through the paralysis that was left and become fully functional and I regained some of the feeling in my arm but I still can't hold my waste. My brown hair had grown shaggy and I have filed my claws on rocks. As I travel, I yearn for Ran-mommie's warm embrace and to be back home but I can never return home without finding An. Somewhere in my head, I can hear Reimu's voice saying, " _If you find her, then that means that your hourglass has emptied or you finally recognized her."_  and then I heard her say, " _If I don't awake, promise you'll meet me again but promise me that you'll wake up until then."_  In hearing her voice, I started to wonder how long it has been since I had left and what happened to Reimu. Is she waiting for me here or is she waiting for me on the other side? As I thought, I had started to realize that I was gone a very long time.

Some part of me yearn to go home but the rest of me wanted to find An. I searched everywhere and continued doing so until my search brought me back to where we had lived our lives, the Cave House. I can tell my search had ended when I had spotted An's ribbon. I walked over to it and found it sitting on a grave, the name  _Anohana Yakumo_  written on its maker. My heart shattered and I had realized that she really did pass away but our love for her and the grief and denial of her death called her back from the dead to be with us for a little while. She didn't live past a certain point and our memories would have never allowed it.

As I quietly wept, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me.  _Are they hers?_  I turned around and found Suika, who asked, "Did'cha find her?" to which I replied, "Yes, yes, I did."

* * *

"Sometimes, I feel cold, do you?"

 


	97. Cold

Sometimes, I feel so cold. I don't know why but I do and no one else but Cirno does. Something isn't... _right_  about this, I know, but I can't make it go away.  _Am I dying?_  Coldness feels familiar, as I've felt cold before, many times before. Those were a little while ago, when Yume passed away, when An disappeared, when the bubbles stopped, when I was left all alone before someone nice found me, when Sattie died, when the tears wouldn't stop, and when the...I can't remember anymore.

* * *

She's become rather distant, preferring to keep to herself and stare out of the window. She's spent most of her time staring out of the window. It had grown easier to count the times she had something besides sit next to the window, as sitting and staring out of the window was all she had really done. She was quiet and content, although melancholic. If she noticed anyone looking in her direction, she would smile wanly and then go back to looking out of the window. I never did understand why she would stare out of that window and, more often, I wondered what she was looking at. W _as she watching the birds learn to fly or was she watching the seasons pass by?_  I never could figure that out but, being as I was, I left her to own devices, figuring it was better. It seemed to be I was wrong to do so.

* * *

Before a word could be uttered, morning, I heard Reimu, in a soft and even melancholic voice, ask, "Sometimes, I feel cold, do you?" Time seemed to have stopped right then and there and we were trying to piece together whether or not she may have asked that idly as one of the things she may say in that scenario. It wasn't, as she asked it again, her voice sounding even more melancholic than before. Faint tears were streaming down her face and she tried to stifle a whimper, smiling a faltering smile and the life seemingly faded from her ethereal blue eyes. When she received no answer, she went back to what she was doing, only to stop and open the window, letting in a cold breeze of air and while coaxing a bird to sit in her hand. She lightly stroked its feathers, before coaxing it to fly away, saying, "Good luck, wherever you go." After holding it in for a little bit longer, she wept bitterly, hugging herself, trying to comfort and make herself "warm" again.

She sobbed for a little while before she fell silent. She never did seem to become herself again, remaining melancholic and withdrawn. For her question, we could really give no answer but we knew we all sometimes feel cold.

* * *

"Again, shouldn't she be getting a haircut?"


	98. A Rope of White Hair, Milk, and Cows

In the time that has passed, we noticed that Reimu's hair was becoming harder and harder to pin up and maintain, as well as the fact the fact that it had grown long past her ankles and looked like a river of white on the floor. She hates the very thought of it being cut and latest attempt to cut it ended with her almost injuring someone and herself, however, anything that isn't cutting elicits no such reaction, as the other children tend to use it as a jump rope, often braiding it like that. She never did protest that, then again, she was probably unaware during when they do that, seeing how deeply she sleeps. When she awakes, she tends to take notice but only looks at it and then go about her business.

Of course, she did sometimes take to having little adventures and visiting other apartments to surprise and dismay, if not irritation. She often did that whenever bursts of curiousity brought her out of her melancholy or, for that matter, whenever she wanted to cheer herself up. However, she being herself tends to learn fast from something and it didn't take her long to figure something out in relation to her braided white hair. We would learn the hard way when she decided to put that to use.

It started one day when Suika came home mentioning something of cows and milk. I have seen cows, having turned feral, roaming about but they are usually pretty far away from here, living wherever there was once farmland. As she spoke of it, I noticed how, for once, Reimu's dull eyes seem to sparkle. Her thoughts were hard to discern but I could tell she had formulated something in her mind. To her, milk came from cans or the containers in the fridge specifically marked "DON'T drink, this is for babies!" and she doesn't really know what a cow is, thus she was more inclined to try to find out where she could find cows and thus find milk, having managed to put together that cows make milk. Without a second of hesitance and not too long after she formed the idea in her head and while we talked, she got out of the chair, walked to where the end of her braid was, grabbed it, and went somewhere else. Her disappearance went unnoticed until someone pointed out that she wasn't in her chair. We scoured the apartment building but didn't find her, leading Suika to go and look for her.

* * *

Searched all damn day to find li'l Reimu, let alone ponder how the hell she managed to get out. Seeing how long her hair is, I guess she must have used it as a rope. Of course, she probably got out so she see can see cows and get milk, since she seemed to have put two and two together about either of the two. Knowing her, she can get pretty far if she was determined or somethin', although she isn't very hard to find, as her hair is longer than her body. I walked around, lookin' for her, until I caught sight of a pink bow at the end of a long braid. I picked it up and followed the rest of it to her. She was sitting, staring into the distance. To get her attention, I tapped on her head. She looked at me, swatted me in the nose, and then said, "Coooowsss."

Before I could say something back, she reached for my horns and said, "Coooows-ss." She wanted her way, so I put her on my back and said, "I'll take you to the things that go 'Moo!' and maybe then you'll come home." She kicked at me like I seen that girl do with an elephant like in that thing called a movie and asked, "Milk?" to which I said, "Yeah, and milk, cows make milk." She snorted and laughed for the first time in a while. She's usually so sad but, not this time, she's smiling and laughing, much like she was before. We walked for a while before we finally made it to the cows. "See, Reimu, cows." I said, pointing to a group of really fat ones, to which she said, "Moo!"

* * *

"Perhaps a poem to express what I feel, dear son-in law?"

 


	99. Poetic Memories

As of late, I had taken to writing poems. I haven't too much experience with that but it does better to express my feelings or to tell a story as I desire to. Frankly, the poetry does put me at a mind of ease, causing me reminisce on happier days passed and, sometimes, sad ones, like the winter the proceeded. So far, the poems I have written are winter related, which is rather fair, seeing as the cold season has arrived and the snow is on the ground.

_The snow is_   
_As light as sugar but is as_   
_Bitter as fallen_

_Tears_

I suppose the snow is as light as sugar but, to me, it will always be as bitter as fallen tears. I've shed plenty of tears that winter and the winter before, as did everyone else. That winter was so full of sorrow and madness, I yearn to forget. Sometimes scars fade but wounds do not always heal. Of course, within the madness and sorrow, came joy, bitter-sweetness.

_Hello, little one_   
_Even if it be short of time but, in this world,_   
_I welcome you_

_Anyway_

Of course, I cannot deny that she may really have passed away, all those years ago. At the same, the winter does remind me of Yuyuko's death. She committed suicide at the end of winter and the memory, despite being at least a little over 1,000 years ago is still fresh in my mind. If I was doomed to that existence, I will have ended it as well.

_My poor friend_   
_Why did you have to be doomed to_   
_A miserable life?_

_Death was your sweet release_   
_From this cold monochrome world_   
_Where the blood_

_Of your sorrows was_   
_The only splash of red_

I suppose I should reminisce on sweeter times, like when Reimu kissed Ren on the nose. He was in his fox form, if I recall, and he was napping on the couch. Of course, Reimu, who wanted some company, couldn't get on the couch on her own but he didn't mind, thus he woke up from his nap, picked up, and sat her on the couch. As he went back to sleep, she surprised him by kissing him on the nose.

_Affectionate and sweet_   
_She wanted a bit of company, so_   
_She kissed you_

_On the nose_

_A reward for your kindness_

What about the time I had found Ran? I was so lonely then and, from the moment she was thrust into this unforgiving world, she, too, was alone, forsaken by the very ones that gave birth to her, much like I was. We were the same in that regard, both abandoned when the world was very new to us and us new to the world.

_Hello, little one_   
_A shame you were tossed away and left alone_   
_But, fret not_

_I'm here and you'll never be alone._

_I was lonely, too_   
_Don't you know?_   
_I've been lonely for some time_

_But..._

_Here you are and_   
_Now, I am not alone_   
_You are here_

_With me_

_We will never be alone_

I often look back on that night fondly, preferring to relive it in my dreams. That night was years ago and, now, it seems like it was only yesterday that Ran was so small. Yesterday. Of course, with her, later came little Chen. I remember that day, just as I do with the day I met Ran.

_She placed you_   
_In my lap, asking if she could keep_   
_You_

_I said, "Yes"_

_You were apart of our family from then on out._

Sometimes, though, with memories comes more melancholy, like Reimu and Yu's illnesses and how one claimed the other. I never did forget that troubling time, really, doubly so since Ran was pregnant again. To a degree, there was an air of melancholy and joyousness, merging to create something bittersweet.

_Life and death_   
_Is juxtaposed, as is joy and melancholy_   
_Of birth and_   
_Illness_

_You passed away_   
_Some time ago and I know_   
_Not how long_

_It seems it was a short time ago_   
_That you passed_   
_At least you've reached peace_

_Little one, sweetheart_   
_I know you are happy, yet, at the same time_   
_It seems as_

_Though you are sad._   
_A deep-seated melancholy is_   
_Within you_

_Being covered by happiness_

_With birth comes death_   
_With death comes sadness but_   
_With birth comes joy_

_The next step in_   
_An everlasting bittersweet cycle_

_You have become aware of this, too._

I have been writing poems all day in my spare time and, now, I am much too tired. Maybe, I shall dream some my favorite dreams.

_The moon has risen_   
_And the sun has gone down_   
_I retire_

_To my bed_

_Under the stars_

_Where I shall be at peace_   
_Peacefully dreaming, as the night_   
_goes on._

_In the winter_

_As the snow falls_

* * *

"If you could grant me one wish, what would it be?"

 


	100. Chapter 100: Wish

It was a quiet evening and Reimu had insisted I'd take her out to the balcony so she'd look at the stars, when the clouds cleared and as the gentle wind blew through our hair The snow was still on the ground and we were wrapped in blankets. Of course, she also wanted to talk and have a little conversation, even if she didn't set the timing right. As the wind was blowing and as she was looking at the stars, she turned to me and asked, "If you could grant me one wish, what would it be?" Her tears turned into snowflakes and the life had disappeared from her eyes. For a moment, she looked as though she was no longer alive, rather, she looked like a ghost, which is probably what someone would look if they had been so melancholic.

Naturally, I didn't know what to say or how to answer her, let alone know the wish that she would make.  _What would she wish for?_  I thought, as I wondered about what sort of wish a person such as herself could be so willing to ask for. As I searched in my mind for answer, she then turned to me, smiled one of her melancholic smiles, and asked, "If I could grant you one wish, what would it be?" For that question I had answer and I whispered,  _"To live."_

"To live?" she asked me, snowflake tears falling from her eyes

"Yes."

"Who and why do you wish this?"

"Because life, no matter how short it be due to whatever circumstances, is special and something to be enjoyed."

"That is your reason but who did you wish it for?"

"Reimu, maybe its time for you go back to bed."

"If you insist." she answered in melancholic resignation. Her unusually cold hand grasped mine and she let me take her back inside and back to our room. The next morning, it seemed that she had passed away in her sleep but, fortunately, she hadn't. In the end, I could never answer her. I wanted her to live and she would probably never know.

* * *

"They've grown, haven't they?

 


	101. The Passage of Time and a Child's Wisdom

Time seems to have passed by so quickly, really it has. The children are much larger than what they were before, especially Reimu, who isn't so little anymore. The babies have now graduated from their diapers and have started to use the toilet, and the ones before them are now big enough to romp with the older children. Sanae and Youmu's learned a bit more to say, although the latter isn't too advanced but she can speak coherently, even if her grammatical structure is off. I must have spent too much time in my flat that I haven't bothered to visit anyone to know how they were doing in their affairs.

Of course, on such ever so rare time when I had come out, I found Winston and his older brother arguing again. Their fighting was as frequent as it was entertaining, although this one was about Baka complaining about his life and little Reimu again. From what I could make out, it was about him demanding that Reimu's long hair be cut, to which Ren replied, "So says the guy that comes to my apartment and bitch about nothing." and then he said something along the lines of the former being his father's favorite and how he was . As I noted, Reimu was sitting in the middle of the two, looking at him then at Baka before she said, "If you hate your existence than put an end to it or make it better and, if you despise mine just as much and blame it for your misery, then end mine if you think it will please you!" This made the world silent and time itself froze.

When she had noticed the silence, she recomposed herself, stood up, smiled a broken smile, and said, with a notable growl, "All you do is complain of your life, yet you never do anything to make it better. If you hate your existence, then end it where it is. If you think ending mine will please you, then do it! Dance, fucker, dance! Do it! After all, you have nothing left to lose from putting an end to a little girl, especially one with nothing left to lose. What's the matter? What upsets you? Is it me or is it yourself? Dance, fucker, my patience is wearing thin! Hah-hah, you are just like all the rest, thinking the world owes you living, yet quick to complain. I don't want to be sick anymore and all I've done is to cause trouble, just a burden, and  _you_  complain! If you despise what is your existence, then end it. If you blame me for your misery, then, fine, end it, end it where it is! Do it! You have nothing left to lose from putting an end to a little girl. You complain of how miserable your life is, when no one wants to be someone else's burden or to be sick or different.  ** _I'M DYING_** , don't you understand that?! Aren't I dying? Aren't I? Nothing can be done about that and I don't complain. I should be complaining but complaining won't do a thing and neither will it make the sickness go away. You complain and bitch, when those that have the right don't!" When she finished, she turned to walk away, with rivers of tears falling from her eyes and her white hair askew, falling over her face.

Before she retreated back into the flat, she turned to Baka and Ren, saying, "Everyone has an hourglass." She started to sob and then she laughed, before doing a mixture of both and finally retreating. I looked at Baka and said, "She is right, you know. Perhaps, making your life better would make you less likely to complain, especially since the child has far more to complain about than you." She had shut him up for a while, which was good, as we had grown tired of his complaining and all that, at the same time, we had wondered about Reimu, who, as before, was little more than a ghost in living skin, speaking less and doing just as much, going largely unnoticed.

* * *

_Blood runs as blood runs deep_

 


	102. Reimu's Musings (poem insert)

Blood runs as blood runs deeps  
The bitter sorrows and the lingering feel

Scars fade but wounds do not heal  
Forever more festering during the remaining sands of time

Slowly they fade, yet, they still return  
Turning he blood to poison

As the sorrows linger on  
And as the blood runs deep

* * *

"Mommy, are you alright?"

"Just tired is all, I'll be fine

 


	103. Ran's Illness

So far, I've been spending a lot of my days bedridden and too tired to move. Its illness, of course, and I know that but knowing does not belay the worry from myself and the others. I've been sick for a while before, although I cannot shrug this off as a common illness and I do fear it being terminal. Hopefully, it is just psychosomatic and will go away at some point, although, it has lingered for some time. As I lie in bed, I wonder how the others will fare without me. I know damn well that I will be much mourned and Reimu will be both pissed off and sorrowful that I had broken a promise to her. Of course, she'd forgive me for it, as death is well out of anyone's control, even in terms of suicide, then again, she is already waiting for her own demise, not even fighting against it.

Of course, my illness did manage to get her to do more than sit in that chair and stare out of the window, although it did drive her into more melancholy. I often had to shoo the other children and her away, although, she often lingered, napping right outside the door even. She was funny that way. Quick to endure, yet so quick to comfort, just as she was when Yu passed away. As I was trying to sleep, she walked over to me, took my hand, and said, "I love you, forever and always." As she walked out with tearful eyes, she turned to me and asked, "If you don't awake, I'll see you again, promise that you'll wait for me?" to which I responded, "Yes, I'll wait for you but do not come so soon." Barely wiping away a tear, she nodded, before walking out of the door. Throughout the rest of my illness, she never lingered by the door again and neither did the other children, save Chen, wanting no more than to be near me. She would spend seconds, minutes, hours, days, and weeks by my side.

After a little while of illness, I finally became well once again but not to heavy degree. I was stricken with bouts of paralysis and weakness, leaving me unable to do very much and said illness is sporadic occurrence, making it chronic. I suppose being afflicted with some paralysis and chronic illness is better than being dead, although, I have grown so accustomed to being able to do so much. I hope I am not too much of a burden and that said illness won't eventually take my life, much like Yu's did her.

* * *

"She's nice to me all of a sudden."

"Meh-be she make peace wi' muhron."

"Yes, maybe she wants to make peace with you, to put the past behind her, despite the fact that, in reality, she probably wouldn't give a damn otherwise, not that she damn well should."

 


	104. Conversations and One-Upmanship V

Unusually so, Reimu seemed to greet Baka's presence without hostility or mischief. It was a first, seeing as she had treated his presence as he did hers, with hostility or, for that matter, indifference (then again, being so melancholic, she probably did that with everyone unless directly addressed). Of course, she didn't have any other reason to treat him that way besides what he treated her, not that she really shouldn't. However, it was rather strange, leading me to wonder if something was wrong or, maybe, she had come to forgive him of how he treated her. As Ran often said, Reimu is just so hard to understand. When Baka did make note of this, Youmu pointed out as only she can that perhaps she did want to make peace, to which I clarified, saying, "Yes, maybe she wants to make peace with you, to put the past behind her, despite the fact that, in reality, she probably wouldn't give a damn otherwise, not that she damn well should."

He rolled his eyes and promptly asked, in his smartass way, "Your point?"

"My point is that, with all of the unjust hostility and cruelty you've dealt her, she oughtn't be kind to you at all but, since you asked if she can forgive, then said question is answered, as that is what she seems to have done, seeing as she isn't treating you how she normally does, unless something is wrong, in which case, you stop bewitching her to make her nice to you, or she is setting you up for more of her mischief, in which case, I willn't have put that past her, as she tends to be smarter that what she seems. If you're bewitching her and it turns out not be the latter, I will come over there to your apartment and I will kick your ass with extreme prejudice."

"Uh..."

"I mean it and I will leave and return with others to kick your ass and we will keep doing that until you are nothing. You had best remember that."

He could find nothing to say and Reimu still continued to be kind to him. To much relief, she was only being herself, as she wasn't showing any signs of being possessed as only I had seen. Of course, in a subtle way, by being polite to him, showing him how he wasn't being with her, she was holding a certain amount of power over him, using said power to shape and mold, along with teach, something that all children are capable of doing. Understandably and beneficially so, Baka did become a much better kitsune since.

* * *

"I suppose."

 


	105. "I suppose"

"I suppose" was her answer to almost everything as her illness didn't really allow her much of anything. It was a chronic illness like Yu's but, according to Kaguya, unlike Yu's, wasn't terminal and neither was it what she called "progressive", although she did state that she probably had some kind of sickness before and it messed with her nervous and mobility system, leaving this one. To certain degree, she was depressed but, at the same time, she wasn't anything like Reimu, who does pretty much nothing besides eat, sleep, and act on whatever impulse so happens to come by, mostly stay sitting in the chair all the time and looking out of the window. Of course, she would get up to move and try to find something to do or read, though she mostly preferred to keep to herself, not wanting to bother anyone.

I wanted my Ran-mommie back, so I tried to get her to be more interested and get a response other than, "I suppose." It started when I asked her if she'd like to go outside, to which she looked at me and asked, "Where to outside?" I rolled my eyes and said, "On the balcony of course." To my disappointment, she said, "I suppose." Apparently, in that context, it had meant "Yes, let's go out on the balcony." Pushing her wheelchair, we went out onto the balcony. It was midday, when the sun was not very high and neither was it low and when it was warm. It was quiet at that time, as it should be, and we just sat, watching the time go by.

As we were sitting, not saying a word to each other, she turned to me and kissed me on the forehead, whispering, " _I love you and, no matter what happens, I will always be with you, don't you ever forget that."_

* * *

"I have to go away now."

 


	106. "I have to go now"

We awoke the next morning to find Reimu missing and the chair in which she sat empty. That was where she'd go at this time of day but she wasn't there. Something about her absence seem to echo in my head and I think it went something about her getting up in the middle of the night and saying,  _"I have to go now."_  It hadn't taken us long for us to realize that she had run away but we didn't know where to, however, we wanted to find our sister and bring her home. Of course, Wren wants to figure out why she ran away or if she'd even come back. I want to bring her back and, that way, we'll be a family again and everything will be right again. Although, finding her would be tricky, as we don't know where she would go, not that we allowed that to stop us.

In wanting to find Reimu, we climbed on Eno's back and steered her out, Cirno following after. No one knew where we were going and no one knew we had gone but we did leave to find Reimu and bring her home. We had searched and traveled, not once recovering any sight or trace of her.  _Had she passed away?_  No, she didn't and we knew that. We continued on for about a week or two until we eventually found her at what was our shelter when we were lost in the forest. Something had drawn her back here and we would never know what. Perhaps, she'd return here again.

* * *

"She's never really had that promised to her and she knows that."


	107. Don't Cry Over Me

We awoke the next morning to find Reimu missing and the chair in which she sat empty. That was where she'd go at this time of day but she wasn't there. Something about her absence seem to echo in my head and I think it went something about her getting up in the middle of the night and saying,  _"I have to go now."_  It hadn't taken us long for us to realize that she had run away but we didn't know where to, however, we wanted to find our sister and bring her home. Of course, Wren wants to figure out why she ran away or if she'd even come back. I want to bring her back and, that way, we'll be a family again and everything will be right again. Although, finding her would be tricky, as we don't know where she would go, not that we allowed that to stop us.

In wanting to find Reimu, we climbed on Eno's back and steered her out, Cirno following after. No one knew where we were going and no one knew we had gone but we did leave to find Reimu and bring her home. We had searched and traveled, not once recovering any sight or trace of her.  _Had she passed away?_  No, she didn't and we knew that. We continued on for about a week or two until we eventually found her at what was our shelter when we were lost in the forest. Something had drawn her back here and we would never know what. Perhaps, she'd return here again.

* * *

"She's never really had that promised to her and she knows that."


	108. A Fragmented Memory and a Broken Heart

It was a rather unusual day, which began with Renko, almost unexpectedly, walking over to a napping Enoki, saying, "Puppy..." and began petting her. It was an interesting sort of interaction, especially since Wren seemed to, for a moment, regress to a small child, a baby, practically. Something in her clicked and I could tell. She had remembered something from the past and it was showing. What did she remember, I didn't know but I knew she was remembering something. It was interesting as it was sobering, considering that, due to illness, Renko suffered a degree of brain damage, leading to some mild blindness and some memory loss, so she couldn't see and neither could she really remember much besides her own name and a few others. Kaguya stated that she might be able to reclaim her memories but not much could be said about her blindness, as there is no sort of medicines or treatments for her lost vision.

As she petted Enoki, she was remembering something that was partially lost to her because of her illness. She was petting her for a little while before she suddenly stopped and broke into tears, fighting in vain to find the rest of a fragmented memory. It was like her trying to put back together the pieces of broken glass, the pieces to a shattered heart. Her heart was shattered and there was really no way she could put the broken pieces back together. She fought her hardest to remember, despite knowing it was futile. It was awful to see such a little girl like that, yet like a fatalistic Reimu, we knew not how to comfort her. She couldn't be, of course, as anyone losing their memories is the most sorrow thing that occurs, as memories are what makes life precious and they are unique to everyone. Sadly, she's lost what's made her so happy.

For awhile, as it will seem, never again would she really remember the identity of this memory elusive "puppy". She mourned that greatly and hadn't a reason to do otherwise. By the time she probably would remember who that "puppy" was in her memories, they will not have been there anymore. She knows this, too, leaving her with a realization that shall haunt her...forever.

* * *

_I do miss your voice_

 


	109. No Greater Sorrow

There is no greater sorrow for me than to  
Recall a time of happiness when  
I am in misery

I'm in misery because I miss you  
Ever so much and, to be honest, I am reminded  
That you are not here

I do miss your voice  
I really miss your smile  
I very much miss how you would cheer me up

Especially, when I've needed that the most

Right now, I could use some of your cheering up  
I suppose memories will have to do  
Although, that just makes it more painful

As I remember, I speak to your absence  
Wherever you are, I wonder if my voice can  
Reach you, even though I can't

My love, you were always by my side  
"Together forever" we promised one another in our  
Wedding vows

How funny that promise between seems to be broken

No matter what happened  
You were always at my side  
Through thick and thin

You loved me, your devotion never wavering  
And, I loved you, thus you'll always be with me  
Yet, I continue living with your absence

We will never see one another again  
Not in this life, although I am sorry to tell you that  
You'll be waiting for a while and...

I don't know when I'll see you again, my love

But I do know you wait for me

There is still no greater sorrow for me  
Than to recall our happiness in when in misery  
Since, you've passed away...

_...Ren_

And, as your grieving widow, I must note  
That there has been no greater sorrow, then for me  
To recall our happy times together

When suffering the misery in the aftermath  
Of your passing.

* * *

"One shouldn't ask someone to make a promise that cannot be kept and neither should one try to make such a promise. A promise that cannot be kept will only bring misery."

 


	110. Promises Born of Misery: Sakuya's Musings

"One shouldn't ask someone to make a promise that cannot be kept and neither should one try to make such a promise. A promise that cannot be kept will only bring misery." she idly remarked one day, the grief of losing someone closed to her. It seemed not all that long ago that either of them passed, all though Ren's passing was fairly recent. She did remember that, at their wedding, he promised Ran together forever, yet he died, thus death did they part, at the same time, to her, before he died, he told her that he'd wake up and that everything would be alright. He couldn't keep either promise, not in this life, and, while he didn't have to, he couldn't reassure Reimu otherwise, as her mind will not have allowed it, even when she knew the truth.

When she made that remark, I found it rather strange since she had us promise something that couldn't be promised, only to realize this. She hated the very concept of death and, after some time of seeing those close to her pass away, she made us promise not to die, thus making a promise born from her misery therein. That was a promise born of what she would probably call selfish misery, even if it caused her more pain, which it did, thus that is why she had us make a new promise and that was to meet her in death and in another life if that'd be granted. That new promise was one that could be kept, thus allowing to her accept death, perhaps even welcoming her own. In that note, I wish her to have a peaceful demise, as only she will have liked, as this life, especially hers, has too much suffering in which death is freedom for those who cannot bear to live with it any longer.

As I thought, the others never reacted to what she said. I was struck strangely, developing curious thoughts trying to sort out what she said.

* * *

"I think I remember now..."

  
  



	111. Remembered Too Late

It was a matter of time before some of Renko's memories did return, however, they came rather too late, as she's spent some time waiting and searching about the apartment for Ren. I can't remember how long it's been but it wasn't too long ago that he's passed away. She goes about, feeling around, and asking as to whether or not anyone has seen him and when he'll return. It's pitiful seeing her search for someone's who's passed on. We'd have to tell her at some point, however, we are not too really sure of what the end result of that could be but it is better to tell the truth, rather than let her continue looking for someone that is no longer there. It would be betrayal to let her go on living like that and Ren would not have wanted that. If she's told that he's passed away, it would probably lead to her denying he'd ever passed away, yet she would accept it. We'd see him again, someday, but not in this life.

As the others deliberated on how to tell her, I got out of the chair, went to the door, opened it, and called her name. When she was in the apartment, I sat her down, to which she asked why, in which I gave the answer, "There is something I have to tell you and it involve's Ren."

"What happened to him and will he come back?"

"Renko, yes, something's happened to him, and, no, he won't come back."

"How come?"

"Renko, you don't remember this and, since some of your memories have returned, I think it'd be best if you knew but the reason as to why Ren won't come back is because he passed away a little while ago."

"No, no, no..., that's not true! It can't be"

"I'm sorry, Renko, but it's true, he's passed away and...I miss 'im just as much as you do."

She was crying and I had thrown my arms around her, missing him just along with her. The truth had to come out, even if she did remember Ren too late. Somewhere, wherever he was, I could feel him comforting us, too, and, wherever he is, he misses us. The truth had to come out and she had reason to know, even if her memories deny that.

* * *

"Another day, bedridden, I suppose."

 


	112. Diary Pages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is being told from Yuuka's POV- Amoridere

Bedridden, how dreadful  
This illness is anything short of mild  
Bedridden and ill, dreadful and miserable

I haven't much to do  
And I doubt I will ever again  
Thus, I muse

I muse on the events recorded in  
My diary and how many pages I have left blank  
For all I know, I shall at least

Fill one page or two with more entries

As I ponder, what should I fill those pages with?

I haven't a clue, although  
Perhaps, it should be a little  
Composition

That's it, a little composition.

* * *

"How long ago do think that's been?"

* * *

 


	113. The Hourglass and a Cryptic Lullaby

It had been some time, about a year or two, I think, since Reimu had returned from wherever she had gone and so much has changed in so very little time. She seemed to be virtually unchanged, aside from being a bit more enlightened, which wasn't anything a new as she more often than not did learn of a new thing. If I remember, she left without saying goodbye and neither did she give any reasons as to why she left, leaving us to find her with no success and wondering about her reasons. Strangely, she returned on her own accord and went back to sitting in the chair by the window, as melancholic as she had ever been. Of course, when she did come with her, she brought back something with her, an hourglass.

Hourglasses were something she had often spoke about before leaving. She sat by the window as it emptied into the bottom, before flipping it over and repeating the process again and again. I couldn't seem to understand why she'd be so fixated on the device she had brought home or, for that matter, why she even went back to sitting in that chair. She didn't speak much, preferring to be quiet, except for when she sang, be that soft. She was singing a lullaby, going by the melody, yet I couldn't understand what she was singing.

* * *

_V'dri, qualla voen'llyl nindol guor'dien_   
_Dal natha elggor ligrr_

* * *

Her lullaby sounded as though she were pleading to some unknown presence, someone that probably was no longer there.

* * *

_Lu'golhyrus wun nindol tresk'ri nindel you've zet rathrea_   
_Zo welrd zaxat dis chirr chaxainow din freew pi weucts pe jet whoaxar_

* * *

Of course, after some time of hearing it, I do wish she would stop, as her haunting lullaby echoes through the halls at night, even though she is sleep. Actually, every since she did bring home that hourglass and sing her lullaby, strange things started to occur. If anything, I found myself curious to figure out who she was singing it to and for what reason.

* * *

_Ke holo Pum caxannet fut wirr vook ug zolo seen_   
_Vel'drav l'sluden d'illness lu'viggtuii nau velendev valbyl_

* * *

It had taken me some time, since she had gotten home to fully decode the lullaby and, when I did, it turns out she was pleading to the ghosts of those passed on to finally be set at ease.

* * *

_Peniz chaxaupp fohict te fo vupp cembelt, Pum'rr fo axarlidd_   
_Hon vupp wheulgraxapt omptios, Pum skaxarr nein ug, tee_   
_Hwuen t'yin, xuat zexen'uma wun l'tresk'ri nindel you've zet rathrea, v'dri_

* * *

The hourglass, a reminder of her mortality and what she's learned to anticipate, and, her lullaby, a plea to those passed to rest in peace.

* * *

_V'dri, Usstan plead, tlu duul'sso, Usstan joros, xuat zexen'uma rathrea_   
_Ulu tlu ussta conamori, Usstan zhal conamori dos t'sek_   
_Dit weurd fo sorbisk bel vo te axash ug te cembelt vo_

_Fut, peniz clupp evol vo, proaxaso_   
_Whoaxal zis dyick kilr nud proaxa_   
_Trour, loch, fo bloo_

_Dos ph'duul'sso, xuat elendar ulu tlu lu'golhyrus_   
_Loch din doaxaco, zo subbolick weurd ke axawaxaupp_   
_Dos ph'duul'sso, xuat elendar ulu tlu lu'golhyrus_

_Nindol elggor ligrr orn valm dos, foltangi_   
_Jhal xuat zexen'uma rathrea ulu conamori ilta niml_   
_Sko whaxas te pe zaxat en whol ewn_

* * *

When the hourglass ran out again, she didn't move to flip it over and, ultimately, she stopped singing her lullaby. She later did get out of that chair, even though she was melancholic, still, however, I guess she's moved on.

* * *

"Someday, I will go to where I cannot be followed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the note of some of the language in Reimu's lullaby for the dead, well, actually, some of that is Drow and the rest of that is just gibberish, both of which I used translators for.~ Amoridere


	114. As We Were Sipping Tea (Poem Insert)

_"Someday, I will go to where I cannot be followed."_  
was what she said to me  
On a quiet afternoon

As we were sipping tea

She's been with us  
Through thick and thin  
Sacrificing for and saving us

She's lived a long time  
I know, yet, I would hate  
To see her go

She's done so much, yet  
She's asked for so little, now  
She's warned that she won't be here forever

It isn't time yet  
I know but I'd hate to imagine  
Seeing her go

And, endure such heartbreak

_"Someday, I will go to where I cannot be followed."_

Was what she said to me  
On a quiet afternoon

As we were sipping tea

* * *

"Sometimes, one's reflections can hide messages."

 


	115. Mirrors of Madness

Her bouts of madness had become frequent and, as of late, we had often found her staring in the mirrors, stating the reflections to have messages. We've grown used to that, although that didn't make the heartache any better, actually, it was a reminder of what cannot be fixed. Our lives, no matter how shattered, we've managed repair and move on, yet not all pieces could be put back together and not all damage could be repaired. She suffered, living in a world of delirium, a cage from whence she couldn't escape. Her only comfort was her moments of coherance and those had started to become few.

The more she had claimed to see the messages in the mirror, the more self destructive she had become and, by that, the mirrors were often stained in blood from her trying to scratch at them and her fingers were cut from the cracks. It wasn't just mirrors, it was also windows, except she couldn't claw at that so easily, though she did leave scratches. It was painful watching that all take place, leaving me to wonder if I should take her outside some place and leave her there as a form of euthenasia. Of course, I couldn't bear to do that, yet, it hurt seeing her suffer so much clawing at her reflections in the mirrors of madness. If there were messages in the mirrors, then only she seemed to able to read them and would be driving herself to the verge of death.

After seeing her hands bleed for yet another countless time, we knew not what else to do besides lock her away. It was what had to be done and, yet, despite being so rebelious before, she didn't fight it. She's spent most her time, locked away in a darkened room, with little company, aside from a few rats, to her name, huddled in a corner, uttering and or hummning something we couldn't understand. To be honest, I hoped a flicker of rage would drive her to try to break free, fight the way things were done like she used to. No such flicker came and she just accepted it as something to be done, accepted it as something that was to happen anyway. Her will, I suppose, was broken. I pitied her and mourned what she, in all sense of the word, lost. What was lost to her couldn't be regained and she didn't pretend. She  ** _couldn't_**  pretend and her acceptance was her only form of reality that she could really attain. There is no real treatment for her sickness, besides primitive means, and, frankly, besides the fact that she's accepted it, I wonder if, deep within, she hated being locked away.

Silently, I begged for her come back to us again but what was left behind was lost to the mirrors of madness.

* * *

"You _ **bitch!**_ "

"Chen, we've been over this! We weren't given a choice in the matter!"

 


	116. Mirrors of Madness II

She was seething, exuding a maddening rage, dead set to destroy anything in her path. Her equals ran from her and made attempts to shield themselves from her rage and the lingering sickness of it all. We've been over this before, I should note, and, if we had a choice in the matter, then we wouldn't have resorted to primitive methods. She didn't get a say in this and, whether that be the case or not, she was angered by the choice greatly. Of course, it should have been expected as such, as the bond between her and the girl locked away was stronger than any other she may have formed and, of all of us, she had clung to her the most.

It was a hard, I won't deny, one of the hardest decisions that has had to be made and it had to be made. She draws closer and closer, the rage being so much that I could smell it in the air and it was nauseating. She was coming towards me, I knew, and whatever emotion she had was going to start raining down like fireballs. It'd be a mercy, to be honest, if she had taken the time to kill me. Maybe she should, if she thinks that will satisfy her.

* * *

Hearing "You  _ **bitch**_!" made us want to see what the fuss was about. Well, it was about Reimu and the fact that she was locked up in a room. It wasn't easy choice and, to be honest, it wasn't a choice. It just was. She had to be locked up and that is the sad fact. She was like something broken and, like something broken, all of the pieces cannot be put back together again, not back the way they were. The pieces never do seem fit together and that's because they don't. Reimu's been broken and all of her pieces will never fit back together. She knows that and she there's nothin' she can do about it.

If we had a choice, then it wouldn't be lockin' her away, however, we don't got any other choice and it was something that just was. A choice that wasn't a choice. As we were watching, Chen said, "I don't care if we've been over this! What the hell makes you think that it was for the good of Reimu to be locked away?!"

"We weren't given any other choice, Chen!"

"If Ren were here, he would never have allowed you to lock Reimu away!"

"Well, sweetheart, beloved dutiful son-in-law isn't and, right now, I do wish he was, however, I am quite sure he would accept what has had to be done, as it that is what it is!"

"Damn! Don't you know how to make decisions for the best?!"

"...I've had to make decisions for the better and, while I let this be known, they were always at my expense! Each and every last sacrifice I've made were for the best and, be this as noted, many of then I wasn't given a choice in, it was either do or die and I chose do because the alternative would be even more unbearable. You think I wanted to lock Reimu away?! No, I didn't, yet I didn't really have a choice and the alternatives are not favorable, as a matter of fact, the alternatives would be euthanasia, not allowing her life to continue in this state, or abandoning her, of course, it would be selfish to end her life and or leave her to fend for herself so we won't have to witness her suffer or take care of her any longer. She is living with an illness that cannot be cured, yet, very little can be done about it, so we lock her away. We could be worse in our treatment, we won't deny, as, while she is locked away, we aren't denying her sustenance, comfort, or any ounce of contact, like they would in those horrible bedlam houses, actually, we do converse with her or, to the very least, try to. So, to answer your question, yes, I do know how to make decisions for the best and making decisions for the best doesn't always mean they may be the best course of action, however, it is better than no decision. If you're angry at me, fine, be angry, call me a bitch while your at it, however, I can only hope you'd forgive me for the choices I've made. If you can't, then end my life, act as you see fit, if you think it'll satisfy you."

Fatass,... _Yukari_ , never lied on that. She did truly honest make choices for the best, even if they weren't quite the best of choices. She sacrificed and endured. She's experienced the worst sides of obligation and defilement and sacrificed whatever she had, consequences be damned. She let captors abuse her, batter her up, and use her like a toy and she's sent her beautiful babies away, sacrificing herself. She's given up food and comfort, suffered insanity, had her back broken, and, to this day, she still plays the martyr. Locking Reimu in the room was the hardest choice she's had to make and, in the end, she wasn't given a choice, just like all the rest. That caged bird, that soiled, bruised, battered, and struggling caged bird, would never truly be free and she would continue being the martyr, to the very end, asking for so little and getting little in return.

* * *

We were left shocked with silence. Mom-Mom never said that to an'one before but she did truly regret what she did. We had to let that issue alone, so what good would it do to stir up a fuss over something that just is? None, really, yet Chen never did see it that way. As we all know, Reimu can't help but being minus more than few screws, yet she would always be Reimu, which makes lockin' her up hard to deal with. It had to be done, there ain't no changin' that, although, I do wish something else could have been done. We were without any sort of choice and there is nothin' else to said or done.

As I listened to that whole fuss take place, I thought about Reimu being locked up in the dark and I wondered if she'd forgive us. She didn't fight or nothin' when she was locked away, yet I wondered if she'd forgive us for it or, for that matter, if she'd even be allowed out. Was she like Mom-Mom, a caged bird who yearned no more than be free, or is she content? That answer ain't gonna come, I know, and she tells no tales, so we wouldn't get any answers. She's trapped in her ol' web of dreams and deliriums and she'd go to her grave, probably unable to escape them, if death be not any mercy.

Pity. Tragedy and mercy may as well be holdin' hands and dancin' together under the same willow tree.

* * *

Chen stood there, quiet, and my memories plagued me yet again. As I thought about Reimu being locked away and the choices that had to be made, I was thrown back in the past by my memories. I remembered her pained screams and I remembered her madness, a cage she couldn't seem to free herself from. I remembered what the warden put her through and I remembered her thin arms wrapping around me and a reconditioned Reimu. I also remembered her cradling a soaked and limp Chen and I especially remembered her screaming her name. I remembered her giving up her prized earrings so we could have a home and I remembered her tears as she sent us away from danger. I remembered her back being broken and, yet, despite that, she still persisted. I remembered all of her choices and none of them can even be called choices, no, as she had to what she had to do, even if it brought her misery in the end.

As I remembered, I thought about Reimu, her little former human child. I thought about how awful I had been towards her, which lead to her legs being paralyzed and I had remembered how I tried to end her life. Despite either, she forgave me. I remembered how she was imprisoned and what they did to her. The scars are there and they cut us deeply knowing we cannot remove the conditioning from her. As I thought about her, I remembered something the had said to me, some time ago...

_"I don't want to be sick anymore."_

I couldn't make it better and, yet, she told that to me, even when she knew that there was little, if anything, I could do. She sought comfort and I couldn't give it to her. She's plagued with mental illness and poor health and we, including her, are powerless to do anything about it, so she accepts it as such. As I thought about that, I remembered that she had told us not to cry over her, really. It was an act of love and she didn't want us to suffer in the wake of her death and neither did she seem to want us to cry over the fact that her sanity was fading.

We didn't wish to lock her away and we were given no choice. I suppose she and Yukari are now one and the same. Both birds trapped in their cages. Reimu, trapped in a caged forged of bloodstained mirrors of madness, and Yukari, a broken bird forevermore bound by the chains of the past and choices that she hadn't a choice but to make. It had to be done and still she lives in the darkness. I still yearn for her to attempt to break free and fight back against the hand that fate has dealt her.

* * *

It was a choice that had to be made, at Yukari's insistence and it was. Of course, she does regret locking her away. She didn't have a choice and none of us had say in it. In the end, she never really did have a say and it was something that she had to do. She had a choice that wasn't even a choice. She'd never forgive herself for it and Reimu never did attempt to fight the choice made. She still sits, in the darkness, virtually alone, aside from a few mice, a spider, and her deliriums. I wondered if she yearned for escape, yearning to find the light to pull her out again.

Some time back, despite being ill, she told us not to cry over her, using what little time she felt she's had to comfort our grief in a final act of love, even though she knew it'd be impossible. We mourned her as though she was dying and she may as well be, as I can't imagine spending remainder one's existence locked away. It was interesting how she didn't cry out for comfort, yet she wanted no more than to comfort those she loved. I suppose she was at peace with it, even though we weren't. Bitter memories of her kindness and madness are virtually all we have left of what used to be. Of all the horrible things she's seen and endured, in the end, she was broken. She was betrayed by it all and the only thing for her to really look forward to was death, as living locked away, even if it be for her own good, is an inconceivable existence.

What lingers in this apartment, what still continued to linger, is her presence. She was all but absent, yet she wasn't entirely with us.

* * *

As Chen and Mommy seemed to be in a bit of a stare-down, my mind was elsewhere. My memory was hazy from when I met and Mommy and Reimu, yet, I did remember. I was happy to have met her and she was happy to have met me as well. Frankly, I am very happy to have a mommy and another sister, 'sides Wren. It was cold, then, winter, and the world had seemingly gone to sleep. I remembered how much we've laughed and loved, how much we've clung to one another. I couldn't cling to her now and it seemed like only yesterday that we've just met.

We've just met and, now, she's locked away, with nothing to cling to. What decision is right, even if it not is of choice, when it has only brought pain?

* * *

As angry as I was and, as much as that anger still lingered, I felt some bit of release and some shock, yet I felt unsure. Yukari had told me to kill her if she thinks it'll help. She no longer cared about whether or not she had lived or died and the fact that she had a gun sitting before her. When my anger dissolved to a certain degree, I had seen a look in the combination of shame, regret, bitterness, and everlasting sorrow.  _What happened to her?_  I wondered. I wanted to know, yet I didn't want to.

As I stood there, staring at her, I wondered as to what I was really angry with. Was I angry with her or was I angry with our circumstances, especially Reimu's? I didn't want her to be locked away and neither did I see any reason for her to be, yet she was. I never got a say in this and neither did Reimu. She didn't fight it, no. Usually, she would fight what she thought would be authority fucking her over, yet, she did not.

Not knowing what else to think, I left Yukari where she was. She said nothing else, preferring to let me walk away. I walked out of the apartment and to where Reimu was kept. I knew I could never get the door open without the key, as it was back with Yukari, so I opted to place my hand on the door, imagining her hand holding mine, as it did all that time ago. The more I imagined, the more I yearned. I yearned to hold her close, yet, I could not. Her holding my hand is just a memory.

A bitter memory of how much has changed and what we couldn't get back. What was lost couldn't be regained and neither could we see it still.

* * *

"Yukari?!"


	117. Farewell, my wonderful babies

After that performance the day before, I went to rouse her for breakfast, yet she gave no answer. Three times, I called her name and still she didn't answer. To my upset, I had found her bed empty with a note on her pillow. She seemed to have left sometime during the night, from what I knew. Would she return? As far as I knew, she wouldn't and it might be the case. She warned me of this beforehand, although I doubt that she had left to kill herself, however, as far as I knew, I wasn't to see her again. As I sat on her nicely made up bed and thought about the note left behind on her pillow. It took about an hour or two for me to take it and when I did, I found cold tears running down my face. She was gone and it was even harder for me to muster up enough strength to read the letter she's left behind.

* * *

_Dear Beloveds,_

_If you are reading this, then that means I will have left and I haven't a clue as to whether or not I'll return. I have thought long and hard about this, all through the night and I have thought very much about what Chen has said and I think my absence will be for the best, please forgive me. I'm sure you'd be fine managing without me, after all, I've done all I truly could and I've taught all that you know, all that is needed, so you'll fare. I suppose you are angry, upset, and probably have large tears forming rivers down your face and I am sorry for the sorrow I will have caused you. You'll be fine, I know, and no matter how far away from or when we we may ever see one another again, our memories will always be with us and, in each of our hearts, we'll always be with one another._

_Also, take care of Gensokyo Apartments for me and try not to miss me too much. Farewell, my beautiful babies._

_Sincerely_ _,_

_八雲 紫_

* * *

After reading the note, over and over and over again, I wanted no more than to summon her back. Call her back to be with us again. Going out to look for her would be of no use, as it's unlikely she wanted to be found, thus she would change her location. I resigned myself to the thought that we'd never see her again. If she was at peace with her leaving, then, fine, we may as well be at peace, too. I sat the note by the keys on the nightstand, lied down, and stared at all the photos she's had.

As I stare at them, I could hear voice again,...

_"Good morning, Ran."_

...Only I didn't have the strength to say "Good Morning" back. Those days were long passed, I knew, and they would never come back. I forced my eyes shut, as the tears stung and the pain of it all swelled. The others will find out she's gone but then I remembered Reimu, Maribel, Chen, and Renko, as they will be so deeply affected by her abscence, especially Renko and Reimu, the latter having lost her sanity and the former because she may forget her and become reasonably hearbroken. In feeling so much sorrow, I started to feel anger. She had left us, leaving me virtually alone to handle it all. I couldn't resent her for that, though, and, eventually, I'll learn to let it go, within time.

* * *

"You hear that Tosca's gone?"

"Yes, Huzi, I've heard."

 


	118. Her Absence

"You hear that Tosca's gone?" Huzi asked, noting the talk of the apartment building. It was true that she had departed and she did so without saying anything or even telling anyone that she had left. That left the question to who would run Apartment Gensokyo in her absence. Ren has untimely passed on and has been for about three and a half years since then and Ran, with her chronic bouts or paralysis, cannot do that, as stairs tend to be difficult manage for her and the elevator that does work is on the third floor, so she is mostly confined to the our floor, the fourth. That wasn't the only concern, as there was the thought about Reimu, who was still locked away. Yukari had been the one mostly taking care of a mentally ill Reimu besides Ran and the one who could mainly understand her.

As everyone talked, I could hear Reimu's faint cries. She could feel her absence and mourned it as such. Like some of the rest of us, she wished she could call her back, yet she knew she couldn't so she could only cry. Of course, she cried not only for that but because, truly, in her state of mind, she was very much alone, with no one else to really understand. In a way, she was crying out for comfort, crying out for the one she's designated to be her "mother", crying out for all to be right. She had often sought to comfort others, even outright telling us not cry over her or what has happened to her, yet, there she was, crying out for all to be right, desiring a bit of comfort. Of us all, Reimu found Yukari's absence to be the most tearing, leaving us to wonder as to why Yukari didn't take her with her. Perhaps, it was in her best interests to stay.

Time has passed, seasons changed, and Yukari has yet to return, her absence becoming more like old news. A maddened Reimu now roams the hallways whenever she can, frightening whatever tenants live here and only staying confined when ill. Interestingly, she hasn't tried to follow her, then again, something in her knew she probably would never see her again. To make it worse, Yukari didn't even say goodbye, especially to her, the child she had loved so dearly. Maybe it was for the best, so Reimu will have learned not to miss her.

Since she had gone, Chen still hurries to the lobby to see if she'd return. Guilt seems to have eaten away at her.  _"Was she really angry with Yukari or was she angry towards our circumstances, especially Reimu's?"_  was the question without answer. She still waited, until, ultimately, she stopped going down to the lobby altogether. Eventually, talk of Yukari's absence ceased and life continued on as only it could

* * *

"You'd do no such thing."


	119. Wisdom Born From Madness

She doesn't often give straight answers, not any that makes any sense, then again, she normally isn't coherent but, unlike the others, by this point, she is my only confidant. To make her happy, I thought about bringing Yukari back for her or bringing her to see her, to which she responded, "You'd do no such thing." I was confused by her response and her emotions. She was painfully numbed, which was clear, however, I thought she'd be happy, yet she wasn't. Yukari had been gone for some time and the snow had been on the ground during a big part of the cold season. Even though Yukari had largely been forgotten and her absence old news, Reimu and I both yearned for her to return.

"What do you mean I'd do no such thing?" I asked her, to which, in a familiar move, she placed her hand on my head. It was a comforting gesture, although she usually did that to comfort herself and that was when she was little. She held it there for a few minutes before retracting it while saying, " _Chen_ , you'd never find her and one cannot find what is neither lost nor wants to be found. She doesn't want to be found and neither is she lost. If you go, it will be a journey full of pain and without an end, a journey without purpose. Leave if it be your wish, although, I don't know if we'll see one another again."

She didn't give straight a straight answer, exactly, however, she taught me a lesson. I had to let Yukari go and that she's made her choice. Maybe in the end it'll work out for the best.

* * *

_"Is that it then, Reimu, is it?"_


	120. Finale!: Sands of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess this is it, the end and I haven't a clue where I'll go after this, anyway, I would like to thank you all for reading and staying with me and this story, the total of 120 chapters, through Apr 24, 2014- Feb 14. 2015. I thank ya'll sincerely. -Amoridere

Life has changed ever so much and the world has slowly started to heal for the better, although we have no one to rule or guide over us. Time has not left us unchanged and some of us have gone. To be honest, I feel so alone in this apartment, with everyone either passed on or moved on with their own lives. I haven't too much a life of my own, really, and I don't think I ever will. I suppose I would be content for that, since illness and madness hasn't given me much of a life. I also hadn't much to look forward to but I can no longer look behind.

As time had passed, it feels so bittersweet and it seemed like only yesterday that our misfortunes and fortunes began and now they cycle back around. Ran's children have grown and move on, some even getting married and others having children. Cirno and Mushrooms went back to live in the forest, taking Tadpole with them. Youmu did learn how to use comprehensive speech to some degree, although she still and mostly says, "muh". Kaguya has been travelling on and off, going wherever to build hospitals and teach the art of medicine, and Huzi stopped shooting herself in the face and sometimes takes the time out to teach whatever she knows. Remilia runs an orphanage and Flandre still smokes. Kosuzu is long gone and only Miko, Tenshi, and Kisume remain. Like Alice, Marisa grew up and has gone to pursue her own ambitions, leading a more nomadic existence and taking the time out to make records. Suika remained Suika, although, she does help run an orphanage, and Chen hasn't at all changed, yet, like the others, she did move on. Renko did regain some more of her memories and Maribel looks after Apartment Gensokyo, like Yukari-Mommie once did.

Yukari never did return and, sometimes, I wonder where she's gone or whether or not she's still alive. Perhaps, she isn't, although I know I'd never see her again anyway, as she doesn't want to be found. Currently, Ran, having grown old, is on her last legs, yet she still persists. It hurts, as she doesn't want to let go just yet. Her time is borrowed, she knows, yet she wants a new purpose, even though I've reassured her I am fine and, while Ren still waits, she is free to rejoin him.

My misfortunes never end and neither do they change, as others do with the sands of time.

Interesting.

* * *

_Is that it then, Reimu, is it?"_

"Yes, I think it probably is. That's the end, Yukari-Mama."


End file.
